About the Author

She was born in East York Hospital Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Her mother lived in the East end of Toronto, and her father was from Regent Park Toronto. She was the procreation of teenage lust. Her father was born into abuse, and abused her mother at a young age. Her mother was also subjected to violence from her fathers family. They constantly fought over her. Her mother tried all she could within the family court system to not expose her to her father, but back in late 80's, early 90's this was a hard court battle for any mother. Her father was granted bi weekly weekend visits, as well as two weeks during summer vacation. He went to jail for 1 year for physically abusing her mother, and he was unable to pick her up as no contact orders were in place. She was picked up by his family and brought to Don Mount Court in Toronto, when her fathers family moved there when she was 3 years of age. Her father lived in Public housing in Moss Park, while the rest stayed in Don Mount court. When she was 17 her fathers mother moved onto the west end of the Danforth. Her mother moved to the Scarborough area when she was 6 years old. They moved again to Stouffville when she was 14. Her father moved to the Danforth in East York around this time.

She lived on the streets of Toronto when she ran away from home. She lived in a rooming house in Stouffville with other teenagers with various mental health issues. She was admitted into hospital wards for self-harm and drug related incidents from the age of 15-18 years old when the mental health system then looked at her as an adult. She did not re enter into hospitalization through-out her 20s, but sought out therapy as an outpatient. At 16 she met her first boyfriend who was abusive in the same rooming house. At 20 she lived in York Region and relapsed with roommates in a basement rental, and from there moved to East York and found out she was pregnant with her first child. The father of her children was a classmate and ex-boyfriend of her childhood best friend. They had 3 children together, they were together on and off for 6 years, he cheated on her for 5 of those years. She was a high school dropout, but later got her GED and went to College. She was abandoned by her mother, who cared more about moving forward in her career and was abused by her father and watched her step mother get physically, emotionally, financially, and sexually abused by her father.

She moved around a lot in her 20's, she lived in East York, Uxbridge, North Scarborough, Oshawa, Port Perry, and Bradford. She was subjected to violence from her partners until the age of 30. While in Oshawa she suffered from agoraphobia, and was subjected to being kidnapped, and around dangerous criminals. She had to give her kids, willingly (not through the system) to her family while she fixed her mental health and could give her children a life without criminal activities going on around her. She has two half brothers, one on her fathers side, and one on her mothers. She bailed her brother and father out of jail multiple times. She never went to jail herself, and was only ever held for questioning. All of her abusive partners did jail time for abusing her. At the age of 30 she decided that it was enough, and she now advocates through her life experiences for other abused women.

The blogs you are about to read are not for the faint of heart. They are based on true events that she went through in life. There will be many triggering stories for anyone who is going through similar or has gotten through similar. The point is to spread awareness that you are not alone and that healing is never an easy journey but is completely doable. She has been called strong, resilient, brave, inspiring and that others need to hear her story because she has been faced with so many events in her 36 years on this earth that most people do not ever come in contact, or experience. She hopes to help others in their own healing, and that they are never alone, though she has had to do most of the work by herself. She has had many wonderful supports throughout the years and never stops trying to be the best version of herself even when it feels like the world is a place she no longer wants to be in. There will be content with self harm, suicide attempts and thoughts. There will be content with domestic violence and sexual assault. There will be content that will show others the world through the eyes of a girl, now a woman who refuses to allow her childhood and early adulthood affect her future.

For anyone struggling with any of this content please reach out to your local crisis line and or hospital. There are many agencies who help with mental health, and addictions. You are never alone in this world even when it may feel that there is no way out. She can promise you, it gets better.

Much love and light for your support, and for reading this blog, you are helping in the full healing process and her goal of one day having her story published for the world to see. You rock.

Thank you.

Phoenix May.