Breaking.

Alright so to continue...let's see I have been in and out of a relationship with the same girl (Wendy) going on 3 times now, what can I say, I am hopelessly in love with her. As I have stated previously before, not all of these blogs are going to the happiest stories you'll hear, these are of my life experiences, starting with my relationship(s) then of course I'll branch off into other things but for now this is it. So myself and Wendy have been going out for maybe 4-5 months, and everything wasn't exactly the best, but I wasn't sure what to expect of my first relationship, this was her 3rd..4th? Doesn't matter so much other then she knew what she wanted and how she wanted it. Let me also state that these previous boyfriends that she has had before me were kind of assholes, and hurt her emotionally, as well as psychologically. I guess it kind of goes without saying that things that happened in the past have been reflected on me, not necessarily on purpose, but that meant that whenever I made a mistake no matter how minor the severity was increased tenfold if it was something one of her previous boyfriends had done which I believe is normal. Another thing about Evelyn is that she is very emotionally driven, far more emotional than any other person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. There are things that would've been semi ok but with her emotions and past relationships anything that would've been easily forgiven or overlooked was just put into the spotlight, and it sucked. It took me a while but I got used to it, her emotions that is, the triggers to those emotions I was still learning, so there were times that I didn't know what would or wouldn't cause a fallout. Anyhow that's the way things went, we had good days, and some bad, the good outweighed the bad but that didn't matter, either way it ended and when it did it sucked. Why did it end? Well I made a bunch of mistakes, there were times when I couldn't hang out with her like I said I would due to family situations, and by the time those things were over it was too late to do anything with her, but I would be able to hang out with friends because they have no restrictions on such things/times. The problem is she felt that I was lying to her about those situations and abandoning time to spend with her just to spend it with my friends instead. There were things like that is what led to the first breakup. Then we got back together within a month, which then lasted a month and when it ended that time...I was devastated. The month that we were broken up I tried my hardest to convince her her to try again, I fought tooth and nail to regain her, I did everything I could possibly think of. I literally wanted to die in all honesty nothing prepared me for the pain that I felt and I just wanted it to end, don't get me wrong the first breakup was extremely painful too, but it was the buildup of being back together with the girl that I fell in love with tumbling down that just led to a spiral tragedy of nothing but pain and sorrow. I had the worst thoughts I've ever had in my life, it was the worst time I've ever had in my life, the worst day(s) of my life. And it only really got worse from there...I'll let you know about that in the next one.

Until the Next One, Later