A Special Bond

Some years ago, I moved into my grandparents house. My kids were in middle and high school at the time. I was waiting for my divorce to be final and had met someone online in a chat room. After talking to this guy for a couple of months, he agreed to come to NC from Illinois. My family didn't like him at all. They tend to be judgmental and think the worst of every situation before proven otherwise.

In the meantime, there was a guy that lived next door to me that I hadn't officially met yet. We had seen each other out in the yard and sometimes drove past each other coming and going from the neighborhood. He stayed quiet and kept to himself, never had company.

Well after a couple of months talking to that guy I met online, he came down to see if we could make a relationship work. Since my family didn't like him, he was not allowed to stay at our house. He was not allowed to eat meals with us and not allowed to even be on the property. Keep in mind at the time, I was in my 30's with my family treating my boyfriend and myself this way. He bounced around from place to place in and out of hotels until after about 3 months, when we mutually agreed he needed to go back to Illinois. So he did.

After he left and some time had passed, I was confused about where we stood and our relationship. We knew it wouldn't work if he was here, so I decided to go there and give it a try. But before I would stay there for an indefinite period of time, I only wanted to go for a weekend. I wanted to see where he lived, how he lived and just be around in his environment. I guess to get a taste of what I would be getting into. I went up there, and things went south quick. He was abusive and I got stuck there for a month. Finally I was able to make contact with my family online. They got me back home. What a nightmare. It was over. But I was really messed up after that.

When I got back home, I found out that my next door neighbor had been doing things that scared the neighbors and terrorizing the neighborhood. We found out he was a diagnosed schizophrenic. His name.....we will call him "Spencer". The people in our neighborhood were nervous of him being around. He had screaming matches in his yard at night, drove drunk around the neighborhood through people's yards, threatened people, etc. Everyone was always calling the police on him. I felt sorry for him. He had no one around at all. There was never anyone over at his house. He worked and came home. He did a lot of projects around his house, in and outdoors. He had a natural talent for that. He could do whatever project he wanted by himself and with no instructions. I also would hear him at night sometimes through and open window playing his guitar. He was really good.

It seemed like "Spencer" was always at odds with everyone and could not make any friends at all. The neighbors were intimidated by him and wanted nothing to do with him. I liked watching him do things in his yard. I sent him an anonymous letter one day telling him that I really liked what he was doing with his yard. I never signed my name to it. Somehow he knew it was me. About after a week of sending that letter to him, we were about to pass each other in our cars leaving and coming into the neighborhood. I was at a stop sign and when he got to the stop sign, he got out of his vehicle and approached mine. He introduced himself and thanked me for the letter. To this day, I have no idea how he found out it was from me. We went down to the neighborhood park and talked for a bit.

From then on, we were together often. We had certain meeting places we would go to, so that no one knew we were friends, and no one would harass us for hanging out together. Yes it was that bad. My family didn't like him and had a habit of picking my friends. If I didn't listen to them or didn't agree with them, then that meant I was simply rebelling against them.....as far as they were concerned.

Eventually "Spencer" and I started hanging out in our own neighborhood at his house. The neighbors talked, didn't like it and were confused. He became my best friend. It took about 6 months to get his full trust. After what I went through in Illinois, he helped me adjust to being back in NC. He was amazing to me and treated me like a porcelain doll. I felt free with him, cared about and safe. He never yelled at me, never cussed at me and was never mean to me in any way, shape or form.

We didn't care what the neighbors thought or what my family thought. Being friends, I was able to run interference between he and the neighbors. I was able to defend him when it was necessary. The neighbors and my family saw how he treated me. It didn't matter. Their minds were already made up. They had no interest in getting to know him or spend any kind of time with him. They were STILL upset with me for being his friend. He had no family in NC and no friends he spent any time with. He was there for me when I needed someone the most. I could tell him anything in the world I wanted or needed to, and he never judged me. He was always very supportive. Other people just never understood him or me or us together. But we bonded and to this day, it will never be broken.