: A Journey into the Unknown"

Revised Version:

Lesson Learned: The Final Evaluation

If there's one lesson I've taken away from this extraordinary experience, it's to approach everything with skepticism. This holds particularly true when it comes to matters of the afterlife, as all the popular notions are entirely off the mark.

Example #1:

Many individuals who have had near-death encounters often describe being drawn towards a radiant light. Perhaps these people believe that a moment as significant as death necessitates a grand spectacle, akin to the floodlights illuminating the premiere of a blockbuster movie. However, the lights I encountered resembled more humble emergency path lighting, guiding me towards a review board.

Example #2:

We've all heard the tales of Saint Peter and the Pearly Gates. Supposedly, Peter hovers in mid-air behind a floating podium, meticulously reviewing a comprehensive list of both good and bad deeds to decide whether one is deserving of entry. Personally, I never laid eyes on the man. Instead, the path lights led me to a conference room in a library. In the center stood a long table adorned with chairs and two trays, one labeled "IN" and the other "OUT." The "IN" tray was overflowing with stacks of forms, requiring triplicate completion before I could progress on my journey. Once my eyes adjusted to the surroundings, I realized the walls were transparent, enabling me to observe others in identical rooms, toiling over their own piles of paperwork. Some stacks were taller than mine, while others were shorter. I deduced that the height corresponded to the duration of each person's life. Perhaps this was purgatory, and I would remain here until the bureaucratic tasks were fulfilled.

Example #3:

Legend has it that heaven resounds with angelic Cherubs creating glorious melodies. While that may be true, in my cubicle, it's been an incessant stream of Muzak.

I can't ascertain how long it took to complete my stack of forms in triplicate, for time no longer holds meaning in this realm. Nevertheless, I persevered and accomplished the task. Shortly after depositing the final sheet in the "OUT" tray, three individuals entered the room and took the seats opposite me. One of them possessed cloven hoofs, sprouting horns, and a serpentine tongue that incessantly flickered. Next to him sat a relatively ordinary-looking man with a long white beard. To his right, a being with wings, a radiant halo, and an aura of serenity graced his presence. The bearded gentleman clarified that he was the moderator, and his companions were present to question me based on the completed forms. The panel would review my responses and, based on my answers, determine where I would spend the remainder of eternity. The questioning commenced, and the stack in the "OUT" tray gradually diminished. It felt like an eon had passed as each question was posed and answered.

During the interrogation, I detected a shift in my inquisitors' demeanor. Their hostile attitude transformed into an almost amiable disposition. Suddenly, the three rose abruptly from their chairs and exited the room, evidently retiring to deliberate my fate. After an extended duration, the trio reentered, resumed their seats, and the moderator proceeded to elucidate my situation.

Remarkably, my "final review" deemed me qualified for residence in either realm, leaving the decision of my eternal abode entirely in my hands. "Neither!" I promptly responded, catching them off guard and rendering them momentarily speechless.

Finally, the moderator regained composure and spoke, "Sir, I don't believe you comprehend. You must choose one or the other. No one has ever departed uncommitted. You would wander aimlessly through the cosmos for eternity."

"I understand," I calmly replied. "As far