The Payment Forward

Part 1: The Package

It all started with one of those special mornings. Missing shoes, spilt coffee, lost keys; it just kept coming. I was in such a hurry to leave the house, not knowing what was waiting for me on the outside of my door. Just what I needed; the ever dreaded, eviction notice. I couldn't believe what was happening! I lost my job a week before this, along with my long-term boyfriend. Nothing had been going my way for a while now and it seemed like I couldn’t sink any lower.

I returned to my apartment that evening to find a small package set across my door mat; bound in twine with no address. Odd as it seemed, I found this quite intriguing. I'd had nothing but bad luck for the last three weeks, so I had no reason to believe this was meant for me. What was it and why was it here? My name was not on the package so perhaps if I held onto it, one of my neighbors would come looking for it. But there was something inside of me, that felt otherwise.

That in mind, the package sat on the table closest to my door for about six days. Each night I returned home, I’d fall asleep staring at the package, waiting for the knock of my neighbors to come. The more I stared at it, the more I hoped no one would come to claim it. On day seven I woke in my bed, which was not where I fell asleep the previous night. As I stood and walked across the wooden floors of my apartment, I noticed shreds of twine and paper everywhere. While gathering the mess, a small writing on the shreds of paper caught my attention and would bottle my mind all morning.

"Do Not Read!"

-Part 2: The Book

Making my way back into the bedroom, a little black journal lay resting in the middle of my bed. The book slightly ajar, with a red silk string poking out from between the bottom of the pages. The leather book was heavy in my hands, despite how small it was. I quickly disregarded what was going on and tried to calm myself the best I could. After spending all the early morning cleaning up after myself and preparing for the day, it was finally time for some coffee.

As I waited for the brew to finish, I stared at the book trying to remember what I might've read the night before. But I couldn’t remember a thing; and I couldn't find a single reason as to why I shouldn’t read it. After all, it is just a little black book. No harm ever came from reading a book. So maybe if I peeked, it wouldn't hurt. I fixed my coffee, gathered myself along with the book on the couch and dove right in.

"If you found this book, this is your lucky day. This is where you leave your troubles behind."

I started from the very beginning and as I continued my read, the book seemed to get more and more personal to me. There was much about issues I had been struggling through, including the loss of a relationship and job. It focused a lot on shame, disappointment and loneliness. Discouraging as it seems, the book clearly stated that these are all fixable problems and that in order to get by, I must be willing to accept what's happening, pass on what I know and then move on.

- Part 3: The Money

" Today you will find a gift. This gift will make your troubles seem like nothing more than a horrible dream."

I hadn't read too far into the book but finding the time to put it down was something I was struggling with all morning. On my way out the door for my next job interview, question after question about this book swarmed through my mind. But I could not be bothered with some silly book; I had bigger things to worry about! Low and behold, just as that thought crossed my mind, I reached into my purse for my cell phone and what I pulled out was far greater than I could have ever imagined.

It was twenty-thousand dollars; all crisp hundreds, rolled up and tied with a red satin string. There was no way this could have been a coincidence. This was something I had never believed in. This kind of money doesn't just fall out of the sky! But it was real; I held it in my hands and saw it with my own eyes. I deeply hoped that this was the day things would finally turn around for me. It's not every day a book tells you that everything is going to be okay and then ten minutes later, all your worries are gone. I had to keep this to myself. So, I tucked the money away in my purse and continued driving, like it wasn't even there.

On the ride home, my purse lay open in my passenger seat, tormenting me. There had been a million things on my mind in the last few weeks, I could not even think of where to begin. Nothing could hold me back. The first thing I did when I got home was pay a visit to my landlord. She seemed surprised, I was able to pay my back rent and a few extra months ahead. But she wasn't going to argue with the money, and I wasn't going to argue with having peace of mind. It felt so great and took a great weight off my shoulders to finally take care of everything. I was finally able to sit in my home and read, with nothing to worry about.

-Part 4: The Blanks

"There is plenty more where it came from, all you must do is let me help you. I have all the answers to your problems. Just leave them in my hands."

The next morning, I found the book propped against my cabinets on the kitchen counter, as I walked in for my usual coffee. As much as it appealed to me, this was not where or how I left it last. Set wide open and ready to read. Even so, it had won me over in a matter of seconds. My heart raced with excitement as I prepared myself for a further read. But I was only able to get so far into the book, since there was no more for me to read. There was a big section of writing and the rest of the book was blank.

"It will all come back to you in due time. The things you most desire will be yours and your obstacles will be no more."

This was odd. How could a book with such positive influence, go unfinished? There was nothing left to do but be grateful for what I had learned and for what had happened. Nothing had ever made me so confident and so confused at the same time, before. But seeing those blank pages gave me a feeling I will never forget. Why would someone write something and give it away without finishing their work? Everything was about to start making sense, faster than I could've ever intended.

-Part 5: The Wonder

My phone began to ring just as I had finished getting ready for the day. To my surprise, it was the one person I had been wanting to talk to since all this stuff started happening. I answered the phone and heard his voice for the first time since he had told me things weren't working between us. Looking down into my purse, as he spoke to me, I couldn't believe what I was seeing. My mind went blank, staring into the bag with a constant echo in my ear to see if I was still on the line.

There was another bundle of money, wrapped in the same red satin string as the one before. Twenty-thousand dollars, there, in front of my eyes for the second time in just two days! I couldn't explain believe what was happening! After hanging up the phone, I began to jump and dance around in excitement, as my phone rang for a second time. It was the company I had just interviewed with the day before, telling me that I was hired and could start in the morning.

Just like that, I had a bundle of money, a date with my boyfriend and my dream job. I wondered if this had something to do with me, or everything to do with the book. But I wasn’t going to ask questions, there was no time. I suddenly had so much to prepare for; I suddenly had so much to lose.

-Part 6: The Taking

After returning from my first day at my new job and some intense shopping, I returned home to find a bouquet of flowers from my boyfriend on my porch. I was so happy that things were finally going my way after so long. Just as I began to settle in, placing the flowers on my counter-top, the book fell at my feet; wide open and faced down. Before I could even think to pick it up, there was a loud knock at my door.

The front desk clerk had come to inform me that our landlord was found dead in her apartment, just above me. While trying to process this, the book lay across the room, enticing me once more. Could this be just another coincidence? It didn’t start to make sense to me until I picked up the book and found that there was more to read than before. It was like I had missed an entire day of reading.

“He who takes, will also be taken; ‘till the gift and book have been forsaken.”

Before I knew it, I was in tears; I felt more trapped than I ever had before. This book is, indeed, very special. But there was a price to pay for not heading the warning that I had no recollection of ignoring. Every person or thing that comes into the money due to my hand, would come to an end. There was nothing to do but rid myself of the money and the book.

-Part 7: The Payment Forward

A week went by and this book was toying with me. I refrained from spending the money and soon after, received news that my boyfriend was killed in an accident. It wasn’t long before I began seeing the faces of the few people who I’d handed the money to before, on the news. After trying to rid myself of the book, it became clear to me that this would not be as easy as I thought. I could not burn the book; I could not bury it; it always came back. And each time, it mocked me.

“You haven’t the heart to give me away; so here, I’ll stay.”

The only way the book would leave me, was if I paid it forward to another person. However, the guilt would linger with me till this day. I wanted nothing more to do with this book or the money, but I did not want to bring this upon anyone else. There was no other choice for me left to make in the end. I had to find someone to take this off of my hands. But who would it be?

I found it in myself to drive as far as I could, just to get this book as far away from me as possible. After six hours of contemplating to turn around, the choice I made was one I will always regret. With thoughts of sadness and guilt, I made my way to your front door. After knocking I left as fast as I could, crying shamefully.

Know that I am sorry. The book is yours to keep.

"Don't Read!"