The day the photocopier rebelled

It began like any other Monday.

the coffee machine was broken (again), the air conditioner was either too cold or hot (no in-between) and rabi from finance already arguing with the vending machine. But tucked quietly in the corner of the third floor was the real villain of the day: copier-379x the ancient office photocopier. Nobody knew exactly when it arrived the company. Someone said it was older than CEO. Other claimed it printed fake IDs in college. What they did know was the copier-379 hand mood swings. At precisely 10:02 AM, thing went haywire. Linda from HR tried to make 5 copies of a training schedule. Instead, the copied printed 205 pages of something titled "Ancient Egyptian bird recipes. "Confused but committed, she tried again. This time it printed her wedding photos. Linda wasn't even married.

Then came Bob. Bob, the office optimistic believed, any problem could be solved with a smile and good restart. "Just need a little restart, "he said cheerfully, hitting the button. Bad idea the copier hissed beeped, and then shot out a paper like a cannonball, hitting Bob in the forehead with a copy of employee handbook from 2009. Panic spread Emails were sent. It was called, Marvin from tech support arrived chewing gum and wearing sunglasses like a movie hacker. "Let me talk it," he said dramatically. He plugged in his laptop. Light flickered. The copier groaned, suddenly, every screen in the office turned blue and displayed the words: I am copier 379-x I WILL NOT BE IGNORED," Phone ring, people screamed Someone fainted (no one knows why). Then came the demand. A printed page emerged: I want a daily dusting. No more double side printing. Bring back the office goldfish. I miss Gary. Free toner forever. Re name the office WI-FI: "copier kingdom." Marven baffled turned to the team, "it's sentient. And weirdly specific." Someone whispered, we should've to replace it 2015..." Finally, the CEO entered herself, holding a stapler like a weapon. Who's in charge here?''' The copier beeped and printed out: "Technically me now,'' There was silence. And then... The CEO laughed loudly. "Well played, copier-379x-," she said. "You win. You'll get your dusting. you'll get your WI-FI but only when you stop printing Bob baby photos." A final beep. A hum. A gentle puff of toner. A peace returned to office. From that day on, Copier 379x had its own little fan desk, a name tag that said." Employe of the month, "and its own login on the company network.

Nobody messed with the copier again. Except Bob.

And its still prints his baby photo every Friday.

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