5 Habits That Will Strengthen Your Relationship

The lockdown has pushed many couples to their limits and caused many breakups. I had my share of the moments with my partner — especially when we had to be house-bound nearly 24/7.

There was nowhere to go — to seek excitement. Nowhere to go — to clear my head. Sometimes I was frightened — will we make it?

But somehow, the lockdown has actually brought us closer.

Like any crisis, the lockdown tested our relationship. The foundation that your relationship is built on is ether strong, or not.

We’ve made it.

Looking back now, I am certain that we have worked hard every single day to build resilience as a couple, as if we knew, that one day we will be tested.

With Valentine’s Day approaching, many may think of teddy bears, perfumes and lots of chocolate, but perhaps it’s time you also think about fostering something much more important — resilience in your relationships.

Here are five habits that have helped me strengthen my bond with my partner.

1. Always Look Into The Future

Resilient couples are characterized by an ability to experience both negative and positive emotions even in difficult situations. They endure frustrations, but they also find value in most challenges.

When crisis strikes, it is important not to have all of your emotions turn negative.

Try to find a silver lining even in the worst of circumstances.

Hardships can bring out the worst in partners. In the spur of the moment you can say things you regret or act impulsively. Often it’s because you are stuck in the pain of the past, which prevents you from moving forward.

If you have a mental list of every time you have been hurt by your partner and tend to recite it from time to time — then you are not getting anywhere.

Strong couples don’t dwell on past. Let the past stay in the past. Strong couples walk hand in hand towards the future.

If you truly wish to work on your resilience, then it’s essential to get rid of any past resentments and focus energy on ways to move the relationship forward rather than looking backward.

2. Look For Solutions

Strong couples don’t only share their responsibilities and dreams — they share commitment in finding the best way forward.

Life is full of unexpected issues — nobody promised us life would be smooth sailing. We are all humans and we make mistakes.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of victimhood and blame your partner for hardships. Sometimes justified — but never right.

Truly resilient couples face problems together.

You should not focus your energy on who and why is responsible for the issue, but rather share commitment to find and implement a solution.

Be it a broken microwave or a financial overstep — if one of you has a problem then both of you have a problem.

3. Prioritize Your Relationship

Strong couples prioritize each other.

Making your relationship priority means showing your partner you want to make them happy and will make an effort to do so, and you care about them.

Check in with your partner frequently throughout the day. Take time to know and care about each others thoughts and feelings. Schedule time just for the two of you. Make an unspoken pact such as

Our relationship comes first before my need to be right.

When a partner starts to complain about something, don’t be be defensive; instead try your best to see where they are coming from and understand what you need to do to rectify your mistake.

This doesn’t mean that you are giving in to your partner, but rather just being a reasonable adult who shouldn’t mind some accountability.

Resilient couples treat each other with the utmost respect, sensitivity, and courtesy. Prioritizing your partner means that you create a space for them where they feel safe.

Think of your relationship almost like another party — it’s You, Your Partner and Your Relationship.

You nurture it, and give it attention it requires.

4.Change

Strong couples welcome change. The relationship can’t mature if both of you aren’t open to change bad habits and willing to grow. When things between you remain stagnant for too long, it doesn’t bode well for your future together.

Changing yourself is good for a relationship — in fact, often it’s absolutely necessary.

Relationships are based on compromise because there is no such thing as a perfect fit between people. There are some almost-there and pretty close fits. But you’re never going to find someone who just so happens to fit perfectly.

There will be awkward angles and sharp edges between you and your partner that have to be pared so that you can fit together as a strong unit.

Many of these changes will happen naturally throughout your relationship — others will be harder adjustments, transitions that require a lot of work from both of you.

Be willing to put in the hard work.

5. Practice Gratitude

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never gone home and complained about how much my partner loves me.

Words are powerful. Words can strengthen or destroy relationships, they can win or lose business deals, they can bring families together or tear them apart.

In strong relationships, partners appreciate each other’s efforts.

Try making the effort to show your appreciation for your partner — not once or twice — but everyday. Displaying gratitude shows your partner that you don’t take them for granted, as well as serve as a reminder of the special place they hold in your world.

We all wish to be appreciated, and doing so can strengthen your relationship overall.

Words of appreciations are great, diamonds even better, but truly strong relationships are celebrated with love, patience, determination and integrity.

Resilience is like a muscle — it is there from the very beginning but it does not grow and get stronger unless you train it and strengthen it. It takes frequent practice of new habits to cope better with challenges and crises in the relationship.

And it takes two.