5 Easy Relationship Tests

Maybe you've been dating around, and someone special has just caught your eye. Or maybe you and your brand new partner are blissfully enjoying the "Honeymoon Phase." You two could be settling into the relationship together, getting comfortable and looking to either continue as you are indefinitely, or perhaps escalate to your "next steps."

You know for certain you like this person. A lot. They make you smile. You want to do this whole relationship thing right, and you know that means making sure the two of you are really compatible.

You'll have to work out a fair amount of things in discussion. Do one or both of you have any "deal breakers?" Do you two want the same "next steps," if any--cohabitation, marriage, joint pet ownership, child rearing? Do you have compatible spiritual lives and moral compasses? Open and honest communication is key, but this article isn't really about that.

This article is about five activities you can do with your partner which will reveal important facets of compatibility. These normal, innocuous events can help you two explore each other's deeper natures. You can test your dynamic and even have some fun.

1. Cooperative Play

In the first relationship test, you and your partner team up for a game. It's got to be something you know is fun, or at least something you've been wanting to try.

Some possible choices include:

• Co-op video games like Super Mario 3D World, Secret of Mana, Borderlands
• Co-op board games like Pandemic, Forbidden Desert, Mysterium, Spirit Island
• An escape room
• Assembling a complex Lego set or a puzzle together
• Playing a sport as a team

Your cooperative play will give you a preview of how the two of you will solve problems together. Does one person take definitive charge? Are you both so obliging that no one takes the lead? Do you butt heads? Do you talk through your strategies as equal partners?

Most importantly: how did playing together make you both feel? If one or both of you feels dissatisfied and annoyed by your joint problem-solving when the stakes are so low, you may wind up feeling hurt when the stakes are higher.

Ideally, you two will have fun and feel good about your teamwork.

2. Competitive Play

You and your partner go toe-to-toe in the next relationship test. As in the first test, the activity you two choose is supposed to be enjoyable. Here are some options you might like:

• Versus video games like Mario Kart, Mortal Kombat, Halo
• Versus board games like Chess, Splendor, Tokaido
• Paintball
• Darts
• Corn Hole
• Playing a sport against each other

Your friendly competition can foreshadow how the two of you will handle conflict. Does playful trash talk escalate to stinging barbs? Do you feel obliged to cheat yourself so they will win, or vice-versa? How does the winner handle victory? How does the loser weather defeat?

After you've experienced a playful struggle for supremacy, you can consider how you and your partner will manage a more meaningful conflict. Do you like who you are when competing against them? Are you comfortable with how they treated you? How would you two feel if the conflict had been more intense, with important consequences?

Hopefully, the two of you would have both had fun while playing against each other. If your competition was an unpleasant experience, it's definitely worth asking yourself why.

3. Taking a Trip

In the third relationship test, you and your partner travel somewhere. It doesn't have to be an expensive multi-night vacation. The goal is to see how the two of you work together as you navigate the frustrations, uncertainties, and unexpected setbacks that always occur when planning a trip. A few suggestions to inspire your planning:

• Navigate public transportation in a city neither of you have ever lived in
• Go camping
• Take a day trip to a touristy location a few hours' drive away
• Go to a busy local event (like a food truck festival, Shakespeare in the Park, or holiday light parade) a few towns over
• Walk to the attractions in your own city as if you're a tourist
• Fly to Hawaii for a week and take me with you (haha just kidding! Unless…?)

No matter how well you plan your outing, something will probably go wrong. Trains run late. Objects get forgotten at home or lost somewhere. Roadwork causes long detours. A fun adventure can get bogged down in anxiety and anger.

How do you two feel about each other's ability to cope with these obstacles? Does your partner empathize with your feelings? Do they annoy you with the way they express themselves? Do you fixate on getting the trip over with, or are you pleased to spend this time together?

Of course, it is possible that you two will have a perfect outing where nothing goes wrong. Hooray for a fun couples adventure! Now you can run the test again with another fun trip.

4. Visiting Someone Vulnerable

Somewhere in your or your partner's social circles, there is probably a person who requires care. They could be an elderly neighbor, a cousin with special needs, a friend's toddler, a colleague with a broken bone--anyone important to you who needs patience, empathy, and/or support. Spend some time with this person together.

Mahatma Gandhi said, "The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members." This relationship test reveals how you and your partner personally react to vulnerable people, and if your individual reactions are compatible with each other.

Was your partner as bored as you were? Were you comfortable with the level of polite attention they gave? Did they impress you with their genuine kindness? Did you two enjoy the visit more or less equally?

When you've thought that through, it may be a good idea to project the results on vulnerability in your relationship. If you were to get very ill, would your partner provide the level of care you would want from them? If your partner were suddenly badly injured, would you be comfortable giving them the level of support they would want?

If you and your partner somehow manage to have zero particularly vulnerable people in your lives, you can still benefit from this relationship test. Volunteering together can give you a good look at whether your levels of patience and empathy are compatible. No matter where you are, there is bound to be a local domestic violence shelter, a Humane Society, or a food bank that could use a couple of extra pairs of hands.

5. Challenge Yourselves Together

In the fifth relationship test, you and your partner undergo a physical challenge together. If you're both extremely athletic, go ahead and set up a Witcher-style obstacle course in your backyard. You could find a rock climbing gym, take a hike, enjoy a biking tour, or even help a friend move. If you're both typically sedentary, a walk in a park should do the trick. The important thing is that you're both safe and active together.

In this matter, compatibility doesn't necessarily mean, "You're equally fit." Engaging in a physical challenge together clues you each into the other's ideas about exercise and self-maintenance.

If your partner is sweating, panting, and dragging behind, do you resent slowing down to their speed? If your partner could run circles around you while you both engage in the activity together, do they seem impatient with you? Do they attempt to tell you that you "should'' change? Are you tempted to try to "fix" them? Are you both having fun? How do you two feel about any disparities you find in your levels of activity?

Green Flags

If these relationship tests resulted in arguments and resentment, it's worth exploring why. Not all red flags signify disaster, but they're worth looking into.

By that same token, positive results from these tests do not guarantee a compatible match. It's impossible to cram every important facet of a human being's personality into five simple activities. However, these tests show each of you a decent cross-section of the other's priorities and values. If you're feeling good about your results, then you've got some green flags signaling potential success.