The Lady and The Vagabond

It was after a long day of work and with tired feet that the Lady met him. She walked down the street while she listened to the music that played over her headphones, she didn't give much mind to anything at that point. Through the smooth flowing of the melodic notes she heard a voice that called to her.

“Excuse me, miss?”

The Lady turned to face a Vagabond who was sitting with his back against the wall of the grocery store. His clothes were tattered and nearly as dirty as he was. Next to him there were bagels, a bag of vegetables and a container of cream cheese. She removed one of her ear buds so she could better hear the man.

“That thing hanging from your bag. I know it has something to do with Native American culture, but what is it?”

“It's a dream catcher.” she reached down and gently grabbed the dream catcher to better display it to the man. Its bells jingled serenely at the movement.

“Ah, no. I know what it is. I'm just wondering why you wear it outside.” The Vagabond smiled at her misunderstanding.

The Lady fumbled with her words for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly why she carried it with her wherever she went. Many reasons came to mind, she was a daydreamer, it had a lot of sentimental value, she liked to be reminded of how she got it, of the kindness of humanity that it represented to her; she didn't want to get too much into it. “I don't know. It was a gift, and I like it.”

“My name's...” The Vagabond introduced himself with his first and last name as he reached out a very dirty hand to shake hers with.

The Lady reached out and shook it with unnoticeable hesitation. She disliked dirt, but her dislike for being rude forced her hand. The Lady shook his hand and told him her first name.

“My real name's...” the Vagabond elaborated with a shortened version of his first name.

“Nice to meet you.”

The Vagabond smiled and nodded. “Would you like to share some salad with me?” He patted the bag of vegetables next to him and looked up at her with an open and friendly expression.

“Ah, no thank you.” The Lady's hand subconsciously patted her bag as she thought of the food contained within it as though that alone would communicate that she already had food prepared for her.

“How about some bagels? I got real cream cheese.”

“No thank you, really, I already have food.” The Lady was very apologetic in her refusal. She wanted to get back to her apartment so she could enjoy her food. She had been looking forward to it all day.

“Okay, Okay. I understand.” The Vagabond made a defensive gesture and leaned back farther into the wall. The Lady awkwardly waved goodbye and went over to the 75¢ soda machine and began to insert the coins into the slot. She had 75¢ exactly and the thought of a nice cold soda made a nearly perfect intermission for her long and tiresome day. She entered the last dime into the machine.

The machine did not accept the coin.

Through the music over the lady's headphones she could hear the Vagabond asking passersby if they wanted to “hug it out”.

The Lady decided that maybe if she tried it again the machine would accept the coin and she could have her beverage. She tried without success, she tried a few more times. Internally she felt crushed at the loss of the beverage, but decided it would be better if she were to just hit the coin return button to get her change back.

The coin return button failed to function.

The Lady began to feel very flustered. It was her only break of the day, she was tired, why couldn't she just have her soda? She began to press the button repeatedly in frustration.

“I would have bought you a soda.” She heard the Vagabond say from his seated position just down the street.

The Lady turned to look at him for a moment before returning to her futile attempts to regain her change.

Just down the street the Vagabond stood and began to walk over, “What seems to be the problem?”

The Lady turned and began to explain the situation, she only had exact change for the machine but it wouldn't accept one of her coins, she wanted to get her money back but it wouldn't work. She gestured to the machine as she continued to press the button.

“Well here,” the Vagabond pulled a dime from his wallet and handed it to her with his earthen fingers, “try this.” The lady took the dime and thanked the Vagabond as she went to put the dime through the slot. “Don't thank me yet, just wait to see if it works.”

The machine accepted the coin. The Lady smiled and pressed the button for the soda she desired. She reached down to the coin return slot and took the rejected dime as she grabbed her soda. “Thank you so much, do you want the dime it wouldn't take?”

The Vagabond shook his head and said no thank you. The Lady asked if he was sure and he continued to refuse the dime. She asked one more time and he shrugged and said, “Okay, okay. I don't want to be rude.” He took the dime and stored it in his wallet along with his various other coins before he turned to go sit down again.

The Lady continued with her day as she normally would have. She had her food, she returned to work, and at the end of the day while the moon waited for the last few beams of sunlight to recede behind the horizon, she walked home from work. She was quite content with her day, she walked with a certain fluttering feeling of weightlessness as she listened to some of her favourite songs. Slowly her sense of weightlessness began to grow heavy and she became aware that she had a follower close behind in her footsteps.

In an attempt to become certain as to whether or not this mystery person was indeed following her, and to shake her potential follower from her trail she began to walk an unusual route for herself. Each turn she took she could still hear her pursuer’s footsteps behind her, slowly closing the distance between them. In a seemingly frantic attempt to flee her pursuer she began to run, she turned randomly at each intersection.

Her pursuer followed with great speed and agility, it seemed nothing she could do would shake herself loose of this mystery person. She ran until she found herself nearly running into a wall, she had run down a dead end alleyway and she turned to put her back against the wall and face her mystery pursuer.

She found herself face to face with the Vagabond from earlier. His face was crinkled in a wide smile and his face was covered with more dirt than she had remembered. “Thank you for the dime.” She said cautiously, “I really appreciated it.”

“No problem.” Said the Vagabond with a shrug, “I was hoping I would see you again.” His teeth looked sharper than before, the Lady noted.

“Is that so?” She said as she backed slightly further into the wall, bracing herself against it with her hands flat on the grimy surface.

“Yeah,” he chuckled a deep and throaty chuckle that seemed to echo against the walls of the dead end, “I realized after you left that I forgot to ask you for a hug.” His smile seemed genuine, the Lady felt slightly calmer at the sight.

“I'm sorry, I don't really like hugs.” The Lady lied, “They make me feel uncomfortable.” She hoped she could navigate through this situation without provoking him to violence.

“Okay, okaaay.” The Vagabond's body language was very submissive as he backed away slightly in such a way to suggest the Lady could walk past him and leave.

The Lady took this opportunity to cautiously walk around the Vagabond towards the only exit from the alley.

“I don't suppose you would want to share some salad with me now?” The Vagabond's voice called out just before the Lady had the chance to turn the corner and walk out of sight.

The Lady didn't turn to face him right away, her lips parted in a broad smile. She refrained from laughing, but not so far as to keep her shoulders from shuddering ever so slightly. The Vagabond looked at her with an open and expectant expression, patiently he waited for a response. After a few more moments the Lady finally turned to face the Vagabond before she made her answer, “I'm so glad you asked.” Her voice took on a strange heightened pitch and sounded strained, “I would love to share some food with you.”

The Vagabond smiled and his face crinkled up slightly with joy as he began to rummage through his overused bag in search of the salad.

“However,” the Lady interrupted him, “it is not salad that I would like to share.”

The Vagabond looked up at her and nodded before returning his focus to his bag, “I think I might still have some bagels left.”

“Nor do I wish to share bagels.” Her voice still sounded strained and cracked at odd times.

The Vagabond looked up at her again then down at his bag in confusion. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable. “I don't...” His brows furrowed with thought, “I don't have anything else though.” He looked down towards his left side, “I might have enough to get us something to share from the store.” He looked up with a smile that seemed more forced now, “I just have to count my money first to see how much I have.”

Laughter burst forth from the Lady's lips, it was high and shrill and cut through the air and hit the Vagabond in his core and forced a shutter, he couldn't help but stop everything he was doing, all thoughts left his head for a few moments as he tried to recuperate from the terrible sound that was spewing from somewhere within the Lady. It sounded like it came from something living inside her. The Lady's laughter subsided for a few moments only long enough for her to say, “What we will share I will provide. At least initially.”

The Vagabond tried to smile, unsuccessfully, “You know what, I don't want to bother you. I think I'll go now.” He started to move towards the exit from the alley but the Lady positioned herself to block his departure.

“No, no, no. Really, it's no bother at all.” Traces of the Lady's terrible laughter still sounded in the harsh notes of her voice. She reached into her bag without even glancing down and pulled out a partially decayed severed head that seemed to have been mutilated but still held some traces of humanity warped by the contortion provided from a death in agony.

The Vagabond recoiled in terror and tried to run past her. He was much larger than the Lady and he decided he would escape simply by pushing past her. He ran as fast as he could through the short distance between them and tried to knock her over as he made his escape. His body hit hers and instead of escaping he found himself rebounding off her body and he fell to the ground.

The Lady's face was unnatural and alarming. He tried to get up but the Lady calmly sat herself down on his torso, just above his pelvis before he had a chance to escape. “This was my friend,” the Lady began to explain, “She was so lovely.”

The Vagabond looked at the severed head that the Lady held dangling by the hair in front of him. He would not have been able to decipher that the head had once belonged to a woman, he struggled to even recognize it as human. He squirmed and tried to understand how such a seemingly small person could weigh so much.

“I truly liked her, really I did.” The Lady brought her free hand up to her chest and made a crossing motion, “cross my heart and hope to die.” Her smile widened unnaturally as she felt the vagabond trying to free himself from beneath her. “I liked her, and I like you! So I'm going to share someone I like with someone I like. I like that, it has good symmetry.” She paused for a moment to ponder something. The Vagabond struggled against her in horror of what she might be thinking of. The Lady took a deep breath in and out then continued, “You are so kind, and there's nothing kinder than sharing a meal.” Shrill laughter filled the spaces between her singsong words and made what she said nearly indecipherable, “Maybe we can hug it out later!”

The Vagabond then watched in horror as the Lady ripped a piece of what he thought must be the face of her friend's severed head away with her teeth. She then placed the head on the ground with careful deliberacy before she placed both her palms on his shoulders and pressed him harder into the ground. She leaned down and rubbed the bloody and slightly rotten flesh against his face as he tried to turn away from the rancid smelling meat.

The Lady scowled and moved her hands away from his shoulders, grabbing a hold of his face and pressing her chest into his so hard that he struggled to breathe. She forced his mouth open and shoved the human flesh inside, she closed his mouth and held it shut with her hand, and covered his nose to prevent him from breathing until he finally had to swallow. She removed her hand and the Vagabond began to choke and cough.

“tisk, tisk, tisk.” The Lady shook her head as she leaned back, cackled and grabbed the head again, “That's not a very good boy.” She shook her head a few more times before she tore another piece of flesh away from the head and forced the Vagabond to have another piece.

By the time that the Lady had finished “sharing” her meal with the Vagabond, the last remnants of sunlight had well disappeared far behind the hills outside the town and the stars shone brightly in the sky with no moon to greet the eye. The Vagabond had thrown up a few times, each time the Lady made that same “tisk” sound while she shook her head and she'd say, “such a naughty boy. Do you not appreciate my kindness? Tisk, tisk, tisk. So ungrateful. You asked to share a meal with me.”

The Vagabond tried to curl into a ball beneath the Lady, he tried to be as far away from her despite having been pinned, and he tried to make himself seem as small as he could. He had no other thoughts in his head aside from his desire for all this to stop. The Lady sat up one last time and looked at the decapitated head which she held in her hand by the ragged and bloody mop of hair that remained atop it's skeletal features. There no longer remained enough flesh for her to tear anything from it. So instead she looked at the Vagabond and sweetly asked with a smile, “do you mind if I finish her off?”

The Vagabond shook his head with wide, terrified eyes gleaming through the darkness, “No, no, go ahead. By all means.” He tried to seem friendly, forced a smile and choked on fake laughter.

The Lady laughed at this, “What a lovely pun!” she exclaimed before she began to lick the slight amounts of tissue from the head. She soon finished and replaced the head into her bag, “I never abandon my friends.” She said with a smile.

The Vagabond tried to say something about how that was very kind of her, but he found himself too powerless to attempt to speak again. The Lady delicately draped herself over the Vagabond and began to caress his face with her soft, dainty fingers. She hummed contently as she rubbed her face into the crook of his neck. The Vagabond's heart raced as he attempted to remain calm, perhaps if he was very still she would forget about him and walk away. Crazier things have happened.

The cool air of the night began to wear away most of the warmth from the Vagabond, even with the Lady laying on him he found himself beginning to freeze; he started to shiver. He did his best to keep still, but his body betrayed him, soon he could feel his teeth chattering against his will. The Lady looked up at him, “You're getting cold.” Her voice was full of concern stained with the slightest tinge of annoyance. She nestled her face in closer to the crook of his neck, her nose poking into his skin. She could feel his racing pulse, she moved her lips so as to just graze his flesh. Her lips parted, exposing her teeth, she inhaled deeply to ascertain his scent. She hummed, “Almost all done.” She laughed before abruptly fleeing, effectively disappearing.

The Vagabond slowly raised himself up onto his elbows, his entire body trembled so fervently that he could barely hold his own weight. He looked all around. He got up slowly and looked around some more, slowly he moved forward towards the exit from the alleyway; cautiously he peaked around the corners. Upon seeing that there was no one else around he began to run as fast as he could without collapsing in whatever direction was available to him. He ran until he felt his stomach begin to contract and he turned to the side to allow the vomit to rush up through his esophagus and escape his mouth onto the pavement. He then passed out, nearly landing in the puddle of bloody vomit that contained human flesh.

...

The Vagabond awoke the next day in the middle of a busy street as the passersby kicked him without notice on their daily commute. He shuffled over to the wall of the nearest building and wrapped his arms around his legs. He couldn't remember exactly what had happened the night before. He had a vague recollection of some nightmare which left an extremely unsettled feeling in his stomach and left his heart fluttering rapidly in his chest; it felt sticky.

He looked around at the people who passed him by. He found himself very skeptical of the people around him and their motives. He saw one of the people with whom he regularly chatted with, they locked eyes for a moment and the Vagabond found himself averting his gaze. The friend approached the Vagabond and tried to start a conversation. The Vagabond did not acknowledge his friend immediately. The friend continued to try to speak to the Vagabond, he asked him if he was all right, he asked him what was wrong. The friend tried to put his hand on the shoulder of the Vagabond but was rebuffed.

The Vagabond saw the look of hurt in the friend's facial expression and he tried to excuse himself, “Sorry man, I just- I just had a really fucked up dream last night.” He looked around and tried to blink away the tears that were forming and cleared his throat in an attempt to steady his shaky voice, “it's got me feeling really weird.”

“Ah man, that's too bad.” The friend paused for a moment while he considered whether or not he should press further, “What was this dream about man?”

The Vagabond shifted awkwardly, “I don't even remember.” He forced himself to laugh, he smiled wide which caused the skin around his eyes to crinkle in a mockery of his normal jovial way. He might have fooled the friend had it not been for the dullness of his eyes and their failure to light up with his laughter.

The friend sat down next to the Vagabond and looked at him with serious concern. “Really man, you can tell me anything. Are you going to be okay? Because I can see you're not okay now.”

The Vagabond felt extremely uncomfortable sitting so close to another person. He slid over a few inches to give himself more room to breathe before he finally answered, “Thanks man, I know. I just really don't remember what happened. I wish I did.” He shrugged.

The friend noticed the Vagabond's desire to have a little extra distance, so he shifted the other way allowing for even more room between them. “That's too bad, maybe if you could remember what happened you wouldn't feel so bad.”

The Vagabond nodded.

“If you do remember what happened, or if you need anything- anything at all- just let me know. You know I always got your back.” The friend smiled. The Vagabond managed a small, sincere smile in return. The friend's smile grew at this, “That's what I like to see. Hang in there pal.” He looked up and around at the nearby restaurants, “Do you wanna share some food?”

The Vagabond's entire body stiffened and he shook his head in minute gestures, “No. Please no. Oh god, no; NO!” The Vagabond rapidly lost control over the volume and tone with which he spoke. He backed further into the wall and became overwhelmed with an inability to escape. The friend tried to calm him, tried to understand what was happening. The vagabond's gut wrenched and he threw up, nearly dirtying his friend in the process.

People all around were watching the spectacle, tens of unimpressed and unsympathetic faces watched as the Vagabond slowly grew quieter and more distressed looking as he gagged and dry heaved. The friend decided it would be best for the Vagabond to take him to the park, under the bridge where no one would disturb them so that he could calm down in peace; and so that no one would phone the police.

It was nearly evening when the Vagabond calmed down and regained his sense of what was happening in the present moment. The friend watched the Vagabond cautiously and when the Vagabond once again initiated eye contact the friend once again asked what was going on.

The Vagabond rubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath in, then out. “I really don't know. I just remember there was this little lady and she wanted to share a meal with me.”

The friend smiled, “but that sounds nice.”

The Vagabond couldn't repress the bitter laughter that escaped his lips, “Not like this.” His words were spoken in a gasp, he could barely keep himself from weeping. “I feel so paralyzed when I think about it, I feel really, really sick.”

The friend waited to see if the Vagabond would continue, when silence was met with more silence he said, “But it was just a dream, right?”

“I don't know. I don't know!” The Vagabond was quickly growing more and more agitated, “It felt so real, I don't know.”

...

Over the next few weeks the Vagabond found he struggled with everything: getting food, talking to people, remembering where he was; he jumped at nearly everything, he felt as though he were being followed but he never could explain how he felt to anyone- even though he tried. Slowly he withdrew more and more from those around him, he was afraid of the shadows and afraid of any streets that were dimly lit and/or unpopulated.

After about a month of the Vagabond's rapid decline the Lady reappeared from seemingly out of nowhere. Her smile was unnerving and unfaltering as she approached him. The Vagabond looked up at her from where he had been sitting surrounded by the shrubs that lined that part of the sidewalk. He choked on his saliva and began muttering to himself the word on repeat in a fright of echolalia. His volume consistently increased in volume as she steadily got closer. He began to laugh uncontrollably as tears streamed down his cheeks. His mind heaved and coiled under the crashing flash flood of horrific images of their shared meal. He could once again feel the immeasurable weight of the lady pinning him down as she had before, despite her having yet to even have come within an arm’s reach of him.

By this time he had mostly become accustomed to the psychological paralysis that would overcome him unexpectedly. There would be times like this in which he could not process any new information, too entranced by terrifying memories of what he was growing more and more to believe. This time felt different, he descended further and further into despair. His lungs sunk in his chest, he felt as though he had drank a vat of battery acid. His entire body shrunk as the Lady sat down next to him calmly. She never took her eyes off his.

The Lady put her hand on the knee of the Vagabond and she took in a deep breath of the fresh air around her. She loved the scent of pine and evergreen that abound in the park in which they currently sat. Softly and gently, the Lady leaned into the Vagabond’s body, she laced her fingers between his and held his hand. “We look like a couple” She laughed softly into his ear, snuggled in closer and nuzzled her nose into the softest part of his neck.

The Vagabond’s entire body shook and trembled at her touch. He could feel his esophagus, the sensation made him want to gag. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t think. Too many thoughts and none at the same time. No information was being processed.

The Lady smiled sweetly as she intently looked at every detail of his face. She squeezed his thigh lightly, “I think I’ll keep you.” She stood up and looked down at him where he stiffly attempted to nuzzle further into the bushes, as though the coniferous foliage would somehow hide him from this bizarre being. “Get up.”

The Vagabond shimmied further into the bushes and whimpered, nothing save for the word “no” echoed through his mind, escaping his lips in a repetition of monosyllabic sobs.

The lady’s soft face turned hard in a moment, “I said get up.” her tone was stern, her brows furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. “You are going to get up, and you are going to come with me.” She pointed at the ground between them, beckoning him to approach. The Vagabond looked up at the Lady, her face softened when his eyes met hers. He managed to cautiously shift a little closer to her. Her face beamed in a smile and she nodded encouragingly. He shifted yet a little closer and she pulled him up to his feet.

“You will live with me, we will eat together, you will be mine and eventually…” She trailed off as she brushed some of the dirt from his clothes and wiped the tears from his eyes. “Well, I'm sure you already know.” She smiled wide and broad as she put her arm around the Vagabond and pulled him towards her as she began to walk.