Things You Can't Say six

Vet visits. When it comes right down to it, I never realized just how humiliating they can be. For the pet at least. I’ve never thought that a routine physical could be so invasive. The way that he’s groping makes me shudder. Despite how hard that I tried not to I do. Which he tries to soothe by giving soft little hums and strokes my side. But there is no way in Hell that I’m allowing him to calm me down as he touches me. It just makes me tremble harder as I stand on the exam table. Keeping my hands steady as I can when he looks down at me like I’m some scared child. Soft pats on my hips as he tries to keep me from doing something stupid.

Like jumping down from the damn exam table. Not that I was thinking about doing that as I’m afraid of harming myself. The thing is too high for me to even think about jumping down from like a cat. So, I just allow him to slip the muzzle off me and set it to the side. It felt good but he does something that makes it way less enjoyable. He grasps my chin tightly in his hand and opens it with the other. Forcing me to open my mouth wide enough so that he can have a good look inside. It feels kind of painful when he does that. So much so that it takes everything in me to not bite him. Or try to growl at him as I glare at his obnoxious face. He lets go as he stated,”Good. Her teeth are in decent shape despite how long you said she was on the street for.”

“In fact, I’m certain that we won’t even need to pull any of them. They’re in that good of shape.”,Dr. Draper informs. These fuckers were thinking about pulling my teeth if they were bad? They were even talking about me before Master caught me. The very idea that Master watched me for so long scared me. Even if I was sure of it before. A shiver ran down my spine as I stood there on the table. Unable to do much as Master strokes my back to calm me down. In a curious tone, Master questions,”But those dental implants that I asked you about? Don’t they need to be pulled for that?”

“Well, I suppose that they would be. But are you sure that you would want that for her?”,Dr. Draper asked. It sounded like he wanted to be kind to me. Or at least some messed up version of kindness. Though if he were truly on my side then he would be calling the police and helping me. Instead of asking Master or Bradley or whatever his name is if he wanted to have my teeth yanked out. There would never be that kind of questioning if he were a decent man. But I suppose I’m really asking for too much fright now as I look between them. Master answered,”Oh, absolutely. I want her to look as feline like as we can get her.”

“Just fixing her teeth at the very least.”,he added. Along with the prosthetics that he wants me to have. Which makes me wonder why the Hell this bothers Dr. Draper in the slightest bit. Paw prosthetics on a kidnapped woman. Yeah, that’s fine. Teeth being yanked out? That’s where he draws the line? I look at his young face as I thought it over. Trying to understand his thinking. Why was someone like him even going along with this whole horrible mess for. Just what in the world was he helping Master keep me and turn me into his pet for?

Did he do that to the guy outside, too?

“Okay. So, do you want her to have paw prosthetics along with new teeth? After the hysterectomy I mean?”,Dr. Draper questioned. Something that disturbed me a little bit as I stared at Master. Watching him nod his head with a big grin plastered on his face. Like it was a simple request you would make of anyone. To mutilate someone else without care in the world. Master answered,”Yeah, Dr. Draper. I appreciate you doing this for me. At least doing this for me next month.”

With that, Dr. Draper smiled as he nodded his head. Fucker. I wish I could scream at him. But knowing my luck Master will probably punish me if I insult his dear friend. Or whatever the Hell he considers this annoying asshole. Whatever they are to each other, I don’t really give a damn. All I care about is the way that Dr. Draper can easily carry me to a scale that was on another exam table. Setting me on it as he turned it on. A few seconds later, he takes me off and puts me back where he had me. Pulling out a pen and paper from his jacket pocket. Writing down a few numbers on it. For the most part I am interested to know what it is. At the same time, I don’t want to know what it means. Either way I find out as Dr. Draper informs,”Alright. Your girl is a healthy weight for her size. She is one hundred and ten pounds.”

“Princess here is very lucky considering her time as a stray.”,he added. In an annoying tone of voice that almost made me want to hurl on his ugly shoes. He petted me from the top of my head to the middle of my back. In long and gentle strokes. Murmuring nonsense that makes me want to bite him. He cooed,”Yes, you are. Yes, you are. You’re one very lucky little lady.”

“Oh, thank goodness. I was kind of worried since I can feel her ribs.”,Master admitted. That made me pause as I sat there and stared down at myself. As I hadn’t realized that my ribs could be felt at all. Then again, I can’t recall a time that I properly paid attention to my body like this. Mostly because I didn’t really want to look at my own body in any capacity. As I had bigger things to be worried about. He continued,”So, would it be a bad idea to keep her exercising through play? Or is that okay?”

“I want to make sure that I’m not overexerting her or getting her sicker.”,Master explained. It felt weird having someone express worry about my health. I can’t really remember a time when anyone cared enough about me. Even if it’s in this kind of way. I’m not even sure what kind of way this is. But all I know is that it’s utterly fucked up. Pushing those thoughts down I froze when Master’s hands grasp both of my paws. Hands. They’re hands, not paws. The fact that my mind was now referring to them as paws terrified me. But what was worse was getting a glimpse of something in Dr. Draper’s hands. It was a thermometer. One that I was pretty sure went into a place that I didn’t want it to be. Tearing up, I stared at Master. Sniffling as I pleaded soflty,”Master…please…no…”

“Shh, baby. It’s necessary. I promise that it’ll be over quickly.”,Master assures. Keeping his voice gentle to try and sooth me. It wasn’t working. My pulse quickened as I felt the stupid tail plug being pulled out of me. Only to be quickly replaced with a long and thin object being pushed into me. Without lube I might add. Something that I wasn’t sure that he was allowed to do to humans. Though I guess animals don’t need it? I’m damn sure that animals do need it. But I’m not able to call this out or anything at all. All I can do is cry, whimper, and shiver as if the thing is inside of me.

It was worse than I thought it would be. Then again, I don’t think I’ve ever thought about rectal thermometers. Ever. At any rate I try to stop whimpering and crying. The tears that were streaming down my face as Master keeps me still. Gently whispering nonsense words that were slowly helping me. In a low voice, he murmurs,”Shh…it’s okay, baby. It’s okay. I promise that it’s almost over.”

“It’s just a little longer than Dr. Draper is going to be taking it out.”,he added. Keeping my paws pinned as he leaned over me. His lips nearly touch my ear as he says this to me in a soothing tone. Which was really helping as after a few seconds the thermometer was finally taken out of me. Slowly, I started to breathe normally as Master let go of my paws to start stroking my back. Keeping me calm as he possibly can. While I started to get back to a calmer state, he looked at Dr. Draper as he stated,”Such a cute little Drama Queen she is.”

“Yes but at least she’s a healthy one.”,Dr. Draper agreed. In a tone that made me want to bite a chunk out of him. Shove him to the ground and just beat the shit out of him. Along with Master. Both made me hate them so damn much right now. Master’s attitude really disgusted me as Dr. Draper pushed my tail plug back in. The guy didn’t even put lube on that either! A low growl came out of me as he patted my lower back. Trying to scratch him afterward and let out a low hiss. Feeling like the idiotic animal that they were seeing me as. This didn’t even make him flinch back. All it did was make him chuckle as he reached over and patted my head as well. Then Dr. Draper chuckled,”Alright. Our little Princess here is in perfect health and top physical condition.”

“No abnormalities or anything to even remotely be concerned with.”,he added. In a way that made Master puff his chest out with pride. A smile came to his face as he nodded his head. Almost like Master knew that I was in good health or something. Master asked,”So does that mean that all of the surgeries will be going as planned?”

“Of course it does. Now please keep her steady again.”,Dr. Draper answered. And I was too wrapped up with thoughts of people being mutilated to understand why. Then I spotted the black case he had and froze. Unsure of what the Hell it was at first. Just a strange black bag that he had in his hands. When Master pinned me down to the exam table did I have an idea of why. That had to have needles in it. Why in Hell did he have needles for? I was healthy! He said that I was healthy!

I couldn’t stop shaking and crying as I whimpered. Begging and pleading for him not to use the needles on me. Whatever the Hell was in them, I didn’t deserve to get pricked by any of them. Dr. Draper didn’t really pay me much attention as he sets the bag down. Getting everything ready for what he was about to do. It was going to happen no matter what. There really was no way out of this for me. Tears streamed more down my face as Master softly apologizes,”I’m so sorry baby. I know this is scary, but it’ll be over before you know it.”

“This is necessary to keep you healthy baby girl.”,he added. In a tone of voice that was meant to be soothing. It was sort of working but my heart was pounding so hard that it almost hurt. Tears ran down my cheeks as I tried not to watch him press one tip of the needle into my side. But God did it hurt. All I could do was whine and mewl pathetically. Thinking in the back of my mind how many times this man has done this to other unfortunate people.

Just how many people are doomed to this nasty lifestyle.

Biting back whimpers, I pressed my cheek to the metal exam table. Doing everything that I could to ignore the round of shots I was being given. Though my brain wasn’t allowing me to distract myself that easily. In fact, it seemed to be lingering on the pain that Dr. Draper gave me for some reason. Like that was really going to be helping me in the long run at all. There wasn’t a way for me to stop him. Nor was there any way that I can stop my thoughts at the moment. So, I just let my whole body go limp as Dr. Draper injects me with more of whatever the Hell it is. As I can’t remember all the shots that I was supposed to be getting over the years. Or really wanted to. All I know is that I’m getting tired from this whole situation. Despite not doing much. I was just…I just felt so done. While I lay there on the exam table, Master gently petted me. Telling me a bunch of soothing nonsense that isn’t of interest to me. Carefully he picks me up from the table as he rests my head on his shoulder. Forgetting the whole muzzle as he does so. Softly, Master compliments,”Such a good girl, Princess. Master is proud his little lady did such a good job. You’re so good for the vet. Yes, you are kitty.”

“Yes, you are. You’re a good kitty-kitty.”,he added. There was an odd amount of pride that I felt when he said this. Something that I had never wanted to experience the entire time that I was with him. Along with general tiredness as I lay limply in his arms. Staring at a wall with a picture of a cat-girl. One that I’m not even sure is willingly a cat-girl or not. But she looks like she is. If that big grin on her face wasn’t evident enough. Master questions,”So next month is the hysterectomy. Is there anything that I should be buying for her ahead of time?”

“I would recommend getting her pain killers and plenty of fluids.”,he answered. Then he went on to tell him about the various things I would need. Like rest and to not lifting anything above a certain weight. That I probably would be more comfortable on a regular human bed. Instead of the large dog bed that he was having me sleep on. Something that surprised me that he knew already. Did Master tell him about that when I wasn’t paying attention? Or am I not the only person that he has ever done this to? The idea of that would have made me shudder. If I wasn’t so damn tired, I would be giving more of a damn about this. But for now, this is going to be my future self’s issue to deal with. As I am much too tired to even begin to think this over. For now, I’m just being a giant useless lump in my Master’s arms. Somehow being a useless lump in his arms is just so much easier to deal with than being human.

I don’t even want to understand why.

All I want is to just lay here while they talk about me. Barely paying either of them much mind as they spoke together. It was a bunch of stuff that I didn’t really care for much. About the way that Master held me so close. One hand petting my back to keep me calm as Dr. Draper stated,”Now, I would recommend letting her get a little rest before doing anything else today.”

“She’s still getting used to being this way. And she might be sore from the shots as well.”,he added. Which of fucking course I’m sore from all the damn shots. Who wouldn’t be sore from all that shit? If I was counting correctly there had to be at least seven shots done to me in less than a few minutes. Which was something that I didn’t think was to be allowed at all. As I was sure that this kind of thing wasn’t healthy for someone. But what the Hell do I know? I’m not a doctor or whatever the Hell you want to consider Dr. Draper. At any rate he’s not ethical.

The fact that he isn’t helping me is strong enough. At any rate, I’m just grateful that I don’t have to wear a muzzle. Seems that Master realizes that I’m too tired to try and scream. Or bite. Or anything else right now. Aside from the obvious lie in his arms as he walks with me to the van. Gently settled me down on the passenger-side. Buckling me in before getting to his side of the van. It was good. Laying here without that damned muzzle on me felt better than before. Slowly, I find myself falling asleep long before he starts the car. Turning on some music as we pull out of this parking lot. A part of me wondered what the Hell that dog-guy was like. Or if he was in a similar situation to me or not. While I started to drift off, I ‘awoke’ to find myself elsewhere. It looked like a normal hotel room that I had once gotten to stay in when things were better. About ten or maybe fifteen years ago when I was in my teens.

The bed was soft from what I remember it being. A little bigger than it as well. Though that could be just my mind trying to recall what it was like. Not what it was like. And I didn’t let myself overthink it as I sat up in this bed. Standing a few seconds afterward. Walking around the room to get a better view of it. There was a t.v, a small nightstand, and a dresser that the T.V was sitting on. It had on some musical that I couldn’t remember in the slightest bit. But I know that I had at one point liked it. Maybe even made some fanfiction of it. For the life of me, I can’t remember what it was. Not that it matters right now. What matters is the limited time I get to stand as a human being. While I walk around the room I head over to the door of it. Opening it to get out and head into the hallway. That was the plan at the very least.

Unfortunately, my dream had other ideas. As I found myself seeing the room once more instead of a hallway. Somehow this was puzzling for me as I stared around the room and saw that other door. Without any hesitation, I ran to that door and hoped that it would open into the hallway. Which it didn’t. All it did was open to another damn version of the room I had left. Each time that’s all I would be seeing. More of the same room that I had left not that long ago. My stomach twisted as I stared around the room. This couldn’t be the only thing I would be getting.

The only chance at ‘freedom’ being taken from me.

Yet each time that I opened the door, I saw that. And the only thing that I saw was that damn room. I thought I would be more afraid. Scared that I was trapped in a never-ending maze of this damned room. That I was never going to be free of this room. No matter what I tried. Somehow, I didn’t find myself getting scared. All I found myself getting was more and more angry. I am frustrated that I was trapped in this never-ending Hellhole of a hotel room from my past. One that I was just starting to get fed up with seeing. Sighing, I just found myself giving up and sitting down on that large bed. That might be too large than it had been in the past. While I sat there, I debated on whether I should give up or not. It wasn’t like I wanted to. But this whole thing felt like the worst nightmare that I had ever had in the past few years. Holding my head in my hands I tried to give up on the whole thing. Give up on getting away.

But a part of me wanted to keep trying. To run through the damned rooms to try to find a proper way out for myself. Despite just how hopeless this whole thing seems to me. It…it was the only way out. This had to be it.

I had a gut feeling about it.

Just as I was thinking of standing up once more, I heard a familiar noise. One that I’ve heard quite a few times. The sound of a key turned in the lock. Turning my head, I froze as I saw the door slowly open. Revealing Master walking in from…from nowhere. There was nothing behind him as he walked into the room. Shutting and locking the door behind himself as he held a brown bag. One that looked to be heavy as he walked with it to the bed. Setting the stuff down, he asks,”Aww, Princess. Were you bored without your Master? I bet you were.”

“Well, don’t worry. Master has new fun toys and cuter gear for you to wear.”,he added. Pulling out the overly large cat toys. Ones that I probably own but didn’t play with much the other night. Though I can’t be sure unless I get another look at them. Not even sure if I really want another look at them. But instead of saying anything about it I just glanced at what else he had in the bag. As Master had mentioned the word ‘gear’. And it made me worried about what that could possibly be. What kind of ‘gear’ would he mean? When I tried to glance in, he pulled out the gear. A cat ear headband with a long cat tail. Which was a soft brown color. Along with new leg restraints and paw mittens. They were both the same color as the headband and tail. Setting them down, Master informed,”Soon as we get you into these we’ll go downstairs for the convention.”

“You’re going to make so many friends and have so much fun.”,he added. A strange sweetness to his tone. Like he was excited to go to this damned ‘convention’. But I fucking wasn’t. Standing up, I ran to the window that was in the room. Threw it open as quickly as I could. Grateful that this monster didn’t come after me. This was a trick that I learned from when I was younger. If I ‘killed’ myself in my nightmares or dreams, I wake up. This time isn’t any different. Launching myself headfirst out of it and waking up on Master’s lap as I jolted a little bit. He petted my back slowly as he continued to watch whatever the Hell he was watching. A cartoon that surprisingly wasn’t anime or perverted for once. When I focused on it, I fully realized that it was just ‘Spongebob’. Something that I wasn’t expecting a giant perv like him to watch. But it was kind of good. At any rate I lay across his lap as I started to more thoroughly wake up.

When I was more alert, I smelled something that had my mouth watering. It was the delightful aroma of pizza. Looking around I found a cold slice of it on that damn table near the chair. God, I was so tempted to just reach over and pull it into my mouth. I wish that I had some ability to grab it. Instead, I just leaned in to snag it with my teeth. Nearly snagging it as my stomach started to growl. Unfortunately, there was a tugging on my collar as Master realizes that I’m awake. Doing that annoying ‘tsk’ at me as he pulled me into a sitting position. Smirking at me as he has me turn to look at him. Gently, he scolds,”Naughty, naughty. Princess you’re not supposed to eat from Master’s plate.”

“You’re only supposed to be eating from your bowl. You know that.”,he chuckled. Gently petting my side as, he stared into my eyes. Tilting his head to the side as he did so. And I felt slightly annoyed at his words. Wanting to smack him for preventing me from just being allowed to eat what I wanted. When I wanted. As I was practically starving as I sat in Master’s lap. He then added,”But, Master might let it slide this one time if you ask him properly.”

That threw me for a loop. How in Hell does he want me to beg for his pizza? Just how do you beg for food like a pet? For a few seconds, I tried to think of what a normal cat would do in this situation. Just pawing at his arm and mewling wouldn’t work. Wouldn’t it? So, I just reach over with my p-hands carefully as I rested them on his arm. Gently patting the arm that was closest to me. A tiny grin on my face as I made my eyes go wide while staring up at him. Softly, I pleaded,”Please, Master? Can’t Princess have just a little of your pizza? Please? She’ll be a good girl.”

“She’ll be a really good girl if you let her?”,I added. Figuring that talking in the third person might do something. I wasn’t entirely sure if this was what he wanted or not. But it really didn’t hurt to try. I tried my best to act like a sweet little kitten as I stared at him. In a gentle voice, I added,”Please?”

I really, really wanted that damned cold pizza. Even if it was just one damned slice. I just needed it a lot. One slice might not be enough for the rest of the night. But it would be good enough for now. Pleading with my eyes, I tried to paw at his arm a little firmer. To get him to give me that slice of pizza. Just anything to get him to give me that. Please, Bradley. Just please give me that slice of pizza. Please. I can’t just keep degrading myself for a slice of cold pizza. Or any other scraps of food that he might eat. Will I have to do this for the rest of my life? Just begging this asshole for scraps and other shit? My whole life is going to be acting like a mindless animal.

And I’m terrified to find out if that’s really what I got to ‘live’ for. As I really don’t want to know why I’m not messed up by this. Maybe I can find out about it when I’m away from this shithole. Him being behind bars in some prison. Rotting like the piece of shit that he is.

“Hmm…alright, Princess. Pretty good for a first time.”,he stated. His tone of voice was so aggravating. And I wanted so much to punch out his annoying teeth as he said this. Instead, I kept my composure as I smiled at him. Pawing his arm gently for that cold slice of pizza. He brings it over from that small table and holds it up to me as I smile. Grateful for the chance to get any food in my stomach at all. Immediately I nibbled at an edge of it as Master chuckles. Letting go of my collar to pet my head as I tried to get my teeth around the pizza properly. He complimented,”This is one of the reasons why I’m allowing you to have this. Along with how much of a good girl you were at the vet.”

“Also, the way you hissed at that girl and her puppy-boy today.”,he added. It made my face blush at the memory. God, I was being a freak, and he was praising that. Praising how I had felt so…so weird…I can’t describe how I was feeling looking back on it. Other than disgusted by him. Maybe disgusted by her as well? I’m not sure. And I don’t really care as I glanced up at him. Smiling as I stated,”Thank you, Master. Princess appreciates the food and your compliments.”

Strangely I really did find myself grateful for those weird compliments. If you can, consider this bullshit ‘compliments’. Whatever, I’m just grateful that he isn’t taking the pizza away from me. And I won’t be giving him a reason to do so. Master chuckled as he stated,”You’re so very welcome, Princess.”

“Master loves you so, so very much.”,he added. I froze for a moment as I didn’t know what to say to that. It was something that I didn’t feel just yet. I was sure that he knew that I didn’t feel that just yet. And I stared down at the pizza that was in front of me. As I feared that I wouldn’t be allowed to eat if it I didn’t say that back. Hurriedly I started scarfing the cold pizza as fast as I could. Making sure that he couldn’t take the slice away from me as I practically swallowed it whole. Having a hard time eating the thing as it was awkward on that paper plate. And it hurt when I swallowed. But I managed it the best that I could and panted softly. When Master put the paper plate back on that table, he patted my head gently. Looking down at me with more concern than anyone had shown me in years. Gently, he asked,”Hey, are you alright Princess? You ate that slice of pizza so fast. Did you hurt yourself?”

“…no…I just…I thought that you were going to keep the pizza slice away from me.”,I answered. Not using the whole dumb third person thing. As I was too scared to even begin to speak like that right now. Looking up at him, I was terrified he would get mad. Push me off his lap and hurt me. Unsure of what he’ll do as a ‘punishment’ but I’m damn sure it won’t be pleasant. God, do I feel like an idiot for this. Master questions,”Now why in the world would I do that, Baby?”

“Well, I didn’t say ‘I love you’ back, Master. And I was scared that you were going to be upset with me.”,I answered. Hearing myself say this out loud strangely felt silly. Like I was an idiot for thinking that Master would punish me like that. But I couldn’t help how I was feeling about this. He could possibly take my food from me at any time. And there wouldn’t be any way for me to stop him. There would be no way for me to stop anything that he wanted to do to me. I couldn’t stop trembling as he started to gently pet me. Gently, he sighed as he pulled me close to himself.

“No, shhh….shhh…baby I would never be upset with you for not saying ‘I love you’ or take your food from you.”,he assured. It was a lot more reassuring than I thought it was going to be. And I found myself relaxing in his grasp as I stared at him. When his hand runs through my tresses, I lean into it. Unable to stop myself as he does this. Looking me in the eyes, Master continued,”Remember what I said last night? You don’t need to tell me ‘I love you’ back.”

“Not until you’re ready to do so. And that can be weeks or even months from now.”,he added. As if that really was a reassurance. That he wasn’t going to rush me into saying it back to him. But somehow. Somehow it really felt like one. At least I know that I wasn’t expected to say it anytime soon. And he scratches behind my ear as he kisses my temple. My actual ear. Not that stupid ear headband that he makes me wear all the damned time. It really helped with an itch that I hadn’t realized I had. Sighing, I looked up into his face as I felt so…relieved?

I guess it is a good thing he’s so patient. Even if it feels like the other shoe is about to drop at any moment. I’m just grateful that Master isn’t going to hurt me or punish me for not being a better pet. While he pours affection on me, I sigh with relief. Looking me in the eye as I stated,”Thank you, Master.”

“You’re welcome, Princess.”,Master assured. Rubbing my back more as he smiled down at me. It was odd but I was grateful for it. Sighing, I just leaned more into his touch. My eyelids are half closed as I do so. Never had I felt so calm in such a long time. He continued,”Master would never want to scare his precious baby girl. Not ever. He would never want her to think he would starve her.”

But he is scaring me. He has been technically scaring me this whole damn time. I guess he hasn’t fully realized that. And I doubt telling him that is going to lead to anything good at all. So, I keep my mouth shut as he strokes my back gently. That feeling of complete calm washing over me as I sat there. It was something that I never anticipated feeling good about ever. When was the last time I felt safe? Or felt secure at all? When I thought about that I couldn’t fully remember a time that I had. At a time that I had even begun to feel good about anything at all. Then I glanced down at my hands and remembered just how bad this situation is. Just how bad it is going to get. And try to keep myself focused on escaping this Hellhole. Because if I don’t find a solution soon, I’ll lose my uterus. Then my hands and feet and maybe some teeth. And God I don’t want to look more like a cat than I already do right now.

I shouldn’t be overthinking this. It isn’t going to lead me anywhere good, and I know that. But I can’t keep my head focused on keeping Master happy. Or at least a semblance of the word. Master toyed with my hair as he asked,”Are you feeling any better my beautiful baby girl?”

And I was for the most part feeling a lot better about this whole damned thing. Even if it is still pretty messed up. When I nodded my head, I answered,”Yes, Master. Princess is feeling a whole lot better now.”

“So, what are we going to be doing now?”,I asked. Just wanting to know what exactly he had in store for the rest of the day. As I hoped that we wouldn’t just be sitting in the living room until dinner. That was kind of boring in my book. Even Master would get bored of just watching T.V eventually. At least I hoped he would get bored and let us go upstairs to that awesome playroom. Cat toys or not, I liked that stuff. The way it sounded when I batted it across the room. Getting to ‘run’ around the place as much as I wanted without Master getting upset with me. Master answered,”Well I think for now we can just cuddle together for an hour or two.”

“Then I think we can go upstairs to play with all of your toys.”,he continued. It was something that I could be onboard with. And it was good to know that we weren’t sitting here for the rest of the day. Looking at him, I nodded as I loved the idea. A whole lot more than I thought. I really think that I deserved a little playtime in a couple of hours. Especially after everything that I went through this morning. The way that he took my temperature warrants me getting some more pizza. Or any other kind of food that I love the most. Maybe some spaghetti and meatballs? That’s if I ask nice enough. I’m not sure if he will be willing to make it or not.

But if I plead good enough he might.

The fact that I’m entertaining the idea of begging is horrific. All I need to do is think about is practice running. Which is what playing is going to be like. I doubt that he realizes this right now. Or will ever realize this. But I just hope that I’ll get better at running with all my limbs still intact as he kisses my forehead. Being gentle while he pets my back. Leaving more and more kisses as he does so. While we sat together. This helped me relax a lot more than I thought it would. After a few minutes, Master questioned,”Do you want to watch a movie, Princess?”

“Princess would love to watch a movie, Master. What do you have?”,I asked him. As I hadn’t noticed a dvd collection. Or anything to indicate that he had physical copies of his favorite shows or movies. It started to dawn on me that he might not have any. Which is sort of annoying if I think about it. I wonder why he doesn’t have any at all. Master answered,”Well, I have an Amazon Prime account. So, what movie do you want to watch, Princess?”

“Name any that you want. Master is very sure they have it if you want it.”,he informed me. It was good to know. As I wanted any kind of movie to focus on at that moment. For the next few minutes, I wracked my brain for something that I hadn’t seen in a long time. Something that made me happy. Anything that wasn’t his creepy interest in gross anime. After a few minutes, I asked,”Master, can we watch ‘Shawn of The Dead’?”

“Definitely, Princess. We can watch ‘Shawn of The Dead’ if you really want to.”,he answered. Putting it on after hurriedly fumbling with his remote. When it was on, I just relaxed against his comfortable chest. Resting my cheek against his chest as I stared at the screen. God, it really had been so long since I’ve seen this movie. When I had last seen it, I still wasn’t entirely sure of it. All I was sure of was that I loved this movie. With a soft sigh, I muttered,”Thank you, Master. Princess appreciates that she can see this movie after not seeing it for so long.”

“She really appreciates it.”,I added. Trying to make sure that I sounded like the submissive little pet that he wanted me to be. It was becoming easier and easier than I thought it would be. And a part of me was terrified of what that could mean. But I won’t allow myself to dwell on that. If I become more dependent on him…if I overthink this or anything else. I’m not sure that I could last longer. My head is so messed up and it’s only been two God damned days here. Just two days. How the fuck can I allow myself to be so damned messed up? No normal person would ever be fine with it. So why am I starting to…no…no. Not now. Can’t allow my thoughts to overwhelm me right now. What I need to do is keep myself out of my own head. Watch the movie.

Soon as I’m out of this disgusting place, I’ll be able to find out about it. Once I’m free of this disgusting place. And Master is…Bradley is firmly behind bars and away from me. Then I’ll find out what is wrong with me. Soon as I get out of this place, I’ll be able to find someone who can tell me what’s wrong. It might be a while from now but…but I’ll find someone. All I must do is break out.

For now, all I must do is…is handle it. Handle and repress any negative feelings that I might have. It might be what I must do for right now. But it won’t be forever. There is no way that I’m going to live with Mas-Bradley forever. Not in that disgusting bastard’s wet dreams I will be here forever. Though I must wonder why no one is looking for me. Sure, I wasn’t the nicest person alive. And I didn’t have a whole lot of friends. But you would think someone would come look for me. Even if it’s someone that vaguely remembered me. It probably wouldn’t be someone in my family as I had burned bridges with them. Pretty much all of them. They were…they have never really liked me after some stuff that had happened with Grandpa. Right now, I wished that I had made more friends. Or that I had recently gotten a job at all.

Co-workers would look for me, right? Maybe?

I wish that I had a home with neighbors that I had been friends with. Any kind of relationship that would require someone to miss me. But of course, I didn’t. And that is what I hate about myself right now. How unfriendly I was. As well as how terrible my own situation had…God now is not the time to even think about this. All I need is to keep myself in the moment and remind myself of the person I am. That I need to get control of my life back in my paws. Hands. Fuck. Whatever now. While we watched the movie, I tried to keep myself from overthinking everything. If I do that then I wouldn’t be able to focus on what Master is going to do next. Finding myself enjoying this movie a lot more than I had thought I had ever would be. Feeling more like a human being than I had in the past forty-eight hours. I hoped that I would be able to do that more often.

At any rate, I just stop myself from thinking about the whole damn scenario. When the movie was over, I sighed as it had been too long since I enjoyed myself like this. Sure, I hadn’t laughed. Mostly because I was afraid of what Master would do if I did a human action like that. Something tells me that if I did, he wouldn’t be happy about it. Soon as the credits rolled, he scratched behind my real ears again. Calmly, Master questioned,”So, Princess. How do you feel about watching a movie that Master likes?”

A movie that Master liked? That could be something that’s either a perverted anime made into a movie. Or something utterly disgusting that I would ultimately regret the instant that he clicks on it. But I had to play nice to keep Master from getting angry at me. Looking up at him, I asked,”Sure, Master. What kind of movie do you want to watch?”

“It’s a movie called ‘Pet’.”,he explained. Continuing to tell me about the plot of the entire movie. And I immediately regret asking him about what kind of movie he wanted to watch. Which terrified me as I sat there in his lap. The idea of a horror movie being based on a man being obsessed with a woman. So, he stalked her for a long amount of time just because he needed love. Not wanting love but needing it. That he was lonely and deserved to have a girlfriend. But not the one that he was chasing. A woman that was a serial killer that killed a ton of innocent people.

Like setting a homeless man on fire.

It was so gross. Mostly because of how much detail he was going in about it. And how much he seemed to adore the man in the movie. Almost like he idolizes him or something like that. But I do my best to not allow this to show on my face as I sat there. Nodding my head as I listened to him. Soon as he finished, Master asked,”So, what do you think Princess? Sound like something that you could enjoy?”

“Yes, Master. It sounds exactly like something that Princess can enjoy. It sounds wonderful.”,I answered. Keeping my tone light as to not anger him in the slightest bit. As I feel like he would punish me severely if I acted upset or disgusted. And I wanted to keep him from hurting me in any way. While the movie started, I chewed the inside of my cheek as I prayed it was a quick movie. That way I wouldn’t be subjected to too much guts and gore.