5 Behaviors That Create Disconnection in Your Relationships

I grew up during a time when you had to pay for minutes just to be able to make a phone call, or you had to wait until 7 p.m. for “free minutes”. Then came the wave of “unlimited talk and text.” It was an exciting time and we were thrilled to be able to talk to our friends all day and night!

What actually happened is the complete opposite.

In an era where technology connects us more than ever, a paradox emerges: many people feel increasingly disconnected. Despite having the ability to communicate instantly with anyone around the globe, a sense of isolation and loneliness has take over our lives.

This post will explore five key reasons why humans are feeling disconnected, offering both online and offline strategies to bridge these gaps, reconnect, and foster meaningful relationships.

Why are humans feeling disconnected?

The modern world is bustling with advancements that promise to bring us closer together. However, studies show that over 61% of adults in the United States report feeling lonely. This statistic highlights a growing epidemic of human disconnection, which has profound implications for our mental health and societal interactions. Understanding why this is happening and how we can counteract it is crucial for nurturing personal well-being and community harmony.

Here are 5 behaviors that are creating disconnection in our relationships.

1. We Rely on Digital Communication Too Much

Digital communication tools, like social media and messaging apps, have dramatically changed how we interact. While they offer convenience, they can lack the depth and nuance of face-to-face interactions, leading to superficial connections.

Tips for you to try on:

• Use text messaging and DM’s as a gateway to setting up a video or voice call, instead of using it as 2the only method of communication.

Use video calls for more personal interactions rather than text messages. Hearing someone’s voice and seeing their face and body language creates a stronger sense of emotional connection as opposed to text messages which limit engagement.

• Limit social media usage to designated times of the day.

Aimlessly scrolling on social media early in the day, and for long periods of time throughout the day can create mental overstimulation. By the end of the day, you very likely won’t have the desire nor the energy to connect with people in real life, so you choose not to initiate communication.

Sample Scenario:

Consider Sarah, who realized her friendships were primarily maintained through Facebook. She decided to set up weekly video calls with her friends, allowing her to overcome the feeling of human disconnection and foster deeper relationships.

2. Limited or No Face-to-Face Interactions

As we increasingly prioritize digital interactions, face-to-face meet-ups have drastically declined. Brunch culture and nightlife offer the opportunity to socialize, but it lacks the intimacy of one-on-one interactions. This shift can lead to feelings of isolation and a lack of meaningful human connection.

Tips For You To Try On:

• Schedule regular “coffee dates” with friends or family.
• Participate in local community events to meet new people.
• Pick up a new hobby that requires human connection such as dance classes, work-out classes, DIY craft making workshops and other group activities

Sample Scenario:

Janelle noticed she felt more energized after meeting friends in person rather than chatting online, prompting her to organize monthly get-togethers.

3. Our Lifestyles Are Too Busy and We Overcommitment

Modern life often leaves little room for genuine connection due to packed schedules and numerous commitments. As a result, relationships can become neglected.

Tips For You to Try On:

• Prioritize tasks and make time for important relationships.

Set deadlines for your tasks to help you determine what’s urgent versus what’s important. This strategy will help you see the flexibility in your schedule, allowing you to squeeze in drinks with friends or a bite to eat and catch up with loved ones.

• Practice saying no to commitments that don't align with your values.

Be realistic about your capacity to take on new tasks. Pay attention to how your body responds when deciding whether or not you want to commit. If you feel excited or intrigued, lean into that. If you automatically feel heavy and hesitant about it, honor that as well.

This practice will slowly help you change the behavior that creates disconnection in relationships.

4. Lack of Emotional Expression

Most people struggle to express their feelings and emotions, leading to misunderstandings and weakened bonds. A lack of emotional openness can prevent the formation of deep connections, and even ruin relationships that have taken time to establish.

Tips For You To Try On:

• Practice active listening and encourage open dialogue about feelings.

Get comfortable with having uncomfortable conversations. Think about the relationship you have with the person you’re experiencing conflict with. If you truly value them and don’t want things to get worse, express how you feel to them. It’s likely they’ve been feeling the same way and struggle to initiate the conversation. Being vulnerable feels scary, but can help you keep relationships with the people you love and avoid disconnection.

• Attend workshops, take online courses or read books on emotional intelligence and communication.

This leads me to the 5th behavior that creates disconnection in our relationships.

5. The “Cut-Off” Culture

Social media has romanticized the concept of “cutting people off” which I believe is singlehandedly causing mass human disconnection.

We’re being fed the idea that if someone says or does something we don’t like, we don’t have to tolerate it and should eliminate them from our lives. This is a circumstantial tactic that is being sold as a universal law. We’ve gotten away from conflict resolution and choose avoidance and self-righteousness instead.

We’re treating each-other like we’re disposable and then wonder why we feel so disconnected.

Tips For You To Try On:

As mentioned in number 4, the lack of emotional expression is directly linked to people opting to “cut-off” instead of communicate. Increasing your emotional intelligence will increase your confidence and ability to have those hard conversations with your loved ones and break unhealthy generational practices.

In Conclusion

If we change our habits, we can change the behaviors that cause disconnection in our relationships.

While technology and modern lifestyles present challenges to human connection, understanding the causes of disconnection empowers us to take action. By implementing both online and offline strategies, we can nurture deeper relationships and foster a sense of belonging.

Let’s get back to being human; let’s stay connected!