Including the Kitchen Sink

The hustle of the market was nothing more than a drone so early in the morning. Paul walked around, looking at all the shops. He needed to find a good gift for his roommate before he headed home. He only had a few days left on his trip. Nothing seemed the right fit. Food was too impractical. A book was too plain. Art wasn’t his roommate’s favorite. What he liked were danger and jokes. Paul picked up and then put back on the table a snow globe, and sighing as he continued walking. He was starting to think he would never find that elusive gift. Then he came to the end of the stalls. An aging woman with bags under her eyes smiled a crookedly wry smile. Her brown hair was tied up in a messy bun.

“Welcome to my shop. May I suggest the fireworks?”

Paul looked at everything on her table. To say it was eclectic would be an understatement. On the table were a saltshaker, a sled, a knife, and a beautiful display of fireworks set up to say, “Fifty percent off, buy us now.” He chuckled and took a picture to send to his roommate.

“I don’t know if my friend would like fireworks.” Paul knew perfectly well that they were, in fact, the gift he was looking for. He just didn’t want to buy the man he lived with something that could explode their apartment.

“Have a look at the tags but be wary of the price. Some items can hold a price too high for you to pay.” The shop owner’s warning gave chills to Paul. Subconsciously he knew what she meant. Consciously, nervous laugh. Shopping on a budget was easy, and the items on the table were cheap to start with.

Paul picked up the salt shaker. It read: “Fill me with salt, and I’ll only spill it all. Cost: good fortune.”

“How do you pay with good fortune,” Paul asked?

The shop owner smiled her coy smile. “You simply wish good fortune upon me.” She answered. Paul nodded. Sitting next to the salt shaker was a small packet of salt. Paul opened the packet and put it in the shaker. The instant it hit the table salt spilled out. Paul laughed.

“I hope you never have to use this salt shaker,” he said as he took a picture of the tag. The shop owner’s smile widened slightly, and she giggled gleefully. A man walking by fell right into Paul. In the split second, the two men made contact. Paul had been robbed blind. He dusted himself off, not realizing what had transpired, and moved on to the next item.

Paul read the tag on the sled. “To move me, simply place us in harm’s way. Cost: Safety.”

“I’m just full of questions for you today,” he chuckled. The shop owner smirked in silent response. “How do you pay in safety?”

“You’ll see.” The shop owner giggled.

Paul took out his phone to take a picture of the sled. He couldn’t get a decent pic in the darkness. He asked the shop owner if he could place it in the street to show his friend. She nodded in agreement, “Of course.”

The shop owner suggested toPaul that it would be fun to sit on the sled in the open street for the picture. Handing her his phone, he posed. As soon as he was posed perfect for the picture, a car came flying down the lane. Paul had just enough time to get out of the way before the car hit him. Unfortunately, the sled didn’t make it. Paul reached for his wallet, about to pay for the damage, when he finally realized it was gone. Panic-stricken, Paul ran over to the shop to see if he dropped it around there. Realizing he was pickpocketed, He slowly looked up at the shop owner, disheartened. Paul apologized for the damage and was quickly dismissed.

“Your debt has been paid.” The shop keeper said with a stern voice, waving her hand.

Paul smiled sheepishly, slowly starting to realize what was going on. He quickly read the tag on the knife, the closest item to him, and panic slowly starting to creep in.

“With Hell's heart, I stab at thee.” Paul laughed nervously.

“This tag has a book quo-.” As soon as he realized what happened, the knife was already in him. He looked at the knife, at the shop owner, and back at the knife before he managed to utter a few words.

“I should have just bought the fireworks.” Paul fell over and was dead before he even hit the ground.