A Nice Pear

A Nice Pear (forbidden fruit)

Original Sin

It all began at the end of the beginning.

Eve was sitting quite content, underneath what she thought was an apple tree. A breath of wind shook the tree in the gentlest of way, but enough to dislodge a dangling fruit. It landed on Eve’s lap. Eve looked down in puzzlement. The fruit was a little bit yellow and quite a bit red and looked very enticing. Curiosity got the better of her. First, she lifted it to her nose, and sniffed it. Indeed, it did smell fruity even though Eve had no idea what a fruit was. She was mesmerised. It seemed to be the only object catching her interest.

Meanwhile Adam was aimlessly ambling by, bored sick with not much to talk about as the land he lived in was only partly created. He was sort of trapped, like all the residents, in a garden called Eden – very pretty but not much action. The real action was outside. He was in there for his own safety, you understand, as there were all sorts of upheavals going on past the pearly gates that led to the wide world outside the perimeter fence.

Mountains, valleys, rivers, seas, deserts, and a whole host of Earthly things were being forged by the Creator. Nobody knew who or what the Creator was but as Adam and Eve were the only two inhabitants, that did not seem to matter. They did not reckon on a third party that was hidden in the long grass.

It was I, the snake in the grass. I’d had my stealthy eye on them both as soon as they mysteriously appeared. I think I materialised at the same time, as my memory was very limited, and I could not remember anything except the previous day when I first saw them. No bother though, here I was and, as I was, I was determined to cause a bit of mischief.

I slithered behind Adam who was counting his fingers and toes with about as much enthusiasm as I had for chewing grass – no other choice of food as yet.

“Psssssssssst!” I hissed.

Stunned to hear a sound that was not of his own making, he spun around to see the origin of the unusual noise. “What made that sound and why can’t I see you or it?”

“It’ssssssss me, your friendly sssssnake.” I spoke in my most soothing and enticing manner.

“Where? I cannot see anything.” he replied.

“Down here, in the grasssss. It is I, Snake Eyesssss.”

That was the only name I could come up with on the spur of the moment as I realised, I did not seem to have one. To get a little closer to me he squatted on all fours (he was lucky to have them as I had to crawl around on my belly all the time, and that couch grass is very scratchy down below).

With genuine curiosity, he looked square into my snake eyes and asked what I was.

“I’m your friend.” I lied like a true snake in the grass. “What may your name be, dare I assssk?”

“I’m Adam and over there is my lass, Eve. I don’t quite know how we got our names or what they mean. They just sort of came to us in a dream. How about you?”

Looking up, I hissed, “Sssssssame here! But are you happy?”

“To tell the truth, whatever that is, I’m bored off my trolly. Whatever that is as well. And Eve doesn’t seem to even notice me. She’s just been sitting there fondling that thing and I might as well be invisible”

Instinct motivated my deception.

“Well,” I replied. “I have a suggestion for you. Underneath that tree is a very lovey pear above a lovely pair of thighs.”

Adam flushed in embarrassment and agreed that Eve did have a lovely pair. He had not yet learned how to spell and confused the meaning. The meaning was not the only confused thing as I was a bit non-plussed myself.

“That fruit on her lap is a pear,”

I lied again.

“It is a bit like an apple from an apple tree.” I vaguely pointed one out with my tail, to the left of us in the orchard area. “That’s where the leaf covering your bits came from. Just out of interest, how do you manage to keep it in position?”

“I felt a bit of a sap being naked and the sap was very sticky, so I stuck it over my do dah and gave one to Eve for her funny bits. Don’t ask me why. It came to me in a vision.”

“Vision ssssssmision.” I gloated. “Do you not think it would be much more fun to be naked and have a bit of a frolic in the long grass?”

“What’s a frolic?”

“You’ll find out as soon as you have one.” I sssssnickered. “Tell you what. Ask her to have a bite of the pear and I can guarantee that she will get a bit of an appetite for you.”

I could see Adam mulling it over. I must admit he wasn’t the brightest light in the garden but as they were the only two humans, I suppose it made him the second brightest, not counting myself.

“Ok. I’ll do it!”

My tail started wagging and I suspect it wouldn’t be too long before Adam’s did the same. “Go man go.” I hissed with glee.

He sprung to his feet and with a spring in his step, swaggered over to the ‘pear’ tree under which Eve was perusing the ‘pear’. He waved for her attention.

“Hi Eve. What you got there?”

“Tis an apple but I don’t know what to do with it.”

With a big smirk stretching across his tanned face, he laughed. “That’s not an apple. It’s a pear.”

She tried to explain that she had a vision while she was meditating over the fruit, and a voice in her head told her it was a forbidden apple.

“Well pet. I’ve just heard from a reliable source that it is in fact a pear. It is a tasty fruit that is asking to be eaten. Go on, have a bite and then you can give me one.” He genuinely did not realise his double entendre which is not surprising as the French language had not yet been invented.

“I don’t know if we should, as I suspect it will result in dire consequences if we do.” She shrugged her shoulders and grinned, mainly because she had no idea what she was talking about, not knowing what a dire or a consequence was. “Come and sit next to me and we can bite together.”

Adam cockily leapt forward and plonked himself with expectation, next to Eve. The female held the pear between both of their opposing lips which had started drooling in anticipation. Their mouths opened wide in preparation of gouging out two delicious chunks of the fruit, when suddenly a terrible voice BOOMED from out of the heavens like colliding planets.

“DO NOT BITE THAT APPLE. DO NOT BITE THAT APPLE!”

At first, they were both shocked to the core (they soon would be), when Adam burst out laughing and replied as condescendingly loudly as he could. “This is not an apple – it’s a pear, so there.”

With that they both took the biggest bite from out of that juicy apple.

Success!

I, the snake in the grass, had lied – again.

And, as they say, the rest is history.

Or is it?

Word count. 1264