The Truth

This is a small piece of fan fic set in the world of ‘Monster Hunter International’

It is my hope that through fate, karma, people talking to him, bribery, sexual favors or whatever, Larry Correia would find his way this and give it a good read. I would love to get his input and insights. Of course to be able to team up with him to transform this fan fic to a real book and canon for that world that I do so enjoy reading about.

I would love to start off with the age-old trope of ‘It was a dark and stormy night’. I mean what is how we all envision the opening to the old horror movies, so why shouldn’t it be true in nowadays? Sadly, well more thankfully for me it wasn’t exactly dark yet or stormy and if you really want to split hairs it wasn’t even really night yet. Rather it had been the typical bright and sunny Phoenix Arizona day. Hell, there wasn’t even a single cloud in the sky. Clear blue from horizon to horizon in every direction, not counting the sun that is.

In fact, it was a rather.... well, to be honest, it was a very boring Sunday evening in April. The sun still hadn’t fully slipped behind the hills to the West and those last rays filled the sky closest to the silhouetted hills were deep shades of crimson and amber. To make the evening rather enjoyable, there was a blessed cool breeze drifting through the city, so I elected to prop the door open to get some of that cool fresh air. I should note that doing so was strictly not allowed by management, as it could lead to theft and robbery, which to me is the same thing, but I digress. Still, being locked up in a workshop for several hours with poor ventilation, the decision to have the door open was needed if only to air out the place.

Of course the management where I worked for were not incompetent. In fact they knew exactly how things should be run, why they should be run that way and had no problems making sure they were. Of course as I worked at a firing range, in the gun-smith shop, there was logic to that rule. But the cool fresh air was just too good to pass up. As it was Sunday, I mean the range was closed, so this was the best time for me to get any real work done without being bothered by hundreds of stupid questions that I was not allowed to answer or people asking for favors that I couldn’t just do. Ironically, for the past few months it was the only peace and quiet I got in my life. Living in a low rent apartment complex meant that I got to enjoy the experience of several different types of music... all at once. Still, looking back, the choice to have that door open was my first mistake.

I’m not saying my life was filled with excitement. In fact the only thing that ever even remotely came close to ‘interesting’ that happened in my life is that I have this job. And for the most part, I somehow feel that of all the firing ranges in the world, this just happened to be the most boring one ……. ever. I mean even the drug dealer down on the corner, was so run of the mill average that people didn’t notice him.

It was just another very dull evening, listening to run of the mill 80s rock, while cleaning brass to be refilled later. Remember how I said that having the door open was my first mistake? Well my second was wishing for something… anything interesting to happen. When I was making said stupid wish I took a second to look at the clock. 8:59 P.M. and 50 seconds. My blessedly quiet shift was done. Time to head home.

No sooner than had I finished the wish, than someone ran through the door.

Eric!” the intruder half shouted through gasps trying to breath,” We need,” gasp gasp, “your help!”

As soon as I heard the voice I knew who it was. He and his ‘team’ came here several times a week and rented out a walled off section for their shooting. As they had all the legal paperwork and spent a lot of money for the privacy, the management had no problem with their request for privacy. Other than that they really didn’t stand out. Of course the management was always happy to see them and have everyone strict orders to help them with whatever they want. But anyone with enough money to flash around is going to get the management to kiss their ass as well.

“No.” I said with the firmness of a mother politely scolding their child. Just because the management kisses up to them during normal business hours when they are paying, doesn’t mean I have to do so as well when we are closed. “We are closed. If you want something you can come back tomorrow during normal business hours. Now Mr. John..”

“Shut up!” he snapped. It seemed that I only managed to say as much as I did because he needed to catch his breath. “First I’m Mark. Just call me Mark. Second I need access to the special vault.”

I just looked at him in disbelief. Ever sense the movie ‘Commando’ came out forever ago, it was common place for a crackpot, nut job or teen to actually think every place that had guns must also have some sort of secret vault where the really big and deadly weapons were kept for some unknown reason. I honestly didn’t take him for one of those who believed such things. I mean he always seemed to be is his right frame of mind whenever I saw him before.

“Mark.” I now said in a very slow and calming voice. I really did not need to deal with this level of crazy tonight. I wanted something exciting, not bat shit crazy.. “There is no special vault. No secret door to a hidden room. It is just this work room, the store room and a bathroom. That’s it back here. Now how about you go home and sleep it off. We’ll just pretend that this never happened.”

Now it was Marks turn to give me the look like I was the crazy person speaking nonsense. We stared at each other thinking the other one was no longer playing with a full deck. The room was still for what felt like forever with the only sound being Marks heavy breathing. It was interrupted when another figure crashed into the door and made their way inside.

“Mark!” the figure yelled. It was a female voice. Maybe the lady that was in charge of the group during their normal daytime visits? Ms. New ...... something or other. “Why the hell don’t you have the door to their special vault open yet?”

“He doesn’t know anything about the vault!” Mark shouted back, now able to breathe clearly.

I was starting to think that this was some kind of elaborate joke until she stepped into the light. She was covered in some sort of black ooze. I then noticed that Mark was covered as well. It was only then that the smell of them hit my nose. Whatever that ooze was, it had a stench that made me want to gag. I had to take a second to force the vomit that was coming back down. I almost fainted.

“Look,” I started, still fighting the urge to throw up, “I’m sorry but there is no hidden room or special vault here Miss New ….umm.. New…..”

I just couldn’t remember her name. I mean she was hot, very hot, and I had even thought about asking her out from time to time, so why couldn’t I remember her name? She could see the look on my face and, after rolling her eyes decided to help things alone.

“Newcastle,” she sighed,” It’s Holly fucking Newcastle.”

Without warning another figure appeared at the door, this one was a giant, and he was wearing a black suit, that also seemed to be covered in the same foul smelling black ooze. In his hand was what appeared to be a custom made pistol, resized to fit his giant grip. He charged in, and pulled the door almost all the way shut behind him. He then took up a position so he could look out the door and shoot anything approaching, but also keep tabs on the people in the room. While the other two were still recovering from who knows what, this man, if you could classify him as that, didn’t even looked winded. For all I could tell he had just strolled from a car parked right outside. Holly looked at him then back to me.

“Okay Eric? That’s your name right?” She asked

“Yeah”, was my only response.

“Okay Eric,” she smiled. It was the kind of smile that just screamed that bad news was coming and there was nothing I could do to change it. ”here’s the thing. We are somewhat pressed for time here, I’m going to give you a lot of information real fast. It’s going to sound weird, you are most likely not going to believe a word of it. Well until all hell breaks loose. But when it does, all I ask of you is that you try not to scream or yell and stay behind us. If you do that, you well most likely survive the night. Then you and the man in the suit over there can have a chat about what happened.”

She nodded her head in the direction of the big man, who was looking out the door. Mark, I had just noticed, was pulling tools off the walls, opening and closing drawers, flipping on and off every switch he could find. I was about to yell at him when Holly grabbed my head with both hands. She looked me dead in the eye.

“Eric I am going to ask you a question and I really need you to answer the best you can. Where the hell is the entrance to the special vault with our weapons? We need to get them now because we are about to be over run,” Holly said to me with no emotion in her face what so ever. Then with turned to the big man at the door. “Franks! ETA?”

“About 3 minutes.......,” Franks said with a that gave the impression that this was just another day like any other. “More or less.”

“More or less!?!?!” Mark shouted, still with the over powering need to touch caress and fondle everything he could in the workroom. “Which is it? more or less?”

No sooner did Mark finish than Franks pulled the door shut all the way and put the security bar down. This was followed by several loud sounds of something hitting the outside of the door. Only then could muffled screams be heard from outside.

“Less.” Franks said in the still calm voice,” But the door is new. It’ll hold them for a bit though..”

“A bit?” Mark shouted, “Like the 3 minutes you just said and turned out to be more like 3 seconds?”

“They’re fast. Franks answered, “And can jump.”

Holly kept looking at me as if expecting me to suddenly know where the entrance to the nonexistent secret vault would be. After a few moments she dropped her hands and walked over to Franks. Both of them had look like this was fairly common situation for them and were acting more like office workers on break by a water cooler than worrying about whatever was on the other side of the door. Mark, on the other hand, looked like he was about ready to have a heart attack or at the very least a mental breakdown.

“Dimmit Eric,” Mark shouted, “ Just tell us where the entrance is so we can do our jobs.”

I then noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. I turned just in time to see Franks walking toward me. He stopped a few inches in front of me, leaned down to look me straight in the eye. For long seconds he just looked at me. The sounds of Mark tearing the place apart and the pounding on the door almost seemed to fate. Was he going to kiss me?

Then, without warning, he raised himself to his full height. Slowly he made his way to an old work bench. He slowly reached underneath and started to pull upwards, as if we was going to lift the thing with one arm.

“Okay Franks what the hell?” Holly asked, “Why isn’t he telling us anything and why the hell are you trying to move that bench, you can see it’s mounted to the floor.”

As I watched I could see the bolts used to keep the bench in place begin to be pulled out of the cement floor. The metal legs of the bench were starting to warp out of shape due to the stress it was going through. Franks, for his part, looked like he was putting as much effort into lifting it as he were lifting a load of bread. All the while doing slowly more for trying not to damage the held object, rather than the fact that it was heavy.

“He doesn’t know.” Was all Franks said.

“What the ever loving hell are all of you talking about?” I shouted as I finally I got my power of speech back. “There is no secret vault. There is hidden stash of weapons that belong to you here and what the hell is making the noise outside?”

Franks just looked at me with no expression what so ever. Soon there was a loud crack and the bench, along with part of the floor, lifted from the rest of the floor. Under it was a very clear view of stairs going down. I could only look on in disbelief. I had worked at this range, in this very room, for going on ten years. I had known about every secret place and small hidey holes that most of the other staff didn’t know about. Hell I knew this back room better than most of the management, and was almost part of management myself. Just how on earth did something like this escape my knowledge all this time?

“He didn’t know about the vault.” Franks said, again as calm as ever, “If he didn’t know about the vault then he wouldn’t know about how to get in. As we are in a rush I am bypassing the normal way to open the door. Now could someone go down and get the weapons we need?”

In a flash Mark ran toward the hole. He dove down to the floor and used the ooze covering his body to slide between Franks legs. He then twisted at the last possible second to land on his feet a third of the way down the stairs. He then half raced, half fell down the stairs. Even though it was an impressive act of balance, skill, timing and a childlike nature, I was still trying to figure out how I had missed something like that the whole time. I mean there was no way that something like that could have been hidden from me for so long This workshop, my world for years. I had spent countless hours in here working. How on earth did I not know what something like… like a hidden weapons vault was right there all that time.

“Ho.. ho. Hold on a second.” I was fighting to get a grasp on speaking again. “You mean to say that everyone in this room right now knew about this vault?”

“Yes.” Franks answered

“Do my bosses know about this?” I asked, now totally baffled.

“Yes” Franks and Holly answered in unison.

“But why doesn’t he know?” Holly asked, now taking interesting this line of questioning.

“It’s classified.” Came Franks answer.

“Classified?” I almost laughed, “Why the hell would this be classified? This is my workshop, I even put that bench there and put those bolts in myself! “

Franks just looked at me for several seconds. He didn’t move at all. Even holding a solid metal table weighting several hundred pounds, with all the tools still of it, Franks looked like it wasn’t bothering him at all.

“Franks.” Holly said, her very calm voice, “We have a horde of several hundred Screaming Crawlers on the other side of that door. The weapons we need are down in that vault. Could you please clue me in as to why, our friend, Eric here doesn’t know anything about the vault.”

“I can’t.” He answered.

Holly suddenly looked like she wanted to shoot Franks then and there. She closed her eyes took a deep breath to calm herself. She opened her eyes, smiled and decided to take a different route.

“And why can’t you tell me.” She asked in a curt tone.

Franks looked at her and blinked. He placed the gun he was holding on the table he was still holding up in the other hand. Then, with it free, he pulled the ear piece from his ear and reached inside his jacket pocket to turn off a radio. The whole time the table he was holding out at arm’s length didn’t move even a fraction of an inch.

“It’s classified. To explain would go against code 19726-53,” Franks answered. “But Harbinger can tell you what I can’t.”

Holly just looked at Franks with the look that she wanted to strangle him.

“Why didn’t you just lead with that?” she asked.

“You never asked.” Was his response, like this reason made perfect sense.

“Okay,” Holly sighed. It was apparent that she was getting sick of this game, “Is there anything else we should know about this situation?” She paused for a second and then quickly added “If there is, then please tell what you can and who we should contact who would know the information we need should you be unable to tell us or are just to fucking stupid to understand yourself. I swear Franks, you are about as useful as a demon sometimes.”

As soon as she said that, I swear that Franks tightened his grip on the bench leg. It was as if the room lowered in temperature by 10 degrees. Normally when living in the desert this was a good thing, but in that room right now with Franks now showing emotion, namely that of anger, I think I would rather be outside with the screaming whatevers. Holly didn’t seem to notice as she was working with her headset radio. After a moment or two Franks regained control of his emotions and when back to his resting ‘ I have the ability to rip you into shreds with my bare hands, and the only thing preventing me from doing so is that I would have to fill out more paperwork’ face.

“Hello. Hello” Holly said into a headset microphone. “The damn thing came off while we were running here. Does anyone hear me? It’s Holly.”

“Did you make it to the firing range workshop?” came a voice from the headset speaker.

Holly jumped and pulled the headset off her head in pain.

“Yeah I hear you.” She answered back, “Damn headset is stuck on loud. Get Harbinger on, I need to tell him something.”

“I’m here Holly,” came a different voice that I guess was this Harbinger person, “What’s the situation?”

“We are in the workshop and safe for now.” Holly reported. “But there is a complication. When we got here there was a civilian in here who knew nothing about the vault. In fact it came as a complete surprise to him.”

There was silence from the other end. All that could be heard was static.

“And?” Harbinger asked. “It’s not like everyone would know about our hidden stash of weapons.”

“Earl,” holly snapped, “Even Franks looked at this kid and when he did, he seemed to be worried. Now he’s acting like an asshole. Well more asshole than his normal level of asshole. If that makes sense.”

“Tell him that the kid is a Demi-sleeper”. Franks said, still holding into the table.

“A Demi-sleeper?” Holly asked “What the fuck is a Demi-sleeper?”

It seems that their radios or they were voice activated or she had the mic on during that question. Either way, earls voice came back and it did not sound please.

“Holly I pray to whatever gods there may be that I did not hear you correctly. “Earls voice crackled over the radio. “Please tell me I either misheard you or you were joking. You did not say Demi-sleeper did you?”

“Sorry Earl.” Holly answered back, “According to Franks the kid is a Demi-sleeper. Now could you please clue me into exactly what the hell he is not talking about?”

It seems that Franks was not exactly known for his conversation skills as the crack about his lack of talking got back everything from chuckles to out and out laughter from a bunch of people.

“Quiet!” came earls voice over everyone else. The chatter stopped. ”Holly this Demi-sleeper does he..”

“My name is Eric,” I yelled. I knew it was loud enough for the mic to pick up. “I don’t know what the hell is going on but your people here just broke into private property and caused a large amount of damage. And, just for the record, I am wide awake. As no one could sleep with the amount of noise and bullshit these three are causing! You better believe I am going to call my manager and the police!”

“Eric, I’m sorry if this is a bit confusing right now but please try to go with the flow. “Earl said in as a calming voice as he could. He wasn’t that good at it. “Now do you trust Holly? Because if you do she can safely get you……wait...... three?”

He stopped talking. Franks closed his eyes as if showing respect and Holly looked like she was about to break down and cry. She fought it for a little bit and then straightened up.

“While trying to get here..” she stopped for a moment trying to keep it together, “we lost Gomez, Carter, Smith , Cowboy and the twins to the screamers. Only Franks and I made it here untouched. Mark got tagged in the back. He just doesn’t know it yet. It’s a confirmed infection. “

There was silence.

As if on cue, Mark raised his head up to just above the floor. He smiled at me as if to show that everything is going to be perfectly fine. He then tossed out 2 large duffel bags.

“Okay I think I got everything we need in these two bags.“ Mark said as he slid them through Franks legs. “Are we ready to get back to work?”

Holly gave him a look then held up a finger for him to be silent and turned, pretending that she was on the radio.

Franks knew what was going. He turned his head around and looked down at Mark.

“You got the front room clear of everything? And the back room?” he asked.

“Yeah all except the strange looking whip you said not to touch no matter what. “ Mark answered, “Wait a minute. Back room? I mean I checked everything down there and tossed what wasn’t nail down into the bags. I didn’t see any other rooms.”

“Listen closely. On the back wall, near the floor there is what looks like a crack. Follow it up as high as you can until you don’t see it anymore.” Franks said as if he were giving instructions. ”At the top of the crack is a slight indentation. It is a hidden and is going to take a little work finding it. When you press it, a hidden door well open. You need to get everything in that room as well.”

Mark looked to be in total shock. Even holly has turned around. Mark nodded his head and went back down.

As soon as he was gone Holly started to speak.

“Franks,” she stammered,” I think that is the longest string of words I have ever heard you say to anyone at once. Z is going to be so upset then he learns that he missed you actually saying more than 50 words at once!”

“It was 73 actually.” Franks said as he pulled several grenades from his coat pocket and with his thumb, wiggling it into all the rings, pulled three pins all at once. He then dropped them all down the stairs. With the other hand he covered the hole in the floor with the table, “Too bad they were used in a lie.”

A second later the blast waves hit the table. Franks just held it in place as if it were nothing.

“For what it’s worth,” Franks said in a low voice, “I am sorry. I know he was new.”

Holly looked visibly sick.

“Holly, you still with us?” came Earls voice over the radio.

“Yeah, I’m here.” She answered in a weak voice. “We had to give Mark a hunters funeral before he turned.”

“You did the right thing.” Earl said, “ We can mourn his loss later. Right now we got work to do.”

“Roger that” Holly responded. “What the plan?”

“Okay people listen up! We got a change of plans.” Earls boomed. I didn’t even know the guy but he had a very commanding voice. “Holly’s team has been all but destroyed by this damn infestation. It is just her and Franks. Normally this wouldn’t be an issue, but they have stumbled upon a Demi-sleeper in there.”

Before anyone could say anything Earl went on, “Don’t ask what a Demi-sleeper is. If you don’t know, then you don’t need to know. For those of you who do know, shut the hell up. We do not need half facts and whole rumors making things more complicated than they already are. The main goal it to get Holly, Franks and the Demi-sleeper, who goes by Eric, out of there. This can only be done after all those screamers are dead. If even one manages to survive, they well just multiply faster to get the needed number. They must not know that there is a Demi-sleeper inside. If they get to him, it’s game over kids.”

“Earl, that might be too late,” Holly interrupted, “ when we got inside we had about 50 or so following us to the door.”

“96” Franks corrected.

“Fine.” Holly snapped. “We have ninety fucking six of them surrounding the workshop. On the bright side we did get all the weapons minus the whip, and three is a lot easier to lift out than 8 members and Franks, but he might count as two.

“Yeah Holly, “Came another female voice from the radio, “Skippy and I are circling above the workshop right now. There may have only been 96 following you when you closed the door, but now there are more. Lots more.”

“Julie!!!!” Holly shouted, there was a hint of joy in her voice, “It is so good to hear your voice again. You’ll need to tell me all about Germany as soon as we get out of this situation. How many are surrounding the shop?”

By my guess.... all of them.” Came a man’s voice with a very heave German accent.

Slowly I raised my hand to get her attention.

“What?” Franks asked.

“Can these screamers climb walls?” I asked.

“Thankfully no”, Holly answered, “They are low based creatures with small legs, although they can run very fast, and dig tunnels even faster. But if you are at least 3 feet off the ground, they can’t get you. Why?”

I pointed to a cluttered wall with a tool rack. There were tools hanging all over it, but seen clearly middle of it all was a ladder going up to a roof hatch. Words were not needed as we all moved at once. Franks grabbed both of the large duffel bags with one hand. And started toward the ladder, Holly started explaining the plan to the people in the helicopter and I started to climb the ladder to open the hatch.

After a moment of fumbling with the latch, I managed to open it up. No sooner was it open than I felt a hand on my rear pushing me up.

“Eric, “Holly started, “I’ll admit that you have a rather nice ass, but if you don’t hurry it up and out of here right now, so help me god, there is not going to be anything of it left to save.”

With that I was pushed onto the roof. I started to stand up to see just how many of these so called screamers there really were. Before I got onto my knees I was pulled down to lay flat on the roof by Holly.

“Okay listen up,” Holly said in a quiet voice,” Those creatures have slightly below normal eyesight during the day, when it is sunny. But right now it is night time and dark, so they have the better sight. They also have fairly good smell and if your scent gets into the wind, it’ll be like ringing the dinner bell around a bunch of fat people. They also have damn good hearing. Thankfully Skippy is above us and is making a lot of noise.”

I listened; although I could hear the helicopter overhead I could swear I heard music.

“Is the pilot playing Cabbage Point Killing Machine?” I asked

“Yes he is.” Holly answered quickly, “ And I strongly suggest you stop right there.”

“No , you don’t understand,” I started, “I rather like their stuff. But didn’t the guti..”

“Don’t.” Franks said in his low calm voice, “Just don’t”

“But why?” I asked, “In fact I was at that concert where their lead guitar player put some kind of LSD into the wat...…

“Son, I’m going to do something for you that I have never done for anyone else before.” Earl’s voice came over the radio. “I am going to save your life with a word of advice and a threat. So listen up. Drop the fucking subject. Drop it now and do not, I repeat do not EVER speak of the band or the series of events you were about to foolishly go into. If you decide to continue down this path, I’ll lock you in a room with a very upset werewolf for a few days. Because if your stupid ramblings fall upon the wrong ears I can promise you, the werewolf option is going to seem like a fucking vacation. You hear me?”

There was silence over the radio as the helicopter lower itself closer to the roof and a rope ladder was dropped down. In a matter of minutes we were raised quickly into the chopper as it pulled away from the now crumbling building. When we were safely away I crawled to a seat and buckled myself in. I looked around. Next to me was a man who seemed to be enjoying the ride. If he wasn’t dressed in tactical gear, I might have mistaken him for some sort of European male model. He looked over at me and smiled

“Hallo,” he said through a very heavy German accent as he raised his hand to shake mine, “My name is Adolf Hass I’m the monster scholar of Grimm Berlin Beta team. I’m here with the exchange program. Who are you?”

I smiled, shook his hand and gave him my name. I then turned to Holly and the other lady. They were both standing there looking at the German.

“Aahhhh,”Holly cooed, “Julie, you shouldn’t have! You got me a gift all the way from Germany.”

“Well, we girls need to stick together, ya know.” Julie answered. “I knew I had to get you something, and I was stuck between getting you a car or this. So I got you both. The car is waiting for you back at your HQ.”

“So what of him?” Holly said nodding to the German. “What’s the story?”

“Think of him as exchange hunter.” Julie answered. “In the spirit of international relations, Grimm Berlin and MHI have decided to exchange hunters to learn the others knowledge and the like. They got Trip.”

“Oh, poor lost soul.” Holly giggled “He is going to be so out of his element.”

“Well I think Trip is going to do good there”. Julie started then stopped and looked Holly in the eye. “You wouldn’t.”

“Yup,” Holly cooed, “This poor little boy right here had no idea what he’s in for.”

“Okay on to other matters,” Julie said getting serous for a moment. She looked at me, “Is your new friend here the one talking about Mosh?

“Julie,” Holly answered quickly. “Don’t do it. He didn’t know.!

Julie made her way to me and sat down right beside me. I have to admit that this MHI group had some really hot chicks. This one was just as good looking as Holly. I figured I would lay on some of my charm.

“Hello.” I said with a big smile, “You look like you could use a good time.”

She leaned real close. So close, I could feel her breath on my ear. She then spoke in a very clear voice.

“First off I do want you to know that I am very happy that you made it out and are still in one piece”, she stated. “it is our job to make sure that the least amount of lives are lost during events like this. Sadly there is a problem. You see I am married.”

“Oh I don’t mind,” I answered back. “I like to follow the concept of what he don’t know won’t hurt him.”

I laughed. Yes it was an old line and a corny line, but still what would it hurt?

Franks looked at me as I had just slapped a sleeping bull. He then looked at Holly who just rolled her eyes and held out her hand. Franks look annoyed and handed her a small wad of money. I didn’t know if I was imagining it but I would have sworn that he mouthed the word ‘Idiot’.

Julie snapped her fingers in front of me to get my attention.

“Eric is it?” she asked with a nice smile. I nodded my head in reply.

“Let me clue into some pieces of information you may not have been aware of. First and foremost, I am very happily married. My husband, of whom I love with all my heart, has literally been to hell and back for me. We have dealt with things most people would go insane if they thought about it too hard. We have both died and been brought back to life on several occasions. So when I say you have no chance what so ever, I do hope that this might put things into prospective.”

“Next he and I have children, and they are little hellions. We love them very dearly and would do anything to protect them. So would the rest of our families. Now to be clear MHI is part of our extended family and at the current time consists of several hundred very well trained professional monster killers. And every single one of these well trained professional monster killers would most likely turn you into nothing more than a messy blood stain on the sidewalk if I were to give the word. Still my husband is very protective of those he loves. What you just did there would set him off. On the bright side though, it only get him upset enough to break a few bones as a warning.”

“The thing that is going to get you killed”, she went on, “is that my husband one Mr. Owen Pitt has a brother. His brother’s name is David Pitt. Keep up with me here because this is where things get good. David is better known by his stage name, Mosh. As in The Mosh that founded Cabbage Point Killing Machine. The same one who was blamed for all the crap that happened at that concert and the events afterward. So if Owen were to have heard you say things that the press had said, he would have given you a warning or two. I heard that even Franks and Earl told you to stop, so no matter what you are out of warnings. Now as my husband is not here, It falls onto me to do what needs to be done to keep our family honor.”

“Julie don’t do it!” Holly yelled.

I turned just in time to see the butt of a rifle come at my face. It hit hard and I felt myself fall into blackness.

“About time.” from Franks was the last thing I heard before everything went black….

I was surrounded by blackness when I heard a voice.

“Damnit son,” came the voice, “Were you dropped on your head as a child or are you just that stupid?”

I tried to open my eyes. Either they weren’t working or didn’t exist.

“Where am I?” I asked.

“Well your body is out cold in a chopper heading to North Phoenix.” The voice said. “Your mind, aka you, well I guess you can say you are in a bit of a time out for being a major jackass.”

“Why am I here?” I asked

“Well aren’t we full of questions,” came the voice, “As for why you are here, for the most part, you were an idiot and dun pissed off Julie. Just be thankful it wasn’t Owen. Still we, as in you and I, need to have a talk. I can’t give you all the details right now, but I can tell you this. A whole heap of shit is going to be heading your way and you need to know how to deal with it.”

I didn’t know what to say

“You see Owen is a chosen one.” The voice explained, “I know, I know you have no idea who he is and have never met him but there are things you need to know. In short the powers of good or light or whatever had decided that he was to be their champion. And a damn good choice if I do say so myself. Then there is you. You were not chosen. Still you are in this game because you were born.”

“What?” I asked

“Dammit, that old man makes this look so damn easy.” The voice mumbled, “ Let me take this from the top. I dun messed this crap up. Okay, ya see there is a large cosmic battle going on right now. Well it goes on all the time. But in the battle there is a fight between good and evil. For some reason they need to choose champions. Now how these champions are chosen is really hard to understand. You need to know that there are those who buy, trade and kill for the right, to be one of these champions. And there are those who are chosen by the higher powers, like Owen. In some cases there are those who are born into it. From what I have seen you are too thick headed to try to work your way to such power. You sure as hell wouldn’t be chosen. This means you were born into it. As in one of your parents was a god.”

“What? I asked, “As in The Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit kind of God?

“Damnit son,” came the voice again, “Are you sure you don’t have brain damage? Think god with a small g. It is a cosmic being of power and influence but not that much of it. I swear, if you make this harder than it needs to be, I am going to haunt your ass until the day you die and then when you do die, I’ll beat the ever tarnation out of you when you get here. Now shut up and listen.”

“Sorry.” I said in a small voice.

“ You never knew your father. Well there is a reason for that. You ever wonder why your name is Eric Coyoson?”

“My mother liked the name Eric.” I answered. At least I knew that one.

“Really?” came the voice.” Really? The old man gets Owen. Sure he was a little on the dense side, but for Christ’s sake How the hell did you survive childhood?”

I said nothing

“No. I am not going to do that. I wanted to have a gig like this and I sure as hell not going to fail on account of your stupidity.” came the voice. “ Your last name is Coyoson because you are a son of the Coyote spirit. The trickster god. Although that name does give the wrong idea. Sorry kid you don’t have any super powers. No flying, lasers form the eyes, metal claws or anything cool like that. But you do get one or two perks none the less. Now I don’t know exactly how many gifts you have or even what they would be except for one.”

I said nothing

“Yes you can ask what is the one gift I know you do have.” The voice sighed.

“Okay,” I said, “What is the one gift you know I do have?”

“Congratulations son, you now have yourself a real spirit guide.” Came the voice swelling with pride. “Allow me to introduce myself to ya. My name is Sam Haven and I am your own personal fucking Jedi Master Yoda!”

“Who is Jed Eye?” I asked, “and what’s a yoda?”

“Oh Christ do we have a lot of work to do…….”, Came the voice.