Experiment #234

She stared out the window at the greying wall that sat ten short feet from her house. Though it had been up for years, Natalie could remember a time when it wasn’t there. When she could see the sea beyond.

She shook the thought away and directed her attention back to the crying child in front of her. She had always felt inexplicably linked to the ocean, and as a moody child herself, Natalie knew that the sea could heal her.

But this wasn’t an option for the devastated five-year-old girl in front of her. No, Victoria would have to learn to navigate the world without the comfort of the ocean, and this knowledge brought Natalie an unbearable sadness. She scooped her daughter into her arms, and she rocked her, knowing that she would never be able to replace the feeling of peace that came with water, large amounts of it, that would expand far enough to solve any of what ailed her.

As far as Natalie knew, the entire world was required to now block out the oceans, and it was plain to see why. On their last family trip to Europe, she begged her husband for the window seat on the airplane. Bemused by her seemingly childlike wonder, Jack succumbed. Natalie knew that this would not be the case now, that Victoria would be the one to look out over the world below them, but Victoria had been only two the last time they had traveled. But Natalie was despondent at what remained of the ocean. Water the color of mud, and appearing to be the consistency of mud, as well. Tides swirling angrily in a whirlpool-like pattern rather than the crashing waves she had always known. And, worst of all, the reason behind the ocean shut-out: the creatures. They were humanlike in shape and in shape alone. Even from a large distance, they appeared angry, and Natalie could almost hear their shrieks from the plane. She had closed her eyes for the remainder of the journey.

Why, now, was she thinking of this? The unfairness that her daughter would grow up without an ocean seemed too much to bear. The burden that she felt in her memories of the ocean, rarely consoled by Jack, who observed Natalie’s regular wall staring and regarded her as peculiar, was increasing by the minute. How could he understand? But how could he not?

As Victoria cried in her arms, Natalie began to consider what could be done. She did not know if the creatures inhabited the lakes, as well--only that they took up more of the ocean’s surface than any other creature, and that, perhaps now, there simply were no other creatures.

“Come with me, sweetheart,” Natalie said as she took her daughter’s hand. She brought her over to the office, where she opened up the family laptop. She typed ‘ocean 2019’ into the search bar, clicked on images, and watched her daughter’s expressions shift. Natalie felt a pang of guilt at the pure joy on Victoria’s face; Jack would have loved to see this. But she knew that she needed to share her love of the sea with the person who was more like her than anybody else.

Together, they got out paper and crayons and began to draw. They talked while they drew, Victoria asking questions and Natalie answering. She had been waiting for the moment when she could finally discuss the ocean with her daughter, and it seemed to have simply fallen into her lap.

“I’m home!” Jack’s voice rang through the kitchen and into the office.

“Daddy!” Victoria squealed, running into his arms. “Mommy and I have talked all about the ocean today! I want to see the ocean!”

Natalie’s throat caught for a minute. She hadn’t quite gotten around to telling Victoria that this would not ever be a possibility, that it didn’t exist the way that it used to. She glanced at Jack, whose face was uncharacteristically darkened.

“She did? Wow! Why don’t you go and practice reading for a few minutes while Mommy and I talk?”

As Victoria ran off, Natalie started to try to explain. “She was so upset… she is so much like me, I just thought--”

“Natalie. This isn’t something that you explain to a five-year-old on a whim. There is so much that she doesn’t understand, that YOU don’t understand…”

Jack stopped himself abruptly, and Natalie looked up at him, taken aback. Jack had never spoken like this to her. “Jack?”

“I just… I don’t understand why you can’t let this go. We have a great life. Why are you so fixated on the ocean? And why are you bringing our daughter into your obsession? It’s not the ocean we knew. It’s dangerous now. You know that. I’ve told you that.”

Natalie was surprised and confused, but she muttered an apology. She knew this whole performance by heart, and she wasn’t feeling like getting into it with Jack at the moment. Still, she filed his reaction away to consider later.

The next day, Victoria was spending a half day at daycare. Natalie was working in the office, tidying up and filing important documents, when a key fell out of an envelope. At first, she thought nothing of it, but upon closer inspection, she noticed that the envelope was labeled “Exp. 234: CONFIDENTIAL”. Wondering why the key was in her house, she made a mental note to check with Jack when he got home, and she stuck the key in her pocket.

But Jack came home that night and immediately asked if Victoria had asked any questions about the ocean. He seemed angry and impatient, even when Natalie told him that the ocean hadn’t been brought up. Natalie shied away from the key, vowing to figure it out for herself the following day.

As she was falling asleep that night, an image came to her. It was in their basement, years ago, Jack putting up drywall. Natalie had gone down to bring him a drink and he jumped, startled, covering something behind him. Her eyes snapped open. What was he hiding?

Natalie tossed and turned all night, knowing exactly where she would go when Jack left for work. The waiting felt impossible, but she knew that it was what needed to be done if she had any hope of learning about the mysteries that seemed to be cropping up in her life.

Finally, morning light came, and Natalie said goodbye to Jack, dropped Victoria at daycare, and sprinted into her basement to investigate.

She ran her hands up and down the wall, thanking the universe that Jack was clearly not much of a handyman. Evidently, Jack had not expected Natalie to ever investigate, because the covering of the small door was shoddy workmanship at best. Filled with incomprehensible rage that her husband thought so little of her intellect, Natalie tore at the wall until the small metal door was exposed. There was no lock on the door. She opened it up to see another envelope and a small keyhole.

First, she opened up the envelope to try to gain clarity on the situation. She read:

Experiment #234, an attempt to create an updated intercontinental military weapon, will not be released to the public. The experiment was a failure. In order to protect those scientists involved in the attempt, the figures will be regarded as a natural disaster. Oceans will be closed to all.

Natalie’s mind swirled. Her eyes blurred. She found that she could not read any further than this, could not bear any more knowledge than that which told her that her husband was responsible for the destruction of the natural world’s most perfect creation.

There was nothing else to do. She tried the key. It fit perfectly. When she twisted it in the hole, nothing happened. She tried again, this time remaining perfectly still and quiet. She heard a gentle rumbling coming from above her.

Taking the key with her, Natalie ran up the stairs. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized what she had done. The grey wall was lowering. The ocean view was coming into focus, and for a moment, her joyfulness at this fact outweighed any logic.

The joy didn’t last, though. Of course it didn’t last; it couldn’t last. As Natalie began to see the sea for the first time in five years, she got her first look at the creatures that now inhabited her ocean. She watched them, close up and vulnerable this time, rather than on a plane. Briefly, she wondered at the practicality of owning such a key. She wondered why Jack had never told her. She would have understood, had he only trusted her with the information. With increasing horror, she wondered what would become of her family--what would become of the world.

Natalie knew there was nothing she could do but watch as the creatures began to sense her presence. She felt their pull, and, in a last attempt to undo her mistake, she made her way into the ocean one last time.