4 Hours

Sup peoples, welcome back, thank you for your interest. Alight let's see what to talk about today? Well in correlation to my two previous entries I think I know where I'll go to next.

So this part takes place when Wendy and I had broken up for the second time, and it was during this time that we had still been on speaking terms I believe, I had been trying my hardest to get back together with her during this time period and she knew this because I had blatantly told her. Meanwhile she was talking to a guy named Jason, as she's talking to me she's also talking to him, but I was unaware of this guy being a factor in anything and she tells me that there was a chance that she'd go back out with me, my heart jumped, I was all excited, and she ended up going out with Jacob instead, remember my heart that jumped? Well that jump was off of a cliff complete with jagged rocks at the bottom, I was torn in bits and pieces. Let me tell you a little but about Jason, Jason has a car, he has a job, but most of all he has 'my girl', and did I mention that he had a car? So already he is able to do things for her that I can't, like pick her up and actually go out on a date, and buy her gifts, basically whatever and whenever she may have wanted. Anywho while Evelyn is going out with this guy guess where I am? I'm sitting at home everyday talking to her on the phone and you know what I get to hear? Stories of their dates, isn't that wonderful? The one thing you want to hear from an ex that you never wanted to breakup with in the first place is telling you how great their new relationship without you is going isn't it? Or is that just me? No? Just me? Well damn.. But it's alright, there were the occasional mishaps which I'm not going to lie I kind of relished those moments because let's face it, I'm in love with this woman, and I wanted to be the one with her. However whenever I heard those stories of sadness I always cheered her up and against my jealous/better judgement I told her that everything was going to be ok and that she just needed to give it time, now my friends all thought I was crazy for sticking by her all that time, but in the end it was worth it, but that's a diff story for a diff time. Oh right I should probably mention that Jason is a horn dog, and in my opinion, only wanted Wendy so he could fcuk her (pardon my French), which was pretty much confirmed when she kept spurning his advances and he decided to cheat on her with his ex. Yes he cheated on her! Can you believe that? Most likely for the entirety of their relationship I believe. So yeah there's that part, and when she found out via the ex girlfriend of Jason of course she dumped his stupid ass..I don't see why or how you could cheat on a woman, especially one as beautiful as my Wendy. a couple of weeks go bye and school starts up again, (it was summer vacation before) ((btw during all of that I was still going out of my way to do things for her, like gifts and shyit..)) so were hanging out like normal people, and again I'm going ham trying to get back with her, telling her how I feel (not really, didn't wanna come on too strong) but still point is that she knew I what I was doing and why I was at school...other than having to go to school. 2 more people decide to pop up into my equation thus making it quadratic (see what I did there? Haha) *erhm hmm* back to what I was saying. There are two other guys that start hitting on 'my girl', and what sucked most is that she told me that she wasn't going to get back together with her...and that was another tear of my heart. Anywho these two guys Cj and Mark, they both have cars, and Cj has a job. And again I'm still talking to her in the phone everyday so she tells me that she found out that two guys have a crush on her, and me being the creepy love struck guy that I was, already knew who they were before she even finished her sentence to tell me. So again it's great to hear something like this everyday, it doesn't eat away at your heart at all, not in the slightest. So one of the days yet were talking and that try are talking to her, she tells me that she's not going to go out with either of them, obviously that made me feel very relieved to hear and again my heart jumps, but even higher this time around it practically starts to fly. And the next day I come to school happy, and she comes in as well, so it's breakfast and and of course we all hang out in our groups by the basketball courts behind the gym, and I overhear Wendy talk to a good friend of mine who's name is Eric. Eric previously had been talking to me because he knew that Wendy and I had been going out, and that she broke up with me, he asks me how I'm holding up, I tell him, then he proceeds to tell me that he's rooting for us to get back together, anywho Eric and Wendy are talking about her, how she's been, and what's going on in her life, and then I hear the distinct word(s) of 'boyfriend' and 'go out with' pop up and my ears auto lock onto their conversation, I hear nothing else other than their discussion in that present moment. Now mind you this is early in the morning and school hasn't even started yet. After this distinct words I hear her say something along the lines of "oh yes, there were two guys that I know that liked me here, and I've been talking to them both, but I've already made my decision as to what in going to do..-" now I'm sitting there recalling what she literally just told me the night before about her not going out with either of the two, when she says "-..Im going to choose to go out with mark" and right there, that moment, my flying soaring heart got shot down an came crashing to the ground like a bird during the open season. I literally couldn't take what I just heard, my head instinctively jerked toward their direction, I corrected myself, stood up and walked away...I walked all the way home from school at that very moment, 4.5miles of me fighting back the tears I had, and oppressing the thoughts in my head, and it all came crashing down on me like 3tons of brick as soon as I stepped in my bredroom and shut the door. I balled my eyes out, I have literally never cried so much and so hard and felt so much pain in my life, actually let me rephrase so you better understand, I don't cry, the times I have cried have been from physical pain when I would get spanked by my mom or whatever, I've never cried over something that was emotional, I've seen family members die whom I loved very much and not a single tear has been she'd for them.. However in this case, over the woman that I love so dearly, that words just cannot describe, I cried for four hours, four hours of nonstop crying! Not jut crying, weeping, trembling, aching, I was in the fetal position for at least an hour and a half while crying. And then after I was 'done' I went back to school, because I can't skip the whole day or I would've been in some big trouble, luckily I didn't see her or mark, I I'd have seen her I would've broken down again, especially if I had seen them together, I was already still on the verge of crying again, if I'd have even heard her beautiful name again I would've shut down...and that was the end of that oh so terrible happening.

. I hope to never have to go through that again. And that's something that I wouldn't even wish upon my worst enemy