Heavenly Seas Chapter One

The Figgs family consisted of an alcoholic socialite and three pampered sons. Lady Elodie Figgs had a knack for turning misfortune into opportunity. She earned her grey hairs through social media. Rumour has it that she made herself a widow.

Oceans and sunshine surrounded Elodie. She could see a crow trying to blend with a flock of seagulls at the level of her eyes. One for sorrow: Elodie could relate.

Lord Figgs choked on his lamb shank. Some called it an accident: others, it a carefully timed farewell. Journalists concluded Elodie poisoned him. Strangers accused her of incest, drug rings and every crime one could think of. If only Lord Figgs was still alive to debunk the rubbish.

The police found no evidence of foul play. The coroner’s verdict: natural causes. They still blame her. And the world questioned why she drank. Last time she checked, being menopausal wasn't illegal. It was a miracle her favourite mauve dress still fit her after twenty years.

She wished doctors would shut up about her liver and cholesterol. Private or NHS, the advice was the same: take your pills, no more alcohol, fatty foods and unprotected sex. What a cheek, they would never say that to a man, would they? It was bad enough they insisted on stabbing her with needles just to step out of the country.

What better way to celebrate clearing her name than a two-month cruise with her boys? Calvin, Theo and Heath were the only ones who remained by her side. She was proud of them, even if they weren’t all the entrepreneurs she hoped they would be.

Calvin was the slimmer and living version of her husband. He looked the part as the owner of Figgs Manor Farms. Even away from the farm, he wore his flimsy hat and checkered top. His hatred towards some social movements was the bane of his existence. “Those bloody vegans,” Calvin hissed with his hands in his pocket. “Stealing our jobs! If the government don’t do something we’ll lose the farm. Half the village will be unemployed and the public will stave.”

“Well, you’ll be alright,” Theo said, flicking his black hair. “You got your Only Fans.”

“I don’t have an Only Fans. Don’t be daft.”

Theo was the most beautiful man in the world. She didn't mind being biassed as he was her favourite son. Sometimes Elodie wished she named him Prince Charming because of his humour and handsome looks. What more could you want in a man?

Her eldest sons glanced at Heath, who snacked on carrot sticks and hummus. Heath’s passion for animals made him the black sheep of the family where her eldest two mixed business and pleasure, Heath made veganism his religion. “If you spent less money on your cars and more money on improving the welfare of your animals, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“Heath…” Theo stared at Heath. “They were trespassing. They're lucky I didn't bring my rifle out.”

“They weren’t,” Heath said. “I invited them. I told them they were welcome to a peaceful protest.”

“Peaceful protest, my arse!” Calvin snapped. “They were glueing themselves to my tractors. One of the ladies gave Daisy the cow a heart attack, skinny dipping in my lake. She could have been done for gross indecency.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t our mother?” Heath said, laughing.

Calvin slapped Theo’s shoulder. “You doughnut.”

Heath stared at Calvin with his arms folded. “There’s no excuse to leave your animals covered in blood and faeces.”

“Come on you two!” Theo brought both brothers together into a group hug. “What’s the point in arguing? You know it makes our dear mother upset.”

Heath crossed his arms again and sulked by the balcony. “Cruising is destroying our oceans. Mother Earth is raging.”

Calvin rolled his eyes and flicked Heath’s nose. “Shut up you great tree hugger. You should be grateful. It's a free holiday: it’s magnificent.”

Theo grinned. He took his thirteenth selfie of the day. “I can't wait to party with the captain and go with the flow.”

“Guys!” Elodie yelled. “Please… shut up! I’m trying to concentrate.”

Calvin crossed his arms. “Concentrate on what?”

“The tranquillity.” Listening to the three of them argue was like being at home. She kept her eyes on the calm waves as the islands sank into nothing.

Things got better until the fourth glass of wine. The metallic taste tingled her throat. The moment a lump touched her lips she spat everything back in the glass. Elodie pointed at her sons. “Which one of you did it?”

The three men stood in silence with pale faces. A hairy shrivelled human toe floated in Elodie’s glass.

This is your captain speaking. Due to a freak accident, we regretfully cannot provide red wine until investigations are complete. On behalf of all the cabin crew, we apologise for any inconvenience caused and are happy to recommend alternative beverages.

Captain Mortville later paid a personal visit to Elodie’s suite with a plethora of support. The best was the complimentary crate of white wine. Her three sons had left for food. She could picture the dining experience. Delighted with his plate of fish and cheese, Calvin would move the prawns’ heads so their beady black eyes would face Heath. Heath pretending not to notice would tuck into a soya yoghurt and a handful of grapes.

As for Theo, he’d be too busy taking pictures of the food, then later complain it had gone cold. Perhaps a group of ladies will invite them to their cabin room. They were ever so predictable even in their twenties.

“Nobody has reported any missing toes,” Captain Mortville said, with a forced smile. “All 666 passengers and 521 crew members have been accounted for. Of course, when we reach Bilbao, we will need to send the toe off to be analysed to see if it is an actual toe.”

“So nobody has been murdered?” She found it hard to believe. Of course, they would try to hush it all up if there was. It must have been planted during the cruise. Everything was meant to be fully scanned before coming on.

This had to be somebody’s idea of a joke.

Elodie shivered. A few hours ago she was sunbathing in a bikini. Now she had a woolly jumper over her dress. On the odd occasion, she sensed a cold hand on her shoulder, but the captain was sitting on the sofa opposite her.

She could see his white strands poking out of his hat. He stood up and moved closer towards the door. Could he see the hand on her shoulder too? “Is there anything else I can help you with Lady Figgs?”

Elodie smirked and lifted her skirt. He wasn't that handsome, but anybody would do. A simple distraction went a long way. “You could help me destress.”

“Lady Figgs!” He pointed at her shoulder. “There’s something on your shoulder.”

“What?” She grasped her shoulder and gasped. So he could see it. She tilted her head towards her right shoulder and flinched. She couldn’t see or feel it anymore. “What do you mean?”

“There was something there!” Captain Mortville's finger aimed directly at Elodie.

“But can’t see anything!”

He gasped. “It’s still there.”

Elodie slapped her shoulder and brushed it off. “Is it still there?”

“It’s gone. Perhaps it was the lightning. I’ll get somebody to look at it tomorrow.” Captain Mortville pretended to cough. His hands quivered beneath his gloves. “Now, I’m afraid I must return to duty.”

“Oh must you?” She asked, winking. Sometimes she got so lonely since her husband’s death, that she was willing to spend time with any human.

“I’m afraid so.”

Elodie shook her skirt down. “I see what it is. You have other birds to attend to.”

Captain Mortville shook his head. “No, it’s against the code for staff to initiate relationships with guests.”

“You’re not a cabin crew.” She thought a man of his status should be able to do what he wanted.

“If the crew must obey rules then so should I!”

“Come on!” Elodie bounced up and rammed Captain Mortville by the door. Unnerved by his fishy breath, she smirked. “It’s been a long day and we’re both stressed out. I just had a dead man’s toe in my drink. I need something to help me forget. Maybe you can suggest a nice place for us to relax.”

The door swung open. Her three sons had returned. Her younger two gazed at her with shock. Calvin on the other hand, looked as if he was ready to start a riot.

“MOTHER!” Out cried Calvin's voice with fiery cheeks. “STOP IT!”

Elodie took a step back and straightened her hair. It's not the first time she's had the boys walk in on her, but never all three. “Oh, hello there.” She took a deep breath and pretended everything was fine.

“I’m going to the library,” Heath mumbled then strolled to the left corridor. “I signed up for the yoga class too. I won’t be back in the cabin till ten.”

Theo shrugged his shoulders and hopped to the right corridor. “I’m going to investigate the ballroom. You might not see me until the morning.”

Calvin was the only one to stay. “Sir, I’m so sorry about this.” Good old Calvin was always there to save the day. His hard work kept the family out of debt and her out of jail.

“No worries,” Captain Mortville responded with a pale face. “These things do happen. Now if any of you need anything please let one of us know. Goodbye for now.” He limped out of the room, taking a frosty hand with him.

The warmth returned. Off came the woolly jumper.

Calvin crossed his arms and glared at Elodie. “Mother, you are so disgusting sometimes.”

“It was just a friendly conversation that got out of hand.”

Calvin didn't believe her. She could tell with the narrow eyes. To be fair, he had heard it all before. Calvin was the least gullible of the three. “You know what the doctor said.”

“Yes…” She sighed. “Be as good as a nun. How boring.”

“You’re still not taking it seriously. It's for your good,” Calvin roared. “You don't want to catch chlamydia again.”

She never let another man control her since her husband’s death, but when her eldest told her to do something, she was compelled to do it.

“I never caught it,” Elodie said in disbelief. “Someone gave it to me.”

Calvin yanked his mother by the shoulder. “Now you listen to me! If you keep on this path, you're going to wind up bed-bound in hospital because of an alcohol-induced coma.”

“Come in!”

A tiny maid with braids tiptoed inside Elodie’s room with assorted cakes and biscuits. It was her dinner for the evening. Overwhelmed by the toe incident, she chose to remain in her cabin. She could get used to the regal treatment. “Good evening Lady Figgs. I’m Rose, I’ve brought your order in.”

Rose Constantia was a pale-looking thing with funny teeth. She reminded Elodie of somebody she went to school with decades ago.

“Oh, you’re a diamond. Thank you very much.” Yes, Elodie was diabetic. And no, she didn’t care.

“How are you feeling?” Rose asked, smiling at Elodie like an old friend.

Elodie giggled. “I’m drunk, but content!”

Rose laughed back. “You have lovely boys.”

“Yes,” Elodie said, tucking straight into the gold macrons. “They’re very good. I’m proud of them all.”

“I have five daughters,” Rose said. Elodie almost spat her food out as she jumped. “My husband wanted a boy though.” she continued, as Elodie observed her youthful physique. “Alas, it wasn’t to be. I can’t have any more.”

Elodie’s eyes lit up as she gulped white wine. “Just out of curiosity. And if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?”

“45.”

“What?” The first thing she wanted to ask was the name of her plastic surgeon. Rose looked like she should still be in school.

“Are you okay, Lady Figgs?”

“Oh yes, sorry it just surprised me. You’re older than you look. I don’t mean to be rude but, who’s the name of your plastic surgeon?” No way could a lady in her mid-forties be so white and wrinkle-free.

Rose laughed. “I don’t have one.”

“You must have a great routine.”

“I love working on Heavenly Seas,” Rose said. “It’s one of the best ships I ever worked for.”

“So working hard is your secret?”

“Well, I don’t drink alcohol. I keep myself busy, I eat healthy and I keep smiling. That’s all there is to it.”

“The complete opposite to me then.”

“I also avoid the sun and meditate daily.”

“You must be very disciplined.”

“Are you sure you’re alright, Lady Figgs?” Rose asked again. “I can call the nurse for you if you like?”

“That’s not necessary.” Elodie could not believe how easy it was to trust Rose. “It’s just I’ve been feeling something cold touch me. Can you see it?”

Rose shook her head. “I can’t see anything. Is it your first time on a cruise?”

“My first cruise in ten years.”

“Maybe it’s the seasickness kicking in. It will soon pass.” Maybe she had a point. She remembered Calvin once saying her hallucinations were terrible when she mixed drinks, but she only had wine that day. “Anyway,” Rose continued with a beaming smile on her face. “Who’s your favourite son?”

It was a random question, but one she had an answer to.

“I guess I shouldn’t, but I’d say Theo.”

“I agree. He’s very handsome.” Rose bowed. “It’s been lovely talking to you Lady Figgs, but I’m afraid I must go.”

“Okay, see you Rose.”

After Rose left, Elodie reflected on her choice of words. Calvin worked hard and accomplished so many things. A magazine once named him ‘Farmer of the Year’ for the 5th year running. It was always Theo she put on a higher pedestal because of his looks. How wrong was she?

Then there was her youngest, she couldn’t think of anything. He was so thin, he could disappear into the atmosphere and she wouldn’t know any better. All the money they earned and burned and they were all miserable as sin. She drank to forget, but it only made her memories stronger.

Calvin was the only one to return that night. He had no idea where the other two were. He scowled at her again, just as his father used to when she raided the fridge. “Mother…how many of those cakes have you eaten?”

“Oh, only twelve.” To be honest, she had lost count after five.

His voice heightened. “Are you actively trying to kill yourself?”

“What do you mean?” Elodie muttered with her arms folded.

“Have you forgotten you’re diabetic?”

“I’m on holiday, it doesn’t count. Stop getting mad at me.”

Calvin sighed. “I’m not mad at you. It just saddens me how little you care for yourself.”

All she wanted was a good time. Waking up to a different country, enjoying cultures few get to appreciate, but with the way Calvin nagged, they may as well be home.