Finding Ever After

"Lani." 

*Silence* 

"Lani." I turned over as I began to recognize that I was indeed hearing my name. It was my girlfriend. I peeked my eyes open and then saw on our nightstand the clock had 2 AM sprawled across. Slowly my eyes began to adjust to the darkness with nothing but the moonlight from the night sky gleaming through the window, and I could see she was looking at me with her big brown eyes filled with dismay and frustration. 

"What's wrong?" I asked, assuming nothing but the worst for her to be waking me up in the middle of the night. 

"The power went off." I absently blinked at her, taking in what she had just relayed to me. 

"Well, there's nothing we can do about it right now, let's just go to sleep for the night, and we'll deal in the morning. Did you report it to the power company?" Even though I was only five minutes awake and conscious, I was still checking off the things in my mental list, making sure everything was squared away; that was my job, keeping up with the house. Rowen's was everything else, and she did it very well. 

"I started to, but then my paranoia set in, so I woke you up instead." Rowen began to explain how and why her paranoia began when I noticed a flicker of light coming from our bedroom closet. 

"Rowen, what is that light coming from the closet?" We both looked towards the closet in bewilderment because neither of us had an explanation. 

We anticipatingly eased off the bed and walked towards the closet, unsure of what we would find, and once we reached the doorknob, I swung open the door, ready for anything. I heard Rowen take a breath behind me as our eyes began to adjust to what was none other than our dog, Zeke, with one of our tablets. He was staring intently at something on the screen, and I laughed aloud he had really scared me. I turned around to laugh with Rowen when I noticed her face had turned completely ashen and she slowly walked back from the closet. 

"What's wrong?" I asked her and walked away from Zeke. 

"We don't have a dog." She stared blankly towards me. 

I turned back around quickly, and Zeke was gone. The only thing left in his place was what looked like a little black book. I picked up the book, extremely confused and still sleepy. I noticed Rowen had started to pace around the room, trying to make sense of what she'd just seen; meanwhile, I opened the book. 

No sooner as my eyes were honing in on the pages of the book, our power came back on. I looked behind to see if Rowen was relieved, but I didn't see her anywhere in sight. I placed the book on my nightstand and went to find her, but I couldn't shake this feeling that something had changed. 

"Rowen!" I called throughout the house and got no response. 

"Rowen!" 

"Who's Rowen?" Judah asked as he walked from the kitchen and kissed me on the cheek. 

"Rowen. Rowen. My--" I couldn't find my train of thought, I saw Zeke, our midnight black labrador, come from around the kitchen counter holding his toy, and I immediately grabbed it and began to play with him. 

Judah was sitting at the kitchen table reading a book while eating some french fries, his legs were crossed, and he seemed to really be enjoying the book. After playing with Zeke for a moment, I was tired and ready to go to bed. I walked over to Judah and kissed him goodnight, and walked back up the stairs. I went to switch off the lights and got an overwhelming feeling that I couldn't quite describe. 

Once in our bedroom, I immediately began to undress and headed over for a shower. My mind started to drift off as the hot steam of the shower flooded our bathroom, and I realized I had been in here for a while. I tucked myself into bed when I noticed a familiar little black book on my nightstand. 

I opened the book, and my mind instantly flooded with memories. I remembered a girl, a beautiful girl, with big brown eyes, curly hair, and a laugh that warmed my entire core. Suddenly, an overwhelming amount of sadness overcame me, and I didn't know why. I felt my face, and a single tear slid down. What is happening to me? I looked back down at the book flipping through pages and the more I flipped the more I remembered. Holding hands, walking through parks, picking pumpkins, trips to amusement parks, and even buying our first house together. Nothing made sense, how is it that I'm here with Judah and Zeke but I have memories with this girl... I don't even know her name. 

I continued to flip through pages when I was stopped in my tracks, a check for $20,000 fell from out of the book. It was addressed to me and someone named Rowen Sullivan, instantly something clicked inside of me. 

The girl-- her name was Rowen. 

I laid in the bed in utter disbelief. Rowen was my girlfriend? Rowen is my girlfriend? But where is she? Where am I? 

As if in a daze, I came to instantly when Judah walked through our bedroom door towards the bathroom to take his nightly shower. I followed him with my eyes as I thought to myself that this is the man I loved wholeheartedly, and without a doubt, he is about to become my husband. After mentally reassuring myself that my life was in fact my life, I questioned Judah. 

"Babe? Do you know where this book came from? I'm really having the strangest night." I looked towards the bathroom and waited for his answer and got no response. Thinking he had already stepped in the shower, I looked at him in confusion as he stood, just staring in the mirror. 

"Judah." The moment I said his name, he looked me straight in the eyes and said nothing. 

"Judah!" I repeated this time a bit louder while staring back at him. 

"I have no idea where it came from, but I wouldn't worry about it if I were you." He stated, turned, then took the book from my hands and walked away with it. I started to follow after him when Zeke came running towards me, stopping me completely in my tracks. 

"Zeke, move boy!" He didn't move at all. He stared at me. It was as if he was saying a thousand words, but I couldn't understand any of them. Completely defeated, I poured myself a glass of water from the faucet, then went back to bed and waited for Judah to return. 

I laid down for what felt like hours looking at the ceiling fan, and I just couldn't shake the idea that I knew this girl. The strange behavior from Judah and even Zeke, nothing made sense. Judah finally returned to the room, but the book was nowhere in sight. Once I started to hear Judah snore, I knew it was my chance to get to the bottom of this. I started to lift my head off the pillow slightly when I realized I couldn't move at all, and I was completely stuck. I started to give up when I noticed a figure coming towards me and could vaguely make out that it was Zeke! 

Zeke placed his nose gently on my body, and the weight that was on me lifted immediately. I eased myself out of bed, careful not to wake Judah, and started to search downstairs for the little black book. I searched for it by the couch, the counters, and in the study and couldn't seem to find it anywhere. Irritated and tired, I went to the pantry to grab a brownie, and as I was throwing away the wrapper in the trash, the little black book caught my eye. There it was, in the trashcan. Why would Judah throw the book away? 

Drowsily, I began to look through the book pages, and more glimpses of a different life began flooding through my mind. As I neared the end of the book, I noticed that the bank was about to foreclose on our dream house, and we would be left with nothing. On one of the last pages, I had a meeting where I signed paperwork to receive a loan from a man for 20 thousand dollars. Still confused, possibly even more than when I started reading the book, I knew I needed to go for a drive. I walked over to the garage door, grabbed my keys, slipped on my shoes, and started for the car. The second I was on the road, everything would clear up, I just knew it. As I started to back down the driveway, the car came to an abrupt halt, I pressed and pressed the gas, and the car wouldn't budge. I got out of the car and tried to go for a walk instead, yet every time I got to the bottom of the driveway, I would look up and be facing the house. I started screaming towards the sky when I noticed a shadow looking from the window, and I knew it was Judah. I stormed towards the house and inside the kitchen, staring straight at him. 

"What the hell is going on?! Where is Rowen?! Why can't I leave?!" I screamed with tears streaming down my face. I was feeling every emotion at once. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Anger. 

Judah stared blankly at me. 

"I told you not to worry about the book. You never should have read it." He turned and glared at Zeke as if they were speaking some type of unspoken language. 

"Well, I did read it, and I know you know something!" I wanted answers. I needed answers. 

"You needed money. I gave it to you. This is the clause. "Judah sat down at the table and crossed his legs as if he was about to chastise his damn child. 

I stared back at him in disbelief. He was the man from the memory. I couldn't see his face, but that would explain a lot of what is happening.

"I did not want this. I just wanted to keep our house." 

"Don't you see Lani? Now you get to keep your house forever." 

I was slowly beginning to understand what he meant and what this meant for my future. I shut down. I began to sob and sob until my hands were raw from wiping the tears off my face.

"--How can I fix this?" I finally gained the courage to ask Judah, and the son of a bitch began to grin. 

"You can not." Judah stood up from the table and started to walk away, I couldn't let him get away, so I quickly grabbed his sleeve from behind, and he shoved me back-- hard. The weird thing is he didn't shove me with his arms, but I know he did it. By the time I recovered, he was gone, and I was alone, on the floor, drenched in my own tears. 

I managed to make my way to the bedroom, where I would try and come to terms with my current circumstances when I noticed a strange light coming from under the closet door. I uneasily headed toward the door and opened it to see Zeke looking down at a tablet. I reached to pick it up, and on the screen was Rowen.

Rowen was sitting stiffly on the couch, just staring intently at the television screen. I felt a tear fall from my face, and I heard myself scream and scream for her to hear me. She looked up. 

"I love you, Rowen." I watched silently, waiting to hear her response, but it never came.