7 Repeatedly Proven Jaw-Dropping Magical Techniques To Apply When Dealing With People

There are over 7 billion people on earth including you, which have different desires and interests. Different faces, characters and much more. To ignore this is to ignore the world itself. So you, being one of over 7 billion people must learn how to deal with the people you meet daily. Because life gets boring without people around us, and we can't do most things without other people.

Your ability and knowledge in handling people  - your effect on people -  determine their effects on you. Just as Owen D. Young once said.

''People who can put themselves in the place of other people, who can understand the working of their minds, need never worry about what the future has in store for them.''

Now let’s take an amazing surf through each magical techniques smoothly.

1. Criticism: know How And When To Criticise

Over the years, psychologists have discovered that people don't criticise themselves for anything. If people don't criticise themselves, why should you? By criticising, we do not cause any heartened positive change to anyone. But put them on the defensive (trying to explain and justify the reason they did what they did). Criticism is bad in that it can kill a person's dreams, hurts their feeling of importance, and arouse grievance.

That being said, never criticise a person based on an action they took you do not understand. Just as you think you know what right to do in certain cases, they also think they do. So try to be modest, don't give them a feeling of condemnation. Respect their perspective, just as you would like someone else to respect yours.

Moreover, when dealing with people. We should remember that we're dealing with creatures of emotions, creatures just like ourselves. Instead of criticising, we should try to understand, and look at this from their point of view.

''I will speak ill of no man and speak all the good I know of everybody.'' Benjamin Franklin.

So next time you are faced with a situation worthy of criticism. Try to understand, find out why they did what they did, forgive and react positively. That's better than criticism.

In addition, know how to criticise stylishly, harmlessly, yet effectively. When you criticise start with the other person's ability to do better -try honestly to see one- praise their past successes. And make sure it doesn't make the person feel condemned, but make them feel motivated. keyphrase, never condemn people. In this way, they are more confident to adapt to change.

2. You Want It, I Want It, Hey Presto, Every Body Wants It

Everything a person does springs from their desires. You can't force a person to do something for you gracefully unless they want to do it. The fact is, when a person's desire(s) are assured to be gratified, then they will often do things gracefully for you. John Dewey once said.

''The deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important.''

This desire placed a role in building your character. It makes you hate and try to stay away from those who intimidate you, it made you love the person you love. This desire caused civilisation itself. It makes you want to add some more of yourself (creativity) to the world as our ancestors did. It makes you want to look good, and want to use the latest styles.

There are often three things that grant people this desire...

i. Appreciation

Sincere appreciation grants people a large piece of their desire to be important. But sometimes people are often denied this desire. Man in all his pride craves to be appreciated. You also love to be appreciated, don’t you? Yep? Then don't act like you don't. Give someone a piece of what they want and they’ll like you more. You most certainly would want to spend time with someone who makes you feel important.

ii. Compliment

Everyone loves to be remarked on how wonderful they or their work looks. It makes them feel important, Like ''AM ALIVE'' it makes them feel alive. Suppose I walked to you and said ''Nice shoes you got on''. It makes you feel good like the shoes were made by you (financially they actually were). And you would probably put them on the side of your favourites. So why not apply the same trick in family and business. Sincerely compliment your employees on their work well done, your boss on his achievements, your kids and many others.

iii. Respect

Show respect to who deserves your respect. Respect makes a person know how much they are worth to you. And a person will only give you more worth when you give them much. Every human got a right whether child or adult.

Respect it don't hurt their feeling of importance-and they'll do the same. By showing respect to other people you become respectful. Yeah, I mean full (Get your smart ass to the point. Respect-full).

When dealing with people, sincerely praise every slight improvement (compliment). Respect their methods/efforts (show respect) and give sincere, hearty appreciation (Appreciate).

3. All People Want Their Desires Granted, As You Do.

When dealing with people, understand that you are dealing with creatures of different interests and desires. Creatures who care more about themselves than anyone else. Creatures who want to be granted and relieve of their desires, just like you.

Everything you have ever done right from childhood springs out of your desires. You won't like to take any action that you don't want. Think of it this way, when you go to catch monkeys, you don’t fill the cage with your favourite dish. Rather you think of the monkey's favourite, what he wants. The same strategy applies to humans.

If you are on a job interview, instead of telling the interviewers your desires. Why don't you tell them about their desires and how you can grant them. Instead of telling your child about the negative habit, you don't want in him. Why don't you tell him of the disastrous thing that habit is going to cost him, that he doesn't want. Henry Ford once said.

"If there are any secrets of success, it lies in the ability to get the other people's point of view and see them from that angle and from your own.''

In combination, evoke in the other person an aspiration to be granted their desires, while indirectly connecting to yours.

4. Don’t Argue: Gaining Victory Without A Fight

Almost 96% 0f arguments ends with each opponent firmly convinced that they are right. Now if I score 96 at a chemistry test, I'll testify, you might too.

If both opponents are firmly convinced that they are right, then what's the point of the argument. Imagine two people, with the ability to reason and sort things out. Picking on each other angrily, creating a rather uncomfortable scene, instead of a blissful one.

''You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument; but as far as changing the other person's mind is concerned, you will probably just be as futile as you were wrong''. Dale Carnegie, his best-selling-selling book ''How To Win Friend And Influence People.''

Arguments always get a person justifying their points. They arouse a person's pride and their voice, and in that process, he/she learns to hate you.

Most salespeople often argue with customers instead of viewing things from the customer's angle. What will you do if you were in their shoes (Not their actual shoes, cause I know if you were in my actual shoes, you fainted a long time; my socks sticks. And am not the only one with sticky socks, am I? Yep, am not alone, I got my people keeping the sticky socks squad alive.). Answer that question sincerely, and figure out how to put the situation right. As Ben Franklin used to say.

''If you argue, rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes, but it will be an empty victory because you'll never get your opponents good will.''

Instead of arguing and yelling at each other, why don't you

i. Control your temper: keep calm, say nothing harsh.

ii. Accept there is a disagreement between you.

iii. Listen first and process through your opponent's words.

iv. Be honest: look for areas of agreement.

v. Thank your opponent sincerely and give both opponent time to think further.

Because an argument defies reasoning between both parties. And when reasoning dies, it only causes noise and hot air.

5. Create An Agreeable scene

People will only spend time on what they are interested in. The subjects they like to talk, read, watch, and think about the most. You may spend both time and money on real estates, because you love to beautify your society and create comfortable environments for people. You are thereby interested and sworn into real estates.

You need to know that people, all have different interests. Just as you might be interested in real estates, the other might be interested in robotics. Therefore talking about real estates will certainly not create an agreeable scene between you.

When dealing with people, you need to know about the person's interests. While you can't talk about what you don't know-it'll be nonsense talk-you need to find what the person is interested in. Then widen your knowledge on the subject.

When a person's interests seems also to be the other's, an agreeable scene is created and love flows automatically. Dale Carnegie once remarked in his best-selling book. '' How To Win Friends And Influence People.'' As what every leader knows.

''... The royal road to a person's heart is to talk about what he treasures the most.''

If you ever want to get along with someone or need a favour-want them to use your products, a job, or something else from them. Try this.

6. Let The Other Person's Self Express

Every person on earth -as long as they possess a mouth- loves to talk. All you need to do is hit them on their interests, then listen attentively. Or be a responsible person and ask them to tell you about their worries, lifting a weight of them.

There are so many ways to express yourself. Talking is one of them, and a person can't keep on talking to themselves (it’ll look darn weird). They need a sympathetic listener. Even if you apply the 5th technique, you would have to learn to be a good listener.

Because it was in their interest first. Also making a person share with you deeply about their interests, catches their enthusiasm and makes them remember more fascinating points on why they are so deeply interested in it -whatsoever they're interested in- meanwhile giving you all the credits.

When dealing with people, let the other person express themselves, be a patient, interesting listener. As Henry James once recalled.

''Dr. Elliot's listening was not just mere silence but a form of activity. Sitting very erect on the edge of his spine with his hands joined in his lap, making no movement except that he revolved his thumbs around each other faster or slower, he faced his interlocutor and seem to be hearing with his eyes as well as his ears. He listened with his mind and attentively considered what you had to say while you said it. …at the end of the interview the person who had talked to him felt like he had had his say.''

7. If You like It, Then Do It First

If you want something done to you on earth, then you have to do the same to others. It's the golden rule.

''Do unto others what you will like them to do to you.''

So when you want a person to make you feel you're Important. You'll have to hit the start button, make them feel important first. If you want to be loved, then learn to love likewise. Because the only way to be loved by others is to show love to them.

In the same way, if you don't like a thing to be done to you, then try honestly, not to do it to others. If you approach someone in a grim mood and say harsh words. Am sure they can tune in a foul mood real fast too, and return those words to you, giving you a counter-attack. Therefore, you can't expect a person you hate to love you. So if you don't want a person to hate you, then don't hate them.

Furthermore, when dealing with people, we should try as much as we can to think about our actions, before we act. How would you want someone to react, if you made a mistake on something? How would you love someone to approach or treat you. That'll make you feel comfortable in return, and try to practise that on other people? This technique is actually easy because you're also human.

Conclusion

When dealing with people, we should remember that we too are humans. And remember how much we would love others to give us this treatment, then try it on someone else. It'll always pay good to you -they’ll benefit you, as well as the other person. When you try it on someone else, they'll see the positivity. And you’ll be loved, and exalted, because of your positive impact on people.

Good luck as you apply these techniques to authentic life.