A Walk Through The Park

Every once in a great while, a union is formed that changes the outcome of the lives of those involved. Sometimes, this mergence will affect many more lives than just the ones that are in the union. Other times it only affects those involved, like the happy elderly couple who are smiling blissfully as they walk hand in hand, occasionally gazing into each other’s eyes and truly seeing the other. These are much deeper on a personal level, filling the involved with a sense of joy, making everything seem brighter and more meaningful overall. However, nobody ever expects it to happen when they first meet, let alone when they first speak. Therefore, Chase had no way of preparing for this moment.

It was already late in the morning on this dreary autumn day. The gray skies laid over the city like a giant blanket of the simplest design while kissing the city in a depressing drizzle of rain. The crisp chill in the air blew in with gusts that invigorated most, but Chase O’Connell was far from most.

Cracking his eyes open ever so slightly, he scanned the room with a disheartened groan, realizing that life was still sitting there, waiting to drag him across the coals again. He had hoped that the previous night would have been the night that life finally released its cruel grasp on him, but it was not to be as he found himself in his tiny, dingy apartment with the cracked paint on the walls and a small collection of furnishings that was made up of a stained mattress, a tiny table, and an old chair. The bare walls lacked any pictures or other décor, only holding an outdated wall clock that hung slightly askew. Why me, Chase asked himself as he rolled from his bed and stood up to stretch his muscles. After taking notice of the time that glowed from the display on his microwave, he rushed through his morning routine, and sped through the door and off to work.

For the past five years, O’Connell had been working for a suicide prevention hotline, the only employment that he had been able to find. Offering a wage that would have had to be inflated to be considered meager and virtually no benefits, Chase had to supplement his income several times a month by selling plasma or taking part in clinical trials that reaped havoc on his body just to support himself, which weighed heavily on his self-respect and self-image, and drove him into a deep depression. Not having much had also taken a toll on any prospects that Chase had of dating. Between the minimal compensation and the soul-devouring loneliness, a massive hole had been opened inside of him that he had fallen into without hope of rescue. And he did not plan to be.

As Chase reached his drab cubicle and sat down to start yet another day of hell, his mind drifted to the dark place that he called home. The irony of wanting to end it all and all the while having his occupation had not been lost on him at all. In fact, it was one of the only thoughts that actually amused him. He just could no longer bring himself to care.

He was so lost in his despair that the ringing from his phone made him jump. With a roll of his eyes, he grabbed an old black binder from a nearby bookstand, cracked it open to the company-provided call script, and picked up the phone. As he pressed it to his ear, he tried to sound somewhat happy. However, he failed miserably.

“Suicide prevention,” Chase muttered into the phone. Despite his best efforts, the words dripped with humorless sarcasm. For thirty seconds, his words were simply met with a sob before the caller replied.

“It’s too much,” a woman’s voice came back over the phone. The tremble in her voice clearly revealed a deep depression, reflecting his own dark mood.

For one reason or another, Chase seldom spoke to female callers, so he already expected plenty of issues. Typically, he did not even know how to speak to women due to his lack of confidence. Of course, this would be my first caller today, he thought to himself as his mind took its turn rolling its eyes, I just need to get through work and then it will be finally time for sweet release from this lifelong dump. Chase cleared his throat really quickly before taking his turn to speak. “What is too much?” he said while taking control of his voice.

The voice came back in barely a whisper, “Everything. It’s always my fault and I can’t take it anymore. Not alone at least.”

“But you’re not alone. What’s your name?” he asked.

“Jennifer,” she replied, finally settled down with an even voice, “How about you?” she asked with her own sarcastic tone.

Taken aback by the fact that someone was really asking about him, this pulled his focus from the script. Did he hear that right? Was this a joke? “Um…. Ch…. Chase,” he sputtered, caught completely off guard, “My name is Chase.” In all five years that he had been at this job, barely anybody in the office asked his name, let alone a caller. This must have been just a mistake; some sort of accident or I had simply misheard the woman, he thought to himself. Forcing himself to focus on the conversation at hand, Chase continued. “So, Jennifer, what is it that you do?”

“Do you really care?” Jennifer questioned suspiciously.

“I do. But to be perfectly honest with you, I’m not all that sure why.” This call had started to go sideways, so I might as well just keep going, he thought. After today it won’t matter anyways. “Nobody has ever cared about what I do. Plus, I should really be calling here, not working here,” he stated with a grim smile to himself.

An awkward silence was all that met his ill-thought words. See? I am designed for nothing but self-destruction, was the only thought in Chase’s head, making the next occurrence all the more puzzling.

Laughter.

It started out as just a slight chuckle; a small giggle that sounded like bells to his ears. A chuckle that brought color to his gray life, and light to the darkened corners of his mind. He could not explain why, but that angelic sound that he heard at that moment, he naturally recognized as being a laugh that had been meant for only the two of them.

“Is that so?” Jennifer finally replied in what could only be described as a playful tone. “I bet you’re doing better than I am.”

A sly grin spread across Chase’s face. This is the best call that I’ve ever had, he said to himself. He could not help it; this just was not him. Chase had always been that guy that would nervously stare at the floor while kicking his toe at the ground with nervous energy. The kind of guy that mumbled somewhat incoherently when speaking to the opposite gender, stumbling over his words with his mind blank. But for whatever reason, it was different with Jennifer.

The two continued to talk, learning that they shared several of the same interests, concerns, and even fears. To Chase, the conversation could not have lasted more than ten glorious minutes, however, after glancing at a nearby clock, he was stunned at realizing that he had been talking with her for about an hour now. With a grimace, Chase knew that he had to end the conversation. It was now or never.

“So, look, I don’t ever do this with callers…. actually, I don’t ever do this with anyone, but my lunch break is coming up and I’ve never enjoyed talking to someone this much. Would you, maybe, um….” Chase’s voice trailed off and got caught in his throat. What are you doing? Say it already! Do it! “Maybe want to have lunch with me? Like in the park or something?”

A following pause seemed to sap the life from Chase as he began questioning everything he had just heard himself say. Oh my God, I must be crazy, he thought. It felt like all his blood had rushed to his face while sweat poured from his palms and the moisture in his mouth became equal to a summer day in the Gobi Desert. “Hello?”

“Yeah,” Jennifer finally responded, sounding shocked to her core. “Yeah. I think that I would like that.”

“Okay!” Chase heard himself blurt out, unable to hide the exhilaration in his voice. His heart began to pound like a kettle drum, threatening to leap from his chest in excitement. He could hardly believe that he had asked this perfect woman out, even less so that she had said yes.

After rushing through a few more callers, Chase stole a peek at the clock again, relieved to see that it was time to go. He raced outside and for the first time in as long as he could remember, he could not shake the smile. The overcast skies had cleared up and the sun shone brightly, bathing everything in a heavenly warmth. The atmosphere was full of the sounds of birds chirping and the smell of fresh cut grass. Who knew that fresh cut grass could smell so amazing?

In reality, it only took about five minutes to get to the park, but Chase was ready to jump from his skin and it felt like an hour or two. He was nervous while he looked around for Jennifer, and it must have been obvious as a couple of people that were sitting on a nearby restaurant’s porch pointed and snickered at him around what looked like a couple of glasses of merlot. From there, he could not tell what was happening around him because everything seemed to melt away once his eyes landed on what he had been looking for.

All Chase could see was a beautiful pair of deep green eyes and the goddess that they belonged to. Her porcelain skin was draped with long, flowing red hair that just had to be made from silk. Is this really her, he thought to himself, entranced by her intoxicating beauty. She was the only person in sight wearing this particular Star Wars t-shirt that she had described to him for identification. Once he regained a measure of his composure, Chase dug deep down and found the courage to speak. Taking a deep breath, he strode up to the woman. “Jennifer?” he inquired in an unsteady voice.

The woman pulled her attention away and quickly stared at the ground. “Are you Chase?” she replied, still turned downwards toward her shoes, but a smile could be seen creeping across her face. It was the most beautiful sight Chase had ever seen.

Their somewhat awkward conversation continued for about another hour, making his return to work tardy for the first time ever, but he could not muster up a care in the world. They walked and talked, eventually holding hands as they did so, for so long that they had both completely forgot to eat. But neither cared as they both sensed something beautiful blooming right before their eyes.

They spent many an evening together moving forward, purely enjoying each other’s company. All thoughts of suicide dissolved, never to reappear again. How could they? After finding each other, everything seemed to fall into place. Chase managed to find a much better job, eventually asking Jennifer to move in with him, to which she happily accepted while pursuing a career as an artist. The rest of their lives were filled with happiness.

To these two, life was no longer a prison sentence. They no longer dreaded the next day or what life held for them, planning an early escape from their days. No. To these two, life was now just a walk in the park.