4 Steps to Stop Being Socially Awkward

Hello! I'm Rahul Sanaodwala, the founder of StriWears. Welcome to My Stories, a platform where aspiring entrepreneurs get inspired by the journeys of successful founders and learn the secrets to building thriving businesses.

Today, we're diving into a topic that many of us struggle with but don't often talk about: social awkwardness. Whether it's tripping over your words, misreading social cues, or just feeling like you're not quite fitting in, we've all been there. But the good news? You don't have to stay stuck in that awkwardness forever. In this story, we'll break down four simple yet effective steps to help you stop being socially awkward and start building better connections. So, let's get started and take the first step toward confidence and ease in social settings!

1. Accepting the Inevitable

Awkwardness is a part of life—there's just no way around it. No matter how confident, driven, or sociable you are, you’ll still face your fair share of awkward moments. You might accidentally miss a handshake (oops!), wave at someone who’s not waving at you (oh-oh!), or tell a joke that no one laughs at (mm-hmm).

These moments are uncomfortable and annoying, but they’re inevitable. Accepting that inevitability is your first step toward becoming less socially awkward.

In other words, you can own your awkwardness to create less of it. Yeah, I know it sounds backward, but let me explain. Most people aren’t socially awkward because they’re doing awkward things—they just think they are.

They're hyper-aware of every potentially awkward thing they do. However, it’s actually their reaction that makes others uncomfortable.

Even though awkwardness is inevitable, there are ways to turn a weird moment into a fun one. For example, let’s say you’re telling a story about something dumb you did at work. You get a few laughs but then notice an extended silence afterward.

If you’re socially awkward, you might assume the worst. You take that awkward silence as a sign that you have terrible social skills. Then, you start thinking you're not funny. You assume no one likes you and blow the awkward moment so far out of proportion that you can never recover.

Because you’re scared of making things awkward again, you play it safe. You stop acting like yourself. Ironically, your fear of awkwardness ends up ruining your chances of connecting with people around you.

But here's the truth: Social awkwardness isn’t some unique disease that only you suffer from. It isn’t a strange feeling that no one has ever experienced before.

No decent person is going to dislike you for making things awkward because they’ve done the same thing plenty of times themselves. Who hasn’t held the door open for someone too far away or said, “Thanks, you too!” when their waiter said, “Enjoy your meal”?

These goofy moments often turn into funny stories, but only if you react the right way.

2. Consistent Activity

Many socially awkward people spend too much time in their own heads. They overthink every word they say and analyze every little thing people do. They go back and forth wondering if they’ve made a new friend or ruined everything.

These mental gymnastics distract you from the most important part of being social: forming bonds.

For instance, say a new friend tells you a story about hiking in the mountains. Were you actually listening, or were you too busy trying to think of something cool to say when they finished?

Often, people try so hard to control their awkwardness that they fail to connect with others. By sharing a personal story, the other person was trying to connect with you. This was a perfect opportunity to reciprocate, but you missed it because you were too focused on yourself.

The solution? Be present. Put your phone away and engage in the conversation. Show interest by agreeing, sharing a related story, or asking for more details.

Staying active in conversations is one of the best ways to form genuine connections.

3. The Spotlight Effect

If you’re socially awkward, you might think people pay more attention to you than they actually do. You feel like you’re constantly under a spotlight, with everyone scrutinizing your every move.

This is a common psychological phenomenon called the spotlight effect. Since you overanalyze yourself, you assume others are doing the same.

For example, imagine spilling a drink on your pants. You immediately decide you look ridiculous and spend the whole night trying to cover it up. The reality? Most people won’t notice or care.

Everyone has their own insecurities and worries. That girl next to you might be paranoid about a rip in her sleeve, while the guy in the corner might be hiding a mole on his arm.

The point is: No one obsesses over what you do as much as you think. So, don’t let insecurity hold you back.

4. Social Tag-Teaming

Even if you’re comfortable being social, it can still be hard to meet new people. Starting a conversation is often the most intimidating part.

This is where an outgoing teammate comes in handy. Bring someone who can handle the awkward introductions, giving you a chance to join in once the conversation gets interesting.

For example, you might chime in with a funny comment or ask a follow-up question. This gives people something to relate to right away.

But don’t let your teammate do all the talking! Use this technique to learn, but eventually, tackle introductions on your own. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

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