Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV is a thoroughly gross, disgusting, vile, and highly entertaining cinematic dumpster fire helmed by Lloyd “Uncle Lloydie” Kaufman of Troma fame, and it is one of the grossest, most disgusting, splattery, bloody, sexy, scatological, dumb, and vile celluloid turds ever shat from the volcanic bowels of a mad genius who seems to have been driven forward by equal handfuls of adolescent lust and cartoon fervor.

Or something.

I don’t guess the plot matters, as not a single frame of this film is anything but a Mad Magazine–level gross-out meant to shove offensive humor directly in the face and up the ass of the viewer, who is presumably an overweight, booger-eating moron with a layer of Cheetos dust for a beard and really, really cheesy body odor. Toxie (David Mattey, and voiced by Clyde Lewis) crosses over into another dimension—the dimension of “Mortville” (lifted, I think, as a reference from Desperate Living by John Waters)—and after massacring a gang of guys dressed like babies at a “special school,” where the mentally challenged are lampooned mercilessly (i.e., this wouldn’t cut it in today’s woke environment), we get an extended cameo by Ron Jeremy (currently dying from dementia in a nursing home, having narrowly escaped a possible conviction for sexual assault) playing the Mayor of Tromaville, who unleashes a quartet of superheroes: one who writhes on a vibrator, a cow-headed cowman with milk-spewing udders, an orgasm addict…

None of it can be taken seriously. Not a single, solitary, guilty frame.

Toxie wanders in and out of the alternate dimension. Noxie, his evil alter-ego, brings literal Nazis from the other dimension into Tromaville and takes over. Sgt. Kabukiman (Paul Kyrmse) puts in an appearance and must have been boffing Claire (Heidi Sjursen) at one point but, at any rate, comes off like a weak-kneed shmuck. I’m not certain what the hell else happened; it rockets past the viewer like a fast-forward, hallucinatory, psychedelic monstro-belch from the dirty subconscious of an endlessly horny post-adolescent gremlin with too many comic books and a handful of LSD-25. It’s so sick and nauseating—so replete with sprays of watery diarrhea, milk, semen, blood, blood, grue, and more blood—that the casual viewer may find they require a snorkel just to circumnavigate the soupy, morally contaminated waters.

Or somesuch.

There can be no point to such a picture. Even the abortion-clinic scenes become tedious. The incomparable Lisa Gaye puts in an appearance as a nurse but seems a trifle less INCREDIBLY HOT than she did in Toxic Avenger Part II as the Unholy Mistress of KAOS. Two babies fight a bloody battle in the womb. The late, great Joel Fleishaker shows up as Toxie’s morbidly obese sidekick, “Lardass.” Toxie is his straight, naïve, guileless, all-around good-guy Square John Citizen self, complete with a deformed face and “superhuman size and strength.” Lemmy, the late, great, (very great) vocalist from Motörhead, also puts in an appearance.

There’s enough violence and sadistic killing here to satisfy an entire legion of grindhouse gorehounds: arms ripped off, entrails pulled out, diapers shat explosively, umbilicals bitten cleanly in bloody half. The viewer has so much shoved down his throat and up his mental asshole that he may feel—much like Toxie must when he teleports onto the set of a gay porn film from the seventies—like he’s getting a full-bore vibrator reaming his psychological arsehole.

We swear, it feels pretty good in retrospect.

Lots of tits, lesbian sex, naked and half-naked women, and animals writhing amidst the bile hemorrhage and vile, decadent filth ladled out here and introduced by the unassailed King of Comic Book Capers himself, the late, great, (very, very great) Stan Lee, baby.

(He was also on "The Big Bang Theory," back in the day, if y’all remember.)

It ain’t for the kids, if you take my meaning. But you already knew that.

But fuck, man. Stan Lee.

How did they get Stan Lee?

Excelsior!

Addendum

There's also a cameo by none other than Corey Feldman. Yes, THEE Corey Feldman. Corey liked a comment I left on one of his Tweets on New Year's Eve last year.

And then my world lit up like a Buddha smile.

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger IV | Offical Trailer (2000) | Lloyd Kaufman (Note: NSFW)

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