Abuse No More

Have you ever wished you can redo your life? I mean have thought about it so many times that I wish I can redo everything. I was 19 years old when I met him , so young and just not as smart and he knew this. I don't regret my kids and I never will just wish they had a different father.

He showed me how lovable he was but then he changed after we moved to another state with our daughter. He demanded so many things and demanded sexual favors that I was uncomfortable about. He got so angry with me that he punched a hole into the wall that was so close to my head.

I gave in and it was nothing but a screaming , yelling, throwing things at me. It got worse as the years went by from him cheating to beating me when I told him no when he asked for sex.

2007 going into 2008 he got deployed and it was a sigh of relief, I worked on saving to leave him and thought I had enough time to leave him, before he returned but boy was I wrong. during his time away I was attacked and I called him to let him know, What a MISTAKE as he took that to his advantaged when we flew back home. he was angry when he found out I moved and when he found me and our daughter he broke into our home and beat me so bad that I couldn't move. I cried so much that he told me I should be use to this since it has already happened to me.

I tried calling 911 and he told me he would twisted the truth to make it look like I was at fault and to hang up the phone if I knew what was good for me. What was I going to do?, I didn't want to wind up in a body bag. I had no choice I stayed with him let him back into my home. The abuse went one for a total of 7 years when I had some I worked with help me get out. I found 2 full time jobs after having our second child and worked late hours to avoid him which always backfires on me cause he would accused me of having an affair. When I got out , I really thought I was done with him when our divorce was final but boy was I totally wrong, Cause I left he promised to make my life a living hell.

I am survivor of 15 years of Verbal, Mental and physical abuse, which I never thought would end But It is going on a year an a half of relief but I still have nightmares and flashbacks. I did remarried into a better Marriage and a better, environment for me and my children but it took years to grow a backbone to fight back and regain my life back and to have the mind set to take care of me to give my kids a mom they remember. The only thing will not see is a mom that still has break downs in private.