A Pep Talk to the Oppressed Women!

Its not easy being human. Its hard being female in a male-dominated world. Being woman in a conservative, patriarchy-ruled society like India or Afghanistan can be excruciating.

I like the Western world, the way women are handed some freedom. Still abuse occurs, but she has option to live independent life.

But in conservative societies, women linger on, to not draw the humiliation and exploitation of the society.

Did not bring dowry? Punish her in whatever way you can.

Husband is depressed? Beat her and feel powerful.

Did not birth son or kid? Call her witch or barren. Ask her to take hormonal therapy. Let her keep delivering until she meets the goal.

She birthed only girls? Ask her to undergo abortion. Ask her to bring wealth from her father to marry off the girl child.

Put your veil properly. It does not matter if its 45 degree C heat. Let men roam shirtless. Wear bangles and anklets. Don’t venture out. If its for earning, sure you can go. Eat in husband’s plate to show devotion.

She rejected me? Throw acid and scar her face.

Husband died premature? She will stay widow life-long. Wife died? The man will marry by the next year.

I have even seen man keeping two or more wives in my small town. Out of helplessness, she would continue with the shame.

Menstrual periods? Stay confined to house.

Fast for brother and husband. Nobody will do for her.

Before the British came, child marriage, and widow burning were common.

She has no share in father’s property. If the husband rejects, she has nothing to fall back on.

Gaslight her that she needs to be dolled up. Let the chemical cosmetics ruin her hormones and health.

They would give her little power beyond cooking, cleaning, childcare. If she stayed isolated and did some craft, she must be witch. If she is extrovert and talked to men, she is whore.

I am sorry women. They wrote narratives to suit them, and abused you. Other women became enforcer to continue the vicious cycle.

Its hypocrisy at its height, that they worship pantheons of female Gods. They have built legions of temples for the idols, but real women are treated like dirt.

I got lucky. Education opened freedom portals for me.

My stint with the patriarchy was fleeting. Even that brief period was stifling.

I wear whatever I desire, I skip ornaments, ride bicycle, drive car, do coding, publish papers, pursue hobbies, have kids when I feel ready. I don’t fast for husband or don’t eat in his plate, but I strive to help him financially. I summon by medical knowledge and make good judgements for the family. I call it an emancipated life.

I want the same for my daughter. Be your own person. Don’t let anybody pull your strings. Savor freedom of choice, flex your voice, and rejoice in it.

Things are changing for good.

Women are taking up all sorts of livelihood options, from being pilot, auto driver to every other jobs. No more mere doctor, nurse, teacher. They are traveling the world alone. They are living alone, with their pets or plants.

Patriarchy be damned. Not giving her any power and calling her weak, is crime. See her in the delivery room. I have gone twice through the hell. Endure a fraction of that suffering, and then call her weak! Out of her desire to nurture, she bears untold agony, often brushing shoulders with death. Dare not call her weak!

Empower yourself women. It will enable you to vanquish the ugly patriarchy.

Some of the women are privileged and breaking glass ceilings. I am aware. But lets not lie to ourselves, they are a thin slice of the pie. Most of those women were already born into wealth and power! Women from lower socioeconomic strata are still struggling. They are largely unsupported, exploited, and abandoned.

Much to be done. Rebel. Keep your chin up and spine straight. Inspire.

Follow the right role models. Don’t get carried away by the social media influencers.

Live your life in your terms. You don’t have to amass wealth. You dont have mold yourself as per the narratives of others.

Sometimes, being able to hike the wilderness; kayaking the lake; sitting by the marsh and painting the ducks; growing a garden…

..is bliss!

Break free from the shackles of oppression.

Search your soul for the calling.