4 Steps to Stop Being a Controlling Person
Losing control does not make you weak.
Let’s say you can’t wait to throw an epic birthday party for a loved one. If you spend the time dissecting every movement of all of your movements and those of others, straining yourself so heavily that it breaks when a single detail is out of place, it won’t be difficult to destroy the joy of the occasion.
If this sounds like you, you may be a “control freak.” A control freak is defined as someone who is determined to make things happen exactly the way they want and who tries to get others to do what they want.
While control can certainly be a symptom of something serious, most people who participate in meticulous planning and scheduling can seek comfort amid the chaos. And it is very understandable.
But suppose you find yourself unable to relax, and that stiffness is interfering with your everyday happiness (and relationships). In that case, it may be time to take steps to free yourself from your inner control maniac.
Most people try to grab onto control when life falls out of control. They become angry, depressed, anxious. They lash out at others when they can’t control the negativity they are facing.
The key is to stop controlling is to recognize your feelings and needs before that of others. Remember you’re not responsible for how other people feel.
Being controlling is an ingrained habit that is difficult to change, but if you’re ready to change, let’s take a look at some strategies to help you lose control.
Evaluate your actions
Most controlling people believe they are helping others to a point they deny their own needs. Sit down and ask yourself, “Is my help causing positive or negative changes?” “Are my pretending to help just to be seen as a good person?” “What is the worst that can happen if I don’t help?”
These questions will help you figure out your true intentions for helping people. When you are too controlling, you deny people the ability to think for themselves. This can be exhausting and lead to stress and anxiety.
Trust yourself and others
Control freaks feel secured when they can predict the outcome of any situation. They forget that life is full of uncertainties. It’s impossible to control what you have no control of (which is life).
You get upset when things don’t go as planned. You become frustrated when people don’t act as you expect them to. These feelings can build resentment by creating a negative cycle.
You need to learn to trust yourself and others. You should stop assuming that people are constantly criticizing you behind your back. Always remind yourself that people want to be around you because they love and care about you and that nobody expects you to take care of everything.
Practice optimism
Most control freaks always focus on the negative side of any situation. To avoid tragedies, they make a list of what to do step by step. They make sure everything is under their control because they are afraid no one can do it better.
A shift in mindset is a great start to lose control. Pay attention to the way you think and recognize when you are treading the lines of negative mental habits. With practice, you can train your brain to think differently.
For example, take 10 seconds every day to appreciate and comment on the good experience that happened to you. When a colleague mentions their achievement, say things like, “That’s great.” “I’m happy for you.” The more you soak in the positive experiences, the more you erase the negative ones.
Make a list of your boundaries
Whenever you start worrying about something, ask yourself, “what is the worst that can happen if I don’t get involved?”
Control freaks are driven by fear. Make a list of the worst things that could probably happen. Going through your list, identify the scenarios you can control and does you can’t.
Most time, you will notice that these consequences are not life-threatening, and the rest are beyond your control, so why do you waste your energy worrying over them.
With the consequences you can avoid, having a clear picture of what to do will help you focus on the actions needed and also take your mind off the final outcome.
Letting go of the final outcome may de difficult to do for control freaks, but by practicing optimism, you raise your consciousness and become mindful of your thoughts.
First appeared on Medium.
If you enjoyed reading this story, sign up for my newsletter so you don't miss my next post.
About the Creator
Jessey Anthony
Jessey is a travel addict, freelance content writer and fitness coach. Check out more from me at: https://bit.ly/3j0Lm9Z
Keep reading
More stories from Jessey Anthony and writers in Humans and other communities.
Los Angeles Billionaire Moves to Nevada After California Threatens to Tax Wealth
When a prominent Los Angeles billionaire quietly packed up and moved to Nevada, it wasn’t just a personal lifestyle change — it was a political statement. The move came shortly after California lawmakers revived proposals to tax extreme wealth, targeting the state’s richest residents as a way to fund public services and address inequality. Now, that single relocation has become a symbol in a much larger debate: Do wealth taxes strengthen states — or drive their most valuable taxpayers away? The Trigger: California’s Wealth Tax Proposal California has long wrestled with how to fund its ambitious social programs while addressing widening income inequality. In recent years, progressive lawmakers have floated proposals to introduce a wealth tax, aimed at individuals with net worths above a certain threshold — often tens or hundreds of millions of dollars. Unlike income taxes, which apply to yearly earnings, wealth taxes target accumulated assets such as stocks, real estate, and business holdings. Supporters argue that this approach ensures the ultra-rich contribute a fairer share to public infrastructure, education, and housing. Critics, however, warn that wealth taxes are difficult to enforce and easy to avoid, especially in a mobile economy where residency can shift across state lines. The Los Angeles billionaire’s move appears to validate those concerns. Why Nevada? Nevada has become a magnet for wealthy individuals — and the reasons are straightforward. The state has: No personal income tax No capital gains tax Business-friendly regulations A growing financial and tech services sector For high-net-worth individuals, relocating to Nevada can mean saving millions of dollars annually. For someone facing the possibility of a wealth tax layered on top of California’s already high income taxes, the financial incentive is hard to ignore. In this case, the billionaire reportedly established legal residency in Nevada, purchased property, and shifted business operations — all steps that tax experts say are increasingly common among ultra-wealthy Californians. A Broader Trend, Not an Isolated Case This move is far from unique. Over the past decade, California has seen a steady outflow of wealthy residents to states like Nevada, Texas, Florida, and Arizona. While climate, housing costs, and lifestyle play roles, tax policy has become a central factor. High-profile departures — from tech executives to hedge fund managers — often spark political backlash. Critics argue that the wealthy are abandoning the state that helped them succeed. Defenders counter that states should not penalize success to fund unsustainable spending. The Los Angeles billionaire’s relocation has once again brought this tension into the spotlight. The Political Reaction in California California lawmakers defending the wealth tax proposal insist that fear of capital flight is exaggerated. They argue that the state’s economic advantages — including access to talent, innovation hubs, and cultural influence — outweigh tax concerns for most entrepreneurs. Some lawmakers also point out that California already relies heavily on its highest earners, with a small percentage of taxpayers contributing a large share of total revenue. In their view, asking the ultra-rich to contribute more is not radical — it’s necessary. Opponents, however, see the billionaire’s move as a warning sign. They argue that when even a single wealthy individual leaves, the state can lose not only tax revenue but also investment, philanthropy, and job creation. What This Means for State Finances The departure of one billionaire may not immediately dent California’s massive budget, but the long-term implications are harder to ignore. Wealthy individuals often: Pay a disproportionate share of state taxes Fund startups and venture capital Support universities, museums, and nonprofits If enough high-net-worth residents follow the same path, critics warn, the tax base could shrink faster than lawmakers expect. Supporters of the wealth tax counter that public investment funded by higher taxes could improve quality of life for millions — potentially attracting new residents and businesses in the long run. A National Debate Over Wealth and Mobility This story extends beyond California. Across the U.S., states are competing for residents — especially wealthy ones. Tax policy has become one of the most powerful tools in that competition. While progressive states push for redistribution, low-tax states market themselves as havens for capital. The Los Angeles billionaire’s move underscores a key reality of modern economics: wealth is increasingly mobile. Assets can move digitally, businesses can relocate headquarters, and individuals can change residency with relative ease. This mobility complicates efforts to tax extreme wealth at the state level, fueling calls for federal solutions instead. The Ethical Divide At the heart of the controversy lies a philosophical question: Should wealthy individuals feel a moral obligation to remain and pay higher taxes in the states that enabled their success — or are they justified in seeking the most favorable financial environment? Supporters of wealth taxes argue that extreme inequality threatens social stability and that those who benefit most from the system should help sustain it. Opponents argue that punitive taxation discourages innovation and rewards capital flight, ultimately harming the very communities lawmakers aim to help. The billionaire’s move doesn’t settle the debate — but it sharpens it. What Happens Next? California’s wealth tax proposals are still evolving, and it remains unclear whether a final version will pass. Even if enacted, legal challenges and enforcement hurdles loom large. Meanwhile, states like Nevada are likely to continue benefiting from California’s policy uncertainty, attracting wealthy residents and businesses seeking predictability. For policymakers, the challenge is balancing fairness, revenue needs, and competitiveness in a system where borders are increasingly porous. Final Thoughts The Los Angeles billionaire’s move to Nevada is more than a headline — it’s a case study in how tax policy shapes behavior. It highlights the difficulty of taxing wealth at the state level and the unintended consequences that can follow even well-intentioned reforms. As California debates its economic future, one thing is clear: in a mobile, interconnected economy, policy decisions don’t just redistribute wealth — they redirect it. Whether wealth taxes become a solution or a cautionary tale will depend on how lawmakers respond to the signals already being sent.
By Muhammad Hassana day ago in Humans
Comments
There are no comments for this story
Be the first to respond and start the conversation.