The Swirling Black

The swirling black.

It was as if the light had gone out forever. Had the sun given out its last breath or was I on the other side. Was it my vision no longer recognised or was able to receive reality. I was there, alone, scared and in the darkest night I’d ever known. It might be day for all I knew. My past reality had gone forever.

Time passed for what seemed an eternity. How would I know. There was no longer day or night. Just the eternal swirling black. I had to trust my intuition. Was I still breathing? Had death come in the night? Was any of this real? Panic welled up inside me, I began to gasp for breath and my heart beat heavy in my chest. Was this it? Was this the end? I squeezed my eyes shut tight. Then something stirred. It was only a whisper of a sound but still it was there. Panic had proved useful after all.

All my senses were scanning for more and although I could not see anything it felt like I might be buried. No, how could I hear the faint sound that passed me by earlier. Something crawled across my feet. It was sharp and slightly wet but it made little sound. I let out a slight scream but no sound was heard. What was happening to me?

Then all of a sudden a whole mass of small sharp and wet pins smothered my entire being. I tried to scream again but nothing happened. I went to frantically brush of the pins but found I was frozen solid. I couldn’t move. I must be dead but how could I still feel and hear? Then they were gone and I was left there suspended in the black.

More time passed for what seemed an eternity. I had no perception if it was five earth minutes or parsecs of multiple millenniums. My mind was starting to break and imaginations started to form in my minds eye. Was it real however, it was so dark I couldn’t discriminate between reality or imagination.

The deception continued and I fell endlessly into a never ending dark abyss. My mind broke and I imagined that I was asleep and completely unable to wake. A coma, unconscious and alive but stuck forever. My only sense that gave me any understanding of what was existing was that I could think. The noumena of my mind had saved me from complete loss of control but still I could not move, see or smell. My touch failed me and the only reality was in my mind. Was it I could hear or was that an illusion.

The black continued to swirl. I began to sense something new, perhaps a contradiction to what seemed and endless timeless age. I could not truly perceive but it felt like I was beginning to disintegrate. Again was it a mere figment of my imagination or was it really happening. I ventured into yet another never ending void of semi existence. I was floating in time and space the endless black all around and I watched my self dissolve into to dust from afar. My body was slowly crumbling away like grains of matter and I was falling once again even though I was aware of every moment. I could not truly feel this decay but I was still conscious as much as I could tell. My thoughts echoed aloud and I could envisage images before or within me but still my physical being disintegrated like endless grains of time evaporating or collapsing.

Was this now everything I had become, was it the end of my reality? Was I in fact dead? Had I ceased to be? Had death come and taken me across to the shadow? Was I experiencing the moments of passing to another place in the universe? A heaven, a hell into the dark mater of the cosmos. Was I to regenerate into another form?

I did not know.

For my time was at an end.