Eating my experiences (10)

TOME 11

We stood, daunted at the edge of town, having expected more dilapidation of the population. I found myself heaving in each breath, unsure how to mask my climbing anxiety. I choose to instead stare at Alex, open mouth as if to speak, yet only gasps protrude into the air. He looks over, concern filling the space between us as we realize I am having an asthma attack.

"You need to use your inhaler, here, I'll get it" he pulled it from the side pouch of my backpack as I reluctantly bring it to my face, fear in my watery eyes. Once I run out of this, I could die the most useless death. "It's okay, we will get you another, I promise, even if if have to do it alone" I listen, but halt at my lips as a tear escapes my eye trailing down my neck. After my lungs gladly accept two puffs of my much needed medication, I find myself calmer, but shaky with anxiety, it had been a long time since I had seen this much hustle and bustle.

We crept into the crowd with as much confidence as we could muster, which I fear is not enough, if we get found as mentally ill in a crowd this large we will be taken prisoner, fed to the zombies as a destabilizing snack. I never would have thought I would be willing to fight with such persistence to live, yet here we are, leaning on one another, carrying each other towards a future. Not necessarily a better future, just, a life together.

We continue in silence till we happen upon a street I remember. I used to work here. This is Pacific Ave, it used to be the heart of downtown and now it had been ransacked, store fronts shattered with rotten food and trash blowing in the coastal wind. It smelled like the ocean, a smell I hadn't allowed myself the luxury of noticing in a while.

I take in a deep, breath filled with longing, longing for my old life just a few blocks away hidden away in my old apartment with Gabe. I long for the times when I would call Alex in laughter filled conversations that ate the night away. I remember all the long conversations with Zach on the balcony and the days filled with filming between Alex and I as we plotted out our web series, as we created song after song to fill the air. I remember the heat of Gabe's slender body as I held him in my arms lovingly as we giggled and engaged in the loveliest of pillow talk. I miss the bliss of my old life.

Swallowing hard, I turn to Alex with purpose "Hurry, let's go ahead, I know where we are, I wanna see if that CBD shop is around, I need a top up." I used CBD for pain both physical and mental, and had come to lean hard on it through this adventure. Alex fights the crowd to keep up as I weave through people in search of the large wall of glass that made up the shop I once worked at. I miss the owner of this shop, a kind and strong woman who always filled me with joy to see. I wonder where she is now, likely with her family.

I quickly duck into one of the small window pains, cutting the top of my left shoulder, allowing the blood to freely flow down my arm. I press on, not taking notice until Alex points it out. I see not too many people had desecrater the shop yet, and breathe in a breath of relief. I grab a few of the remaining bottles of CBD syrup, and all the pre-rolls I can find before scooping the last two remaining capsules and only lotion into my bag before noticing the trail of blood following me.

"What a bother" I mutter before charging into the back most room, where I find my prior boss, sleeping on my massage table. This is an unexpected sight, but I'm happy she is alive. I gently shake her awake, only to startle her into a sitting position, nearly falling from the overly high and slender table. "Wow! It's me, don't worry, I just wanna ask you something." I had my arms trust high above my head, causing me to feel a little dizzy.

"Oh...oh, sorry." She muttered sleepily. "You freaked me out, what're you doing here?" She lacks all her usual spark, and I'm unsure if it's due to sleepiness or trauma.

"First of all, we're staying up in the mountains, if you want to join us, you can, we don't get bugged for the most part....second, well, we're looking for a friend who was sold out. Do you know where the main holding area is or the main leaders living area?" I was rushing through my speech, I was far too excided to see her, my boss and friend, Aurora. She sits proud usually, with strong and beautiful features, but here it's apparent she has been the only one on watch, going sleepless all too often.

"Hmm, you know, maybe I should, this probably isn't going to end soon enough to save this place anyway. Where are you staying?" She seems to be being fed the first glimmer of hope since the beginning.

"About two to two and a half days out towards San Jose." I reply dutifully "but I need to find Zach first."

"Of course... um, yeah, I'll go with you, but... just come get me when you're done, I have to pack, also you can sleep here till you're ready." She has a glimmer of excitement in her eyes and the way she smiles.

"Awesome! I'm glad to hear it! Uh...Aurora, I didn't expect anyone to be here so I grabbed some products, can I keep them?" I am timid, I'm not sure how this town has been operating now.

She laughs a bitter laugh before looking down "Yeah, go ahead, it's not as though people buy things anymore anyway, honestly I only stop people when they're rude now... not worth it with the old folks..." She was always rather generous, and it hurt to see her taken to her breaking point in such a way.

"Okay, Aurora, thank you, you've always been so kind. I think we will go to the pharmacy, do you know which one was hit the least hard?"

She shakes her head before replying "no, honestly I don't take anything worth risking my life over, so I haven't tried."

"Okay, we will just go in order of closest in that case. Do you want a hug before we go?" I ask arms outstretched, to which she hops off the table and gives me the most whole hearted hug I think I have ever received.

Alex and I walk the two blocks to the local pharmacy, where we see what appears to be a militia waiting at the door, it seems this is as good a place as any to figure out where they live. Hopefully two people is the right amount of people to complete this task, I'd rather not ask Aurora to come to our aid, she's been through enough.