Lost and Found

As I got dressed, I kept trying to forget what just happened .

Trying to forget why I was getting dressed in the first place.

He was gone . He was never coming back. Body soulless being dumped in the ground. He as in my husband , Amir. Amir was my love. He was my protection . He loved me and I loved him. The thought of this day never came to mind. I was so unprepared.

“ I don’t know if I can do this,” I thought to myself.

“Hey sweety you ready to go” said my mom as she put her arm around me gently. I could feel her energy , she was worried about me she could feel my pain and it was written all over my face.

How could he leave so suddenly?

“Yes I am ready”

Approaching the church . I seen so many cars. Almost as if it was a packed out club parking lot.

I know my dry sense of humor comparing this tragic moment to a club parking lot but no seriously who was my husband? . Who were all these people?

It was hard for me to even stand and get out the car but I managed and walked in the church door .

Everyone’s eyes were glued to me but it was one particular man in an all black suit that I couldn’t take my eye off of.

Something about the way he was looking at me gave me weird vibes as if he knew something or was trying to get my attention in some way. But I just ignored him and continued to find my seat.

I was speaking today. On behalf of my husband , me his wife at his funeral. So The man Was the least of my worries.

The funeral was off. Not just because of the obvious but because everyone there was so controlled . They were just all staring at me . “How did they know my husband?”

Amir was one of those secretive self made men. He didn’t have many friends and he didn’t have any family from what he told me. But he was loved by people all over. He was a real estate agent but I always figured it was more to it. I never asked because a part of me didn’t want to know and I could tell it wasn’t something he wanted me to know.

You are probably judging like “oh she didn’t know her husband” but honestly how many of us really know the people we love. Secrets are secrets and I was about to uncover some truths.

I spoke at the funeral, cried, and hugged everyone, even people I didn’t know. I had enough theatrics for a lifetime . I’m basically in a movie and I’m the starring character, the poor widow that really didn’t know squat about her husband.

As I walked vastly out the church building I heard,

“Excuse me miss” coming from a deep mysterious voice .

It was that same man. “What did he want Can’t he tell im a grieving?

“Yes”, I said pulling down my glasses a little so he could see my eyes and I could see his.

“I knew your husband, great man

I’m real sorry for your loss.

I came to give my respects and also give this to you”

He handed me a black book almost like a journal of some sort

“Thank you” I said and walked away.

I was to out of it and didn’t have the time or energy to talk to another human.

The journal did have me curious and the man that had the journal had me confused.

I got home and immediately opened the black book. The very first page had an A with a lock on it.

“This must be Amir’s” I said whispering as if someone could hear me.

I began flipping through the pages. There were journal prompts in there dated some years ago. It was back when he worked over seas in Italy before we got married. but that wasn’t the weird part. There was a map. The map was of this lake we went to on our first date “lake harbon.” It was a lake about an hour outside of Oklahoma City.

I was so exhausted I kept questioning if this was even real and not just this strange black book but this whole situation, Amir passing, the man, this book and now a map.

I contemplated back and forth between going to that lake and going to sleep but I couldn’t shake the curiosity.

When I got to the lake the sun was just now going down . It was beautiful it brought back so many memories.

The map was kind of easy to read . It was an x on the map and the x had my name beside it. “Chelsea“ it read in Amir’s handwriting.

I kept walking the path it said until it led me to this tree. This huge tree with beautiful roots. It was one of those trees from the Movies.

How did I miss this tree when we came here? This just goes to show you can miss the beauty in things if your not looking;

The tree had an obvious hole right in the center of it . But it was easy to miss if you were just walking and not paying attention.

I reached my hand in the hole and found a small key with a little note attached.

The note read

“Dear Chels, if you are finding this they won. There is so much I wish I could say but just know I’m sorry and you will be safe. No need to worry just follow these instructions. To the moon and back it’s us,

Love Amir”

The instructions read

*Use key to open door 100 ft and look left

*through the door there will be a safe on the right wall behind the book shelf as soon as you walk in.

*Combination is the day we met

*Grab the bag in the safe

*Dont open the bag

*Go straight to the airport Ticket will be emailed to you

*When you get to your destination you’ll know where to go

It was easy for me to Just up in leave because Amir was my life , my love , my family so I didn’t hesitate to follow his instructions. I trusted him even from the grave .

As I approached the airport I was nervous.

I was tempted to check the Bag. What was in it? And why didn’t he want me to open it?

I fought temptation and checked my ticket, it was a ticket to California, my home town. It’s funny because I begged Amir to move us there. I missed home. I wanted to be where it was familiar and also beautiful. It’s ironic and not surprising that he did this. Amir was so romantic and even in his passing he still managed to make me smile.

As I landed I headed straight out the door. I knew exactly where I was headed.

My home where I grew up In Fresno. My mom bought the house for us (me and my brother) for whenever we needed a place but I never thought I’d be returning in these circumstances.

When I got to the house the key to the door was in a flower pot my mom always used to use for the spare key.

The house looked the same. My room was still the same it was older than I remembered but same energy.

I didn’t hesitate when I got in the room I immediately opened the bag.

It was a small box like a jewelry box but it wasn’t jewelry in there.

It was money tucked in an envelope with a note attached.

“Use this $20,000 to start over, there is more where this came from.

See you soon,

Amir”

I had so many questions. $20,000 to start over? What is going on? There is more where what came from? What did he mean see me soon?

He was gone we just had his funeral.

My head was spinning I needed rest I couldn’t think anymore. This dream/nightmare needed to end.

Attempting to sleep I heard something, Like footsteps but I ignored it and continued to fall into a deep slumber.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my face. So gentle and loving . It was a familiar touch. I didn’t even wanna open my eyes because it felt like a dream, one of those you don’t wanna wake up from. Then I heard Amirs voice

“I can’t stay long but I had to see you, I love you.”

I immediately jumped up

“AMIR?”

But he was gone he was no longer there . Just the window open and curtains blowing.

Was I losing my mind?

“God give me a sign this is real” I shouted

And that’s exactly what happened. It was Amir’s watch that I got him for our anniversary sitting on the dresser. He never took the watch off he loved it to much. Along with the watch it was a small piece of paper that read,

“Don’t be afraid to start over you got this. See you soon. To the moon and back it’s us,

Amir.”