7 Reasons to Spend More Time Alone

Sometimes it feels like we spend most of our lives looking for ways to avoid being alone. We make friends. We look for a partner. Some people even have children to avoid being alone.

Is this a good plan, though? What if, despite our best efforts, we find ourselves being alone most of the time?

A couple years ago, I found myself in exactly that spot. My husband passed away. I bought a house 10 miles from my friends and family. I stopped working to write full time. And my kids lived five hours away from me.

On top of that, we were in the midst of a pandemic and for large periods of time my province was on lock-down. I stayed home and the only person I was seeing was my mom.

It hit me hard. Being alone sucked.

I knew nothing was going to change anytime soon though. Rules have loosened up in my province but they go back and forth. They get looser and tighter. We're just about to go back a few steps after having a couple weeks of freedom.

Know that I could be alone for the vast majority of the next few months, I had two choices. I could cry about it (literally, and I did do some of that) or I could learn how to love being alone.

Why should I bother learning to spend more time alone though? It would all come back to normal eventually - wouldn't it? Sure. Likely. Maybe.

Besides the possibility of being forced into seclusion, there are some very good reasons to learn to enjoy being alone.

#1 You find pleasure in old hobbies - and new ones

Hobbies are things you enjoy doing and finding pleasure in life is always a good thing, right? You might like drawing or writing or reading or anything, really.

For me it is journalling and my planners. I love sitting down and just writing my thoughts out. Sometimes it is very personal. Other times I'm writing down observations or even taking notes on a podcast that I really enjoyed.

They don't have to have any major purpose other than pure enjoyment.

#2 You spend more time in reflection

Have you ever done something and then later asked yourself, "Why did I do that?" or "Why did I react that way?"

The problem is that when we are so busy doing things and spending time with other people, we don't have time to reflect on questions like that, so we never get answers. When you actually take the time to think about the answers to those questions, you get to know yourself better and sometimes, you can change your behaviors, your reactions, and your feelings about certain events.

Knowing why you think, feel, and react certain ways can help you moderate yourself better.

#3 You could develop a side-hustle

Ever thought how nice it would be to make a little extra money to put aside for vacations, renovating the house, or even just buying yourself something you don't need?

Side-hustles are great for that. You can write, create graphics, narrate books, create crafts, among other things.

When you learn to enjoy being alone, you suddenly have a lot of time to create. And you can make money off of what you create.

#4 You feel stronger and more independent

If you learn to enjoy being alone, you'll start feeling stronger. You'll realize that you don't have to depend on other people to satisfy your needs. Maybe you've never fixed anything in the house before. Suddenly, you realize that you're capable of fixing things. Sure, you have to watch fifteen YouTube videos first and you make some mistakes along the way - but you did it!

When you are comfortable being alone, it can be an incredibly satisfying feeling.

#5 You can focus on yourself

When you spend time alone, suddenly you are the only one that you need to think about. You don't need to try to keep other people happy. You just have to keep you happy.

#6 You won't look to others for validation

You'll learn to provide the validation you need for yourself, instead. You'll start hearing that inner voice and you might even have conversations with it. That inner voice - your gut or your instincts - will get louder and you'll listen to it more. You'll find a new BFF from within yourself.

#7 You'll have better relationships

Friendships, family relationships, work relationships and even romantic partners will see the change in you. Most of them will like it. Some won't, but you likely didn't really need those people in your life.

As you develop a stronger sense of self and a greater independence, you will develop stronger relationships with those around you.

Society tends to look at people who enjoy being alone as strange. They call us loners. They say we are weird.

Being alone makes you a stronger person though. You'll find that you're happier more often and that you make decisions easier. If you enjoy being alone, you'll enjoy being with people even more.