11 Steps to Rebuilding Trust in Broken Relationships

Let's face it, there are other things besides traffic in Lagos that might make you feel stuck and irritated. Even the strongest relationships can have bumps on the road that erode the basis of trust. Rebuilding trust may be difficult—whether it's because of a whispered secret, a broken promise, or a thoughtless error. It might be like trying to cross the Third Mainland Bridge without a map. But do not worry, tired traveller! Reviving your relationship has a road plan that is paved with empathy, candour, and a lot of (strong) coffee.

Step 1: recognise the crack in the asphalt. Yes, the elephant in the Lagos living room won't go away if you ignore it. Openly discuss the matter that caused the trust to be destroyed, avoiding accusing language and utilising "I" expressions. Recall that comprehending is more important than placing blame.

Step 2: Stop, look around, and inhale deeply. Apply the brakes before you go into a blame game that moves quicker than Danfo on the Eko Bridge. Give yourselves time to work with the circumstance and the feelings it evokes. Whatever soothes you—breathe, meditate, pick up a plate of eba—will do.

Step 3: Accept accountability for your part in the collapse. Acknowledging your participation, whether it was through a direct action or a lost chance, fosters mutual understanding and demonstrates accountability.

Step 4: Listen Like a Lagosian Waiting for Rain. Hear your partner out, without interrupting or hijacking the conversation. Active listening, with eye contact and genuine interest, builds bridges where apologies alone can't reach.

Step 5: Apologize Like You Mean It. A heartfelt apology, specific to the hurt caused, is more valuable than all the suya on Marina. Express remorse, acknowledge the pain you inflicted, and show a genuine desire to do better.

Step 6: Show, Don't Tell. Words are like Keke promises – easily made, easily broken. Rebuild trust through concrete actions. Be dependable, keep promises, and demonstrate a commitment to change. Remember, consistency is the pepper that seasons forgiveness.

Step 7: Really and really forgive yourself. lugging a bag of agbalumo on a hot day is similar to lugging around self-blame; it's dirty and heavy. Acknowledge your errors, draw lessons from them, and treat yourself with care going ahead.

Step 8: Even when Danfo drivers aren't, patience is essential. Rebuilding trust is not a quick fix, but an endurance race. Setbacks might occur, but keep your focus on the finish line while celebrating the little successes along the way. Progress will be slow.

Step 9: Speak Like You're Placing a Pepper Soup Order. The foundation of any relationship is honest and open communication. Discuss your wants, desires, and expectations. Remember that the flavour of trust broth comes from straightforward communication.

Step 10: Limitations: Your Individual Eko Bridge Charge. To safeguard the relationship and yourself, establish sound limits. This might include setting boundaries for communication, cutting off contact with specific individuals, or just saying "no" when your emotional reserves are low.

Step 11: Don't Just Celebrate the Arrival. Enjoy the Journey. Rebuilding trust is a collaborative journey that has its share of hiccups and turns. Give yourself some time to reflect on the progress you've made, the lessons you've learned, and the closer relationship that results from sharing vulnerability.

Remember, Lagos isn't built in a day, and neither is a strong, trusting relationship. With patience, effort, and a little dose of Nigerian resilience, you can navigate the potholes, rebuild the bridges, and emerge stronger than ever. So go forth, dear Lagosian, and mend those connections! The reward, like a perfectly grilled bole, is worth the effort.