Him & Her

Prologue

Why as teenagers, do we seem to be more like followers, than individuals? I can't understand it. The moment we hit high school, our singular identities turn into group identity; for example, jocks, cheerleaders, the debate team…you name it. It wouldn't matter if your interests were elsewhere, it wouldn't matter if your parents forced you to follow in their footsteps and it didn't matter what you truly desired deep down…what mattered was how you were perceived by your peers.

And how did my peers see me?

I was the jock, a very smart jock too. So, you can imagine what my role in high school was. Yes, the king of Infinity High School; my domain, my playground, and with every king there is a queen behind him. She compliments him, supports him, makes him look like one of the strongest rulers, and makes everyone think he knows what's best for everyone else.

See, that's the thing. I may have been popular, smart, and deliciously handsome (as my girlfriend likes to call me), but I was no king. I was just another handsome trendsetter for all the students to fall in line with. To be perfectly honest, I despised my role in high school. I longed to become more than what my fellow peers expected.

Every single time I tried to talk this over with my girlfriend, Scarlett, she'd shoot me down…instantaneously. She would say and I quote, "baby, you're a football player. Stick to what you know best: football." Then she'd leave it at that. I never spoke about it again. What was the point? It was clear to me she didn't understand my turmoil and pain at having to carry everybody.

I decided to make changes to my outlook on life and my role in high school. It didn't go as well as I planned, so everything went back to normal and I was left with the same painful, empty feeling inside. That is until I restarted my friendship with Jade Valentine.

The love of my life.

Jade Valentine was a social outcast; a nerd. Well-liked by the teachers and academically superior. And Scarlett hated her with a passion. She'd revel in Jade's unhappiness, as soon she turns a corner, she'd find something to torture Jade with. For the most part, she ignored her, which prompted Scarlett to act even more horrible to her. She desperately wanted to cause her misery. I never understood why she hated her so much. At least back then I didn't understand, now I do. It was insecurity and envy.

Some of that was my doing because my feelings for Jade grew over time. She tutored me in Calculus because I was failing and needed a C to stay on the football team. My teacher recommended a tutor and I chose Jade. It was a win-win for me. We've all known each other since grade school, and ever since I had a thing for Jade. This was the perfect opportunity for me to not only boost my grade but grow closer to Jade. I should have thought of this before.

At first, I thought my plan had worked…well it did, just not the way I planned. We became friends again, yes, but Jade would never let it go farther than that. This confused me. I got the feeling that she wanted me, had feelings for me, and yet, we still haven't taken our relationship to the next level. We never did. We continued on as if nothing had ever happened between us.

Now our 10-year high school reunion is weeks away and I'm left wondering:

What in the hell happened?

X xXxXxXx

Four years.

Four years of overachieving in school, four years of being tortured for being smart, liked by the teachers…four years of nothing but misery. It's a wonder we even survived. We, being the social outcasts. No matter how hard I was ignored or picked on, I pulled through. I have no idea how though. I had a lot of pent up emotions inside of me, so I wrote them down in my journal. Every single thing I've witnessed, everything I have ever thought have all been entered into my journal and yes, that includes my feelings for Alexander Cross. I had a huge crush on him, and I knew it was never going to happen. Especially with the queen herself, Scarlett Meyers on his arm.

Alex and Scarlett were the couple of Infinity High school…and the banes of my existence. But for different reasons.

Scarlett absolutely hated me. No matter where I was, what I was doing or for whatever reason, she would be there to torment me. And every single time I endured it; I had to swallow my anger and walk away. I despised it very much. My mother liked to call that character building and inner strength. As a teenager, I was like, "yeah right." But as an adult, it's a totally different story. The whole inner strength and character-building speech did nothing for me in high school; my self-esteem and confidence were non-existent…nowadays however, it works wonders.

If I had known then, what I know now, high school would have been a completely different experience for me. When the last day of school came, I bellowed with joy. I was happy when I graduated. It all finally came to an end. The politics, the cool kids, everything. No more bullshit. Although, senior year should have been the best year for me… it was not. I'll tell you why: Alexander, the other bane of my existence. Sadly, it was hard for me to hate him because I liked him too much. He was wrapped up in Scarlett most of the time, so I never dared to tell him so.

For a long time, he ignored me, said nothing to me, and out of the blue I'm tutoring him for calculus. Imagine my surprise when we start hanging out more and actually having fun together, on top of helping him with math. Naturally I grew suspicious. Where is all this coming from? Why bother with me all of a sudden? Did Scarlett put him up to this? Is there some elaborate scheme to humiliate me in front of the student body? Turns out there wasn't. I don't even think she knew about this.

That's not what shocked me though. What shocked me was his confiding in me; telling me his desires, and how lost he feels. He admitted he was unhappy with his life, with himself and didn't feel like he was meeting his true potential. I don't know what caused all this, but I was pretty sure Scarlett knew nothing of how he felt. I was not surprised by this. We're talking about the queen bee here. She was rich, and beautiful; making her a shoo-in to be the queen of Infinity High. But most queens in history were kind to their people…Scarlett was not.

She was often cruel, obnoxious, entitled, and spoiled. Why anyone wanted to be her friend was totally lost on me. To everyone else, she was pure perfection. Because with every queen, there is a king that puts her on a pedestal. He showers her with love, with gifts, and protects her from the bad elements (geeks and nerds) of their kingdom. Most importantly of all, he defends her honor. To everyone else, Scarlett and Alex were the perfect couple. If I were like anyone else, I'd agreed wholeheartedly. But I'm not.

I knew better than this.

Needless to say, senior year was an interesting year for me. And now that our 10-year reunion is weeks away, I'm left wondering:

What the hell?