A Marriage I Did Not Plan To Fail

A Marriage I Did Not Plan To Fail

Human Map Of The Self 2025

Mariann Carroll, October 27, 2025

I started dating my ex-husband before 911 happened.

I told myself I would not go for looks but character.

You can say, I am not a good judge of Character.

My ex-husband used to be an ex-map salesman.

Back then, people sold maps, but the shift to GPS gadgets

came quickly.

When I met him, he had just gotten a new job in New Jersey.

He works for a well-known printing company, and for some reason, he kept running out of luck.

The printing company went out of business because printing is much cheaper in China. They could not compete with the low price China offers to magazines.

To make the story short, by the time the wedding day arrived, my ex-husband had been laid off. He was not able to bring any clients. This was just before 911 happened. To protect his pride, he told everyone he lost his job because of 911.

I ended up footing the bill for our wedding. I saw how ambitious he was and thought he would find a job. He was too ambitious to accept a job that would not pay him less than $40,000.00 annually.

I had my own place, and I still had my second job. My ex convinced me to give up my full-time job. He was always jealous of any clients I spoke to at the bank. I was a commercial teller. I had to make sure our clients were treated very well. Make sure they did not have any issues with their transactions. My ex-husband would come to the bank and stand in front of my teller's post.

I had my own spot, separate from the other Tellers. Business clients have a special door that I can beep them into because they carry a large amount of cash.

I couldn't stop my ex-husband from visiting me at work whenever he wanted, so I resigned from my job at the bank.

I got pregnant on our honeymoon. I still work part-time at JCPenney, a mall close to home. I worked for over 5 years at JCPenney, long after they stopped selling a catalog.

My kidney stopped working, and my legs were as big as my tummy. I did not quit that job because of it. The store manager was very nice to me. They let me sit in the dressing room and fold clothes instead of standing at the cash register.

My ex-husband would visit me during working hours. I thought it was very sweet until he keep making up that guys are visiting me at the store. I had no idea how he came up with that. I could hardly walk. I work at the women's department, so most of the customers were female.

I quit that job to appease him. He was angry at his situation and had physically taken it out on me. I used my retirement savings to live off of. He did not have to pay any household bills. I did it all.

I was not the type of person to sit at home, so I took up a photography class. My ex-husband was planning his Wedding photography business. I thought I could help him out. I cannot put it mildly, he was a complete monster.

He started complaining about everything, even though he wasn't paying for anything. I tried to work on our marriage, but things got worse. I was not physically safe anymore.

My neighbors seem to know about my abuse. One neighbor told me to go to the police station and get an order of protection. I did not because I started to feel very unwell; it was hard to get out of bed. I am grateful for my OB doctor, she really made sure I had the right specialist. They had to put a stent in my kidney. I was more worried about my daughter than myself.

I finally gave birth, and I had to stay longer in the hospital, and they let my daughter stay as long with me. I pray my ex took care of my dog while I was in the hospital. I do not know what happened to my dog’s fur. It was February very cold. My dog was a Japanese Spitz. They have tons of hair, especially during the winter months. My ex comb most of its hair off.

My ex-husband always had the worst luck because he wasn't the kind of person I thought he was. He was good at putting on a guise that he was a caring person.

I stayed because of my daughter. When I knew my daughter was not safe either, I finally filed for a divorce.

My roadmap was to be the best mother I could be, given the situation I was dealing with.

Note: I wrote many unfinished stories for my daughter to enjoy. Now my daughter and I are working on a story together that I started when she was two years old.

So far, my Vocal friends seem to like it.