Bibliophile

My precious little girl, only 4 years old, my gift from God.

Her fascination with books is really starting to freak me out.

Miranda, I call her Randi for short. After her Dad. Together we envisioned our beautiful family, worked and prayed and sweated, and thought we would never get pregnant. But then Randi came, and opened the floodgates! I can’t stop getting pregnant now, 3 girls in 4 years. Randi is our first gift to this troubled world.

I’m not going to say that we hoped she’d be a boy. We didn’t. We asked for a healthy child, and that’s what we were sent. I’m so grateful for her, and her beautiful spirit! When she kneels with her little stuffed chipmunk in her plump little arms and says her prayers, I feel so honored to be her Mother. In those moments, I think she must have chosen me out of every other Mother she could have had because I’m somehow special, somehow worthy of raising such a noble soul.

It’s my fault she’s so obsessed with books. I started reading to my child in the womb, and singing to her the hymns that filled my heart with the glory of Heaven. And I know she heard, because she came out voraciously hungry for these things almost from the start. Is there enough music in the world for those little ears? If only I could keep her away from my record collection though, especially the Carpenters “Close to You” which she cannot keep herself from touching. Bless her little heart!

I’ve tried so hard to be a good Mother to her. But I feel like I make so many mistakes.

For instance. The other day my baby girl had a nail file in her mouth.

When I asked her why she’d done that, she said with perfect sincerity that she’d been trying to file her teeth.

File her teeth???

Into sharp points, she said.

Because she was bothered that she’d been born with “no natural defenses”, she said.

This is my fault. I should never have bought that book.

It was at a thrift shop, so I purchased it, and the minute Randi saw it she was obsessed. Sometimes she’d just flip through the pages for hours, so I started putting it up where she couldn’t reach. This proved nearly fatal once, as the thing is massive and she nearly brought it down on her head trying to get it from the shelf.

Should I get rid of it?

No. I need it.

But it’s so disturbing, watching my tiny girl search for illustrations in that massive book! The more frightening the picture, the more interested she is.

No wonder she wanted to file her teeth! Looking at all of that abnormality day after day, her little mind has come to glorify the abnormal!!

It's warping her mind, turning her dark inside.

It's like that poem we heard in Church the other day:

“Vice is a monster of such awful mein,

That to be hated, has but to be seen.

But when seen too oft, when familiar with its face...

We first endure, then pity, then embrace.”

It really is true! Whoever wrote that poem was greatly inspired.

On second thought, I think I’ll burn the book. I don’t really need it.

I’d hoped to maybe save some money by treating the more minor of her childhood illnesses by myself at home, but that was clearly not a true prompting of the Spirit. I need to pray sincerely for guidance on this.

But in the meantime, no need at all for the “Atlas of Pediatric Physical Diagnosis”. Too many pictures of deformed children in that book. Why, why, WHY so many pictures of genetically diseased babies? Was there really any need to put one on nearly every single page???

If my child grows up to be a children's doctor or something like that, fine.

But if Satan should steal her soul, mark my words: I’m suing Mosby-Wolfe.