The Call

"The Call"

The calling began when I turned sixteen. Sixteen was the day my life ended. I remember it like yesterday. I woke up like any other girl on her sixteenth birthday, giddy and thrilled. I was able to wear makeup and storm around the house, demanding and princess like. My best friend, Max Serrano, was coming over and we were going to play our cruel, yet satisfying, games of dunk in the lake a little far out into the woods. It was by a little creek not too far from my house, beyond the countryside.

I remember Max's voice like no other, his laugh was infectious. I'm so sorry I never had the chance to tell my best friend that I loved him. In all the times I teased him, I never said it, I hope he knows that I do, somehow. My precious family I never got the chance to say goodbye. I couldn't kiss my mother goodbye or tell my father I was sorry for acting like a brat in all my years. Even little Izzie, my baby sister, I was never going to see her grow up, or see her sugar smile ever again.

When I think of my old life, there's always a sharp cold pain in my lungs, it sends a shiver through my bones and takes my breath away. I will never forget the day I slipped into the river and died, my soul took me somewhere I didn't belong. In endless time loops of reality, always forever cursed to live in other times, in other lives. My soul fought long and hard until a power I could never figure out controlled me where it wanted.

So deep in the creek, I couldn't see or feel the sun. As I sunk deeper into the creek I felt the life of my body slowly slipping away. I struggled to push to the surface, but my body kept holding me down as I sunk deeper into the darkness, I couldn't stop the force that would soon take me.

It was inevitable.

I was bound to live this cursed life. Perhaps as a lesson? Maybe. But what was it? I never truly understood. The first few cycles were the worst, but eventually, I stopped. I stopped trying to love new families, new places, new friends. My heart grew weary trying to understand why this was happening to me.

The first two times that I died I realized that on every sixteenth birthday that I live, I die the same day. Every time. The first I remember so vividly, the second was quite different, so awry and blurry. In my second life, I was a swimmer for Madison High School in New York, just after practice, I slipped and fell into the school's 30 foot deep pool and sank to the bottom as a stone. The third time that I died; I was in anguish that I had to leave a family I loved so dearly. I had a little sister named Paula, and two older brothers Nick and Toby.

The worst part, of my deaths was coming back to life. I would awake in my own body, but more confused than a newborn opening its eyes for the first time. I had new families who said they knew and loved me. These families would have pictures of me when I was little, but I didn't know them. I would have different kinds of names in unfamiliar parts of the world. I wanted it all to stop. I just wanted my life to end already, because of the empty hole inside of me, which could never be filled. I was tired. Tired of waking up to families I didn't know, but would soon love.

The first few deaths I didn't stop trying to search for my original family. I found out that every time they didn't exist. My inevitable defeat haunted me in endless hours of the days and nights.

I was a wandering soul without a true place to call home and stay for a while. Never was I allowed to live past sixteen.

Never.

On days where the Sun shined bright I remembered my mom's smell of blueberry pancakes or Izzie' s strawberry blond curls that never seemed to stay in one place, or my father's unrelenting questions. Or best of all Max' s witty comments and infectious smile. I could never be sad or angry around Max because he cared too much. He would annoy me to death, until I unknowingly gave in with a smile. These thoughts, in these seconds, made me shed tears, even into the cold brutal water, as I sunk even deeper.

My name is Cassie. Cassie Blake and this is my story.