The Problem With Cupcakes

A woman accepts a “free” cupcake in a fairy-owned bakery. [Generated]

Elsa loved the Cafe of Daione Si. The colors were brighter than the other coffee stands, the coffee just a little sweeter, and they served the most wonderful little sandwiches. Combined with the WiFi, the place was perfect for someone working on the Great American Novel. Elsa came here frequently; it was the perfect place away from home.

The cutest little girl walked to the tables, her little red beret bouncing up and down. She carried a plate of cupcakes, and pastel papers with chocolate frosting, but no one took even one from the plate. When she finally approached Elsa’s table, Elsa took one. “Thank you, dear.”

The little girl smiled. “No, thank you.” She ran back to the kitchen. Everyone watched her leave, then looked back at Elsa for a moment. There was a collective shrug as they returned to whatever they had been doing. Elsa ate the cupcake and returned to work. That was the best cupcake I have ever had! An hour and a large macchiato later, she closed her laptop and left.

* * * * *

When Elsa arrived home, she heard screaming from inside the house. Dialing 911 as she went, she quickly covered the ground to their kitchen. Her husband was being attacked by the little girl from the cafe; he was barely keeping her a bay. The little girl had grown some fangs and claws since giving her the cupcake. Her hand hit her forehead. Daione Si. People of the mound. I am so stupid. She put the phone down.

“HEY!”

Her shout took the two by surprise. The little girl looked at Elsa. “I gave you something sweet, so I’m taking something sweet!” She then returned to trying to eat her husband. Her husband had picked up a broom during the break. He was now keeping her at bay while she chomped on the broomstick.

Elsa’s eyes rolled. So that’s what they mean, that you shouldn’t accept gifts there. She walked over to the refrigerator and opened it. Fine, I wonder what she accept in place of my husband? She saw the two steaks she bought earlier. That works. She grabbed the two steaks she had bought earlier for dinner. She lifted them to make sure that they were still bloody. She saw the little girl watching the steaks greedily. Elsa handed them to the little girl.

She sniffed at the steaks, then opened the package with one of her claws. She licked them.

She nodded at Elsa. “This works.” She hugged the steaks tight and ran off.

Her husband glared at her. “She almost ate me.” He closed his eyes for a moment of meditation. He opened them, just a little calmer. “What did she give you?”

Elsa put her phone away. “A devil’s food cupcake.” She approached her husband. “Oh, and it was good.” She smiled at him. “It would almost have been worth trading you for it.” She tousled his hair. “Almost.”

He shrugged, smiled, and embraced her. He pulled back a little. “Think we can trade our reprobate son for one?”

She smiled as she hugged him tighter. “Now, that would be fair trade.” They laughed.

When their son walked into the kitchen a few minutes later, they looked at him and smiled. He looked at them, trying to figure out what joke he had missed. The scrawny sixteen-year-old looked at them. “You guys are weirding me out.” He was there just long enough to grab some string cheese and a can of coke. When he had left, she looked at her husband.

“Remember when we used to call him ‘Cupcake’ because he was so sweet?”

They almost died of laughter.