the great office chair race of 2023

It all started with a typo,

Every Monday, our HR sends out motivational email to kickstart the week, you know the type__"Rise and shine, team! let's roll into the week with energy! but last Monday's email said, I quote: ''let's race in to week with energy!'' and that's how it began__the great office chair race of 2023.

at exactly 9:06 a.m., Marcus from sales wheeled into the hallway, tie flapping like a flag, coffee in one hand, and donut in other hand, yelling, first one to the break wins bragging rights for the week!'' I should've ignored him, I really should've, but something deep inside me __ probably the same part of the brain that's make people jumps off cliffs' wingsuits _ whispered: you can totally win this. I glanced at my rolling chair. it was sleek, ergonomic masterpiece with a lumber support and slightly squeaky left wheel. it was practically begging to be raced. second later, it was flying past Karen from accounts, who screamed as her stapler flew off her desk from breeze I created. Bob from IT joined in too__ his chair was missing an armrest titled slightly to the left, which made him look like a drifting race car in curves, by 9:12 a.m., at least 14 people were racing up and down the office corridor, using their feet's to propel themselves, Mario cart _style. someone played the fast and furious theme on a Bluetooth speaker, someone else started live streaming the chaos on Instagram. that's when things got out of hand. Samantha our normally reserved receptionist, somehow ad a helmet. where did she even get a helmet? she duct-taped a "#" sign to her chair and screamed, "no mercy!" as she zoomed past leagl. meanwhile, the Marketing team turned break room in to the pit stop, handing out mini cups of espresso like it was formula 1 pit crew. I swear someone even changed the wheel of chair with screwdriver. everything was going great until Chad from accounting tried to pull a Riskey move: a 360- degree spin before the finish line. his chair didn't approve of a such flair and promptly ejected him on to carpet like an angry bull. he slid into the printer, which made a terrible crunching noise, followed by sparks. I'm still not sure if the printer will ever recover. RIP.HP LaserJet. just i thought it couldn't get worse, our regional manager, Mr. Collins, walked in with clients. he stood there, froze, as Bob skidded past with as shredded tie and a- post it note stuck to his forehead that read "pit stop diva. ''Marcus bumped into filling cabinet. which flung open and dumped 200 expense reports onto the floor. Mr. Collins. blinked slowly, turned to the client, and said, ''As you can see, our company culture is Dynamic..." the client nodded speechless. long story short, HR sent another email later the day, it read: clarification: Monday's email meant to say, 'roll into the week,' not race,' please refrain from turning the office into the speedway, also Chad is fine, but the printer is not.'' we didn't get fired, but we did get assigned a new training module on "appropriate office mobility.'' was it worth it?

Abs0lutley. I didn't win the race (Samantha did-helmet power), but I did gain a reputation. people now nod at me like I'm some kind of underground legend. and hey, the office has never been more united. especially when we all pitched in to buy a new printer.

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