Daddy And The Dealer

My father had many friends when I was a child. He always had somewhere to go, someone to see. Before I knew any better I thought he was a really popular guy. Later on, I learned that they were less "friends" and more "business associates". But for now, we'll call them friends.

My dad's friends all had the same character traits. No real job, owed someone money, in some sort of trouble with the police, unhealthy romantic relationships, hell they even all smelled the same, like skunks. Looking back, I now know it was a combination of body odor and weed smoke, but at the time I assumed they all lived with the wildlife and didn't think any more of it. They were all one person divided up between a group of bodies and given different names. Apart from those two differences, they were all the same. I never really learned their names, mostly because my dad insisted I refer to them as "daddy's friends" if anyone were to ask about them. Being the sweet little angel I was, I obliged.

One of my dad's closest friends was a big guy named Mike. Mike was my dad's most important friend. I learned his name quickly. I was six years old when I met Mike, and on this day he wasn't a happy guy by any means. He came over to our house and banged on the door. My dad peeked out of the peephole and fled to his bedroom and told me not to answer the door. That had happened a couple of other times but it was the police banging on the door. Not this time though. Mike kicked our door in, stood over my trembling body, and said "hey, buddy. I'm Mike, where's your dad?" I mustered up the motion of my arm just enough to point toward my dad's bedroom door. He thanked me, and then banged on my dad's door. My dad opened the door and told me to go outside. Being the sweet little angel I was, I obliged.

After about an hour of playing outside, I saw my dad and Mike walk out of the house together. They shook hands, and Mike drove away. My dad called me over and explained to me that he had to go out of town for a little while and that I would be staying with my mom. I was excited to learn this because my mom was my absolute favorite person. She always cared for me in a way my dad never had time to. She was my best friend. Since they separated, they shared custody of me, loosely.

After a fun-filled few weeks with my mom, my dad came to pick me up. I overheard my dad and mom arguing while I am packing my clothes, but that wasn't out of the ordinary. I heard my mom say "just leave him here while you go over there, I told you not to take my son to places like that" and my dad replied, "I don't have time to argue I'm already running late". He rushed me out the door, my mom still yelling at him as we pulled out of the driveway.

I asked my dad if we are going on a road trip, and he said no. I ask him where we are going then, and he replied "Mike's". I start to ask him about Mike but he cut me off and said, "I'll explain later, for now just listen to the radio, daddy has to focus." Being the sweet little angel that I was, I obliged.

When we got to Mike's house, my dad told me to stay in the car and listen to the radio. He opened the trunk of the car and grabbed a big duffle bag and went inside. I remember listening to the rock and roll station until I fell asleep. When I awakened, we were moving. I look up and see my dad driving and asked him if we were going home. He replied "not yet buddy" and I heard Mike's voice from the passenger seat say "turn here, it's just a couple more miles". I told my dad I wanted to go home because by this point it was dark outside and the clock on the radio said 12:30. Mike looked back at me and said softly, "we just have to take care of a couple of things real quick and your dad will get you home." My dad turned up the radio up to where I couldn't hear what they were talking about, and I drifted back to sleep.

I woke up sometime later. I was alone in the car. The radio wasn't playing and it wasn't dark outside anymore. I peeked out the window and saw that we were in the middle of an empty field. I didn't see my dad or Mike anywhere. That was the day I had my first panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, my heart was racing, and I felt like I was trapped in the car. I knew my dad wanted me to stay in the car when he was with his friends, but I felt like I was about to die. I needed to find my dad. What if something happened to them? What if Mike got mad at my dad again? I had to find him. So, despite being the sweet little angel I was known to be, I did not obey my father's orders, and I left the car.

I had never been hunting before, nor was I a detective so I didn't think to look for or follow tracks or footprints. Keep in mind that I was six at the time. The only thing I could think of was to yell for my dad and walk. So that was what I did. For about an hour or so, I walked and yelled, to no reply. Finally, I found a road. It was an old dirt road that I didn't recognize, but roads usually have travelers and I figured if I couldn't find my dad then a traveler of this road could have better luck. I didn't want to walk anymore, I was tired and lost, and scared. So I sat there and waited on someone to find me.

Finally, after what felt like hours of sitting there throwing rocks at trees, someone came driving down the old dirt road. They saw me and pulled over. A woman stepped out of her car. She was short, with long blonde hair. She reminded me of my mom, except for the weird-looking thing on the side of her lip. She asked what my name was. I told her "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, but I can't find my dad. Will you help me?" She told me that I should get in her car and she would take me somewhere safe. I told her I didn't want to. I wanted to find my dad. I informed her of the car in the field and told her to follow me. Without waiting for a reply, I started walking back toward the car.

As we walk back through the field, I see the car driving toward us. My dad and Mike stop right beside the woman and me. The first thing my dad said was "Didn't I tell you to stay in the fucking car?". I tried to explain that I felt like I was going to die and I was scared but before I could get any words out of my mouth I heard Mike say "Who the fuck is this bitch?". The woman said "Sir, I found this boy on the side of the road looking for his father, he asked me to help him find him." Mike got angry and got out of the car, and my dad followed. The woman said "who in their right mind leaves a helpless kid in the middle of a field like this?" Mike responded "You really need to mind your own business, lady. The boy found his dad, now leave it alone and go on your way." The woman said "No! You guys left a child in the middle on nowhere to do god knows what! I am reporting this to the police, little boy come with me I will make sure you're safe until the police get here." I started panicking again. My dad told me not to talk to strangers or the police.

Before I could tell the woman no, or yes, or have any sort of reply, I saw Mike pull out a gun. My dad yelled "Mike, no! That'll only make things worse!" The woman tried to run away at the sight of the gun being aimed at her, but Mike fired the first shot into her leg. The woman fell to the ground. My ears started ringing, and my heart started racing. I felt like I couldn't breathe and I felt like I was going to pass out. I couldn't move. I was just standing there, shocked. Mike looked at my dad and said "Do you want her to get the fucking cops out here? Do you really want them snooping around here? I don't know if you're aware of this but we are kind of out of fucking options!" My dad doesn't respond, but the look he gives Mike assured him that they were both in agreement. This is what they had to do. The woman was screaming for help. Mike walked over to her and aimed his gun again. Up until now, I was frozen. I couldn't get a hair on my body to move for me. But when I saw the woman laying there and Mike aiming the gun at her, my entire body moved toward Mike. I yelled "Mike no!" and lunged at him. He flung his arm with the gun in his hand in my direction, and the gun hit the side of my face. As I fell to the ground, I hear three gunshots. I passed out.

I woke up to my dad carrying me from the car into our house. I felt groggy and my head was killing me. I remembered what had happened, and I started panicking again. I tried to wiggle out of my dad's arms but he told me to calm down. I tried to ask him about everything that had just happened, but he told me again to calm down and said we needed to get inside. He carried me to my bedroom and laid me down. He left my room for a few minutes and came back in with a wet rag and a bandage. He wiped the part of my head that was throbbing in pain and put the bandage over it. The rag had blood on it, I didn't even know I was bleeding. Before I could say anything my dad began talking. "Your head hit that window pretty hard, didn't it?" I said, "dad, no! Mike Hit me! He shot that lady! She was just trying to help me find you!". I started sobbing. My dad started rubbing the top of my head to calm me down. "No, buddy. Mike didn't shoot anyone. On our way home last night we hit a deer and wrecked the car into a field. You hit your head on the window and got knocked out." I said "No dad I remember looking for you and Mike shot the lady she was just trying to help me find you I didn't know where you were." My dad shook his head and said, "No buddy you must have dreamt that. Nobody got shot, everything is okay. Do you want something to eat?"

I laid there, stunned. There was no way I dreamt something like that. Right? I didn’t dream that, did I? I was so confused when he told me that none of what I said was real. He seemed unfazed while I laid there in a panic. How could he be so calm after seeing Mike murder someone? Was it really all just a dream?

My dad was still sitting there, waiting on me to respond. I was so lost in thought and confused that I had forgotten his question. My dad said "I promise everything is okay. It was just a bad dream buddy." The more I thought about it, the more I calmed down. My dad wouldn't be this calm after watching someone get killed, right? I was asleep in the car when the car got wrecked. Maybe I did dream of the murder. After I stopped crying and got my breathing under control, my dad said "I'm gonna call your mom and have her pick you up. You're going to stay with her for a little while so I can work on getting this car fixed. That deer did a lot of damage. Now, I need you to promise me something." I nodded my head. "I need you to keep that dream between us. Don't tell anyone about it, especially your mom. You know how she worries and overreacts to things. You don't want mommy mad at daddy right?" he asked. I shook my head. "Good," he said. "I'll explain about the car accident. Nothing more needs to be said about this, okay?" I nodded again. And being the sweet little angel that I was, I obliged. I didn't mention a word of my dream to my mom.

My mom was mad about my dad wrecking his car. They got into an argument. I heard my mom tell my dad she would take his ass to court if something like this ever happened again. She said that all the time though. After my dad left, my mom removed the bandage from my head to check out the damage. She put medicine on the wound and gave me some gross-tasting medicine for my headache. Then she had me make dinner with her and she used her mom magic to make me laugh. She always had a funny way of making things better. After dinner, we sat down to watch a movie on cable, and we both drifted off to sleep before finishing.

I woke up sometime later. My mom was still asleep beside me on the couch. The local news was on, but I was too tired to find the remote to look for cartoons. That was when I saw it. The news anchor was reporting a missing woman. They showed a picture of the woman, and my heart started racing, and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I saw the blonde woman with the weird thing on the side of her lip. The one that I dreamt that Mike had killed.