As the Tide Rushes In

Dear Sparky,

We loved you very much. Jesus is going to take care of you now. We promise to pray to him every day and be good so he will give you Milk Bones. Please forgive us and Daddy. He didn’t mean it.

Signed,

Benjamin Michael Livingston

Michelle Liliana Livingston

Adrian Jackson Livingstun

“Okay, are you done?”

“Yeah,” Adrian shakily handed the paper and pencil back to his older brother.

“You put your full name, right? Cause we gotta--”

“Yeah, I did, Ben.”

Ben rolled it up into a scroll and tied it with his red shoelace.

Ben leaned down and placed the scroll into the inflatable raft next to the Milk Bones, the green leash, and Sparky. Then he thought a minute, and pulled off his lace-less sneakers and added them to the memorial.

“Th-they were the shoes I always walked him in,” his breathed.

Adrian shivered, and dared to look back up at Sparky. It was very dark out now, and a warm, eerie fog hung about the inflatable raft, which rocked back and forth in the black waves of the sea. It still chilled him to see Sparky so lifeless. He should be barking at the three siblings to hop in the boat and take him on an adventure, wagging his gnawed, crooked tail back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. Mostly he’d look to Adrian. But now he wasn’t. Adrian couldn’t believe he was actually dead. No, he couldn’t actually be dead.

Adrian stepped forward to reach out to Sparky, but Michelle caught him.

“What are you doing? We’ve got to sing!”

“No, no--” Adrian struggled as his older sister held him back.

“He’s DEAD, Adrian!” Ben raised his voice. “Now let’s do this before Daddy notices we’re missing! God—F-FUCK!”

Adrian relented and there was a moment of silence.

“You’re not supposed to say that word,” Michelle muttered.

“Just...fucking sing it, Michelle.”

“Fucking fine.” Michelle began, in a cool, clear voice. “Siiiilent night. Hoooollyyy night--”

“Why are you singing CHRISTMAS songs, Michelle? This isn’t--”

“I can’t remember any others!” Michelle’s voice cracked.

“Okay, okay,” Ben sighed. “I’m sorry.” He reached out and put an arm around Michelle, and they began to sing Silent Night.

Adrian was quiet. Then he hummed along a bit. But he couldn’t stop watching for Sparky’s eyes to light up again.

After pushing the raft off to sea, Adrian and his siblings quietly made their way back to the creaky old wooden condo. The porch was darkened when they arrived, and the three were just beginning to breathe a sigh of relief when they were suddenly bathed in a blinding yellow porch light.

“WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?”

Adrian froze. The three siblings looked at one another in horror. Ben, with a cracking voice cried out, “W-we went on a walk!”

“Oh, oh, okay.” Daddy held open the door and let the kids pass through.

The three hesitated. Daddy chuckled to himself, “Heh, heh...darn kids on vacation. Well come on in, come on!”

The three strode inside with heads hanging. As Daddy closed the door he whipped around and yanked Ben by his shirt collar. Adrian could hear the salt-dried threads in his shirt stretch and break against the tension in Ben’s neck. It was becoming muscular and strange, like Daddy’s.

Ben’s voice cracked. “Daddy, please--”

“Not okay, Benjamin! NOT okay!” He gripped tighter, and pulled Ben up close to his face. “WHAT did you call me?”

Ben swallowed, his face suddenly contorting in anger, matching his father’s. He didn’t say anything. He was staring at the corner. Adrian followed his line of sight, and his heart dropped. Mommy was silently watching from a darkened corner.

“Answer me, Benjamin!”

Ben’s lip twitched. “Dad, we went on a-”

“DOGSHIT!” Daddy shoved Ben off and spat in disgust. He eyed Ben. Ben eyed him back. This was the part where Daddy liked to pick on Ben. He began to stride around the room. He bobbled his head in mockery “Daddy this, Daddy that—If you’re going to lead my children parading around at midnight, speak to me like a man, son! And DON’T ever lie to me.” He lunged for Ben, yanking him in again.

“We had a funeral for Sparky!” Michelle cried out.

Daddy stared at her. Then he turned back into Ben’s face. “You what?”

Ben glared through shining eyes. “You left him in the trash, Dad. What kind of a man does that?”

Adrian cringed backwards as Daddy’s fist made contact with Ben, and he crumpled. Adrian saw a similar kind of movement in the darkened corner, but there was no sound. Then Daddy grabbed a fistful of Ben’s hair. “This is about that mangy mutt?” He chuckled in disbelief. “A funeral, huh?” Daddy seemed to retract inward at the realization of what he’d done to Sparky. He loosened his grip on Ben’s head.

“Yes, Daddy, and we sang him songs and wrote a letter and prayed to Jesus!” Michelle sputtered. “And--”

“Because you killed him.” Ben glared up at his father.

Daddy’s eyes snapped back. “THAT dog—that FUCKING dog was old—Do you know how much I spent on on those crabs he ate? That dog had no manners, just like you. Just take take take take take—GOD do you all know how much I spend to take ALL OF YOU on these vacations?” He prodded Ben with his foot. “Huh? Huh, Benjamin?”

Ben finally burst into tears. “You didn’t have to kill him!” Daddy wound up again.

“Daddy STOP! STOP! It wasn’t Ben’s fault! It was mine!” Adrian jumped forward. “PLEASE Daddy, I left the crabs on the floor! I did! It was my fault!”

“Shut up, Adrian!” Ben cried.

“I left the crabs on the floor, and--and that’s how Sparky-”

Daddy’s eyes burned into the back of Adrian’s skull. Adrian stared back, wide eyed. He trembled. Then Daddy turned back on Ben. “See, son? Take some god-damned responsibility, kid. Your little brother knows better than you.” He turned to the rest of them. “Get out, or go to bed, all of you. Ben and I need to have a talk.”

Adrian sat at the bottom of the wooden stairway outside. The yellow porch light blinked occasionally, and the ocean breeze blew at the hotness in his face. The sticky air hung about the knot in his throat. He wanted this night to end. No, he wished it never happened. Maybe it could all just be a bad dream. Adrian began to pick at the splintered wood. Why did this happen every vacation? Poor Sparky. He should have never left those crabs out. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Adrian heard a door slam inside. Some muffled yelling.

“I’m sorry, Sparky!” He blurted out into the late night air. “I’m so sorry, Ben!” Sandy wet wind smacked back into his face. Adrian began to cry. He’d never see his best friend ever again. He kicked the wooden handrail with all his might.

Something toppled over. It was Daddy’s fishing pole, which was propped up in the doorway. Next to it was the big crab bucket, and all the fishing gear.

Suddenly Adrian had a wild idea. He scampered up the stairs and grabbed the bucket, a net, and the big flashlight. He glanced at the window. He could hear muffled yelling, still. “Hang on, Ben. I can fix this.”

Adrian bolted down the stairs and across the sandy street. He reached the boardwalk, and tripped over the giant bucket. His chin cracked on the splintered wood. He yelped. It was in that moment that there was a tiny death within him. A sudden realization that he couldn’t count on anyone to pick him up anymore. Adrian swallowed his tears, picked himself up, and dusted the sand off his splintered knees.

He started towards the beach when he suddenly froze.

There was a gangly old man lying under a torn blanket on one of the benches, staring at him, wide eyed. Adrian gasped. Then he suddenly realized he must have startled the man awake.

“I-I’m sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

“Whadda ya doin’, son?” He croaked, “It’s likely two or three in the mornin’!”

Adrian furrowed his brow. “Do you know where the crabs are?”

“What?”

“I’m crab hunting. Do you know where the best spot for crabs is?”

The old man pointed a gangly finger down the beach. “Go to the inlet. Near where the water meets the ocean. But hurry, the tides are changin’.”

“Thanks!” Adrian set off into the fog, along the shore, in the direction the old man pointed.

It felt like Adrian had been running for hours. The fog hugged him so closely he could hardly see but a few yards in front of him. Just as he was about to stop and lie down, he heard a rushing noise. He pointed his flashlight ahead into the whiteness. Water was draining down like a river from a large body of water on his right into the sea. Adrian stepped closer. The river-like phenomenon was massive. If he stepped in, the water would come just up to his waist, and the current was strong. However, the old man had seemed certain this was the place to be for the crabs.

Adrian gingerly placed a foot into the river. The water rushed up past his knee. “Oooooohhhhh gosh,” he gasped. Adrian gripped his flashlight and held it above his head. He tossed the bucket back on the shore, and brandished the net. Then he plunged his other leg in, and took a few steps forward. The water gurgled past his stomach. This was deeper than he thought it would be.

“God-DAMNIT SPARKY!” The curse rolled off his tongue with a kind of venom he’d never allowed himself to taste. He furrowed his brow. “DAMNIT, DAMNIT, DAMNIT! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO EAT THE CRABS!”

He pointed his flashlight into the river. It burned to the sandy bottom. He watched as seaweed, shells, and clouds of sand rushed past his toes. Adrian teetered a bit. He backed up, so that he wasn’t in so deep.

Suddenly, something scuttled across his foot. He cried out, and nearly lost his footing. Then he caught the thing with the glare of his flashlight. It was a massive blue crab. He shouted, and rushed downstream after it. Something primal switched on within him. Something in the fog began to howl as the crab swam downstream fast, with the advantage of the current. But Adrian was faster. He lunged through the river. He became the river. It carried and dragged him down on top of the crab, bubbling and plunging and howling, and he fell the net down into the water.

Adrian brought the net up. He’d missed.

He darted the flashlight downstream with eyes burning. He screamed and jumped back into the current. He howled downstream once again and plunged in with the net.

Adrian teetered a bit against the current, wiping the salt dripping from his eyes and hair. Then he stared into the net.

“YEEESSSSSSSSS!” He hooted. The crab was fat and menacing, stabbing towards him, entangled in the net. “Gotcha!”

Adrian rushed through the water back onto the shore. He ran and found the bucket, and plopped the crab in. “Okay,” he breathed heavily, “That’s one.” Adrian turned back towards the rushing water, and the howling continued.

He continued this mad battle with nature, and his spirit melded into a singular burning moment, when all time seemed to stop. He was one with the chaos of the rushing waves, the swiftness of the current, and his own burning, seething hatred of the whole thing. Beyond it all, the howling never stopped.

After some time, Adrian noticed a shortage of crabs. The rushing water didn’t reach but to his knees, now. Adrian beat his chest, and with one final, exhausted cry, he screamed, “WHERE DID YOU GO?” He fell down into the middle of the river and sat there, watching the chaos drain its finality into the sea. The rushing noise had lessened at this point.

Adrian suddenly noticed the extremity of the howling.

He perked up. “Sparky?” He cried. He jumped up, and ran all around in the whiteness, flashing his light about everywhere. “SPARKY!”

The howling drained into a hooting, then a barking.

It was Sparky.

“SPARKY?” Adrian screamed, his throat suddenly raw.

Then he heard it, more clearly now, coming from the direction of the crab bucket. Adrian rushed to shore and stopped dead in his tracks.

Just through the fog, a mangy old dog with a crooked tail was panting, sitting, wagging, waiting for him.

“Sparky, how--”

The old dog took off into the fog. Adrian grabbed the bucket of crabs and bolted off after him.

Sparky seemed to be just ahead of the veil of fog. Adrian could hear him barking back to him as he ran, but he couldn’t seem to catch up. Adrian ran on and on.

At a certain point, Adrian realized he couldn’t hear the barking anymore. He sprinted forward with all his might, calling out. There was no answer. Adrian dropped into the sand, completely exhausted.

Adrian curled up and began to cry. He wondered if this was what it felt like to be Ben, after standing up to Daddy for so long. Adrian felt ashamed. Sparky was out there. Ben was out there. Michelle was out there. Mommy was out there. And here he was, completely lost.

Suddenly, seemingly from up above him, there was a grunt. “Who’s there?”

Adrian froze, confused for a minute.

“Who’s there?” The voice repeated.

Slowly, Adrian stood up. “It’s me! Adrian!”

Then looming from above, a face appeared out of the fog. It was scraggly and torn. “Ohhh. Hey, kid! You get them crabs?”

Adrian grinned. It was the old man. “Yes, sir, I did!”

“Well bring ‘em up here and let me see.”

Adrian stood up. “I can’t see anything!”

“Oops. Heh-heh. Just follow my voice,” the old man grunted. “Yeahhh, that’s it.”

Adrian smiled to himself, and wiped away his tears. Sparky really had been looking out for him. He found his way to the stairs, and carefully made his way up to the boardwalk.

Adrian held up his bucket.

“Well dammnnn!” The old man grinned back with the goofiest face Adrian had ever seen.

Adrian giggled. “You think it’s enough to feed five people?”

“Surrreeee! That’s a real nice bunch of crabs ya got there. Lemme see here...Ehhhh, one, two, three….four, five, six, seven, DAMNNN! EIGHT! No, NINE! You did good, kid!”

Adrian grinned. Suddenly he noticed something strange. Just next to the old man’s bench was an inflatable raft.

Adrian snatched his bucket and took a step back, growling at the old man. “Where did you get that boat?”

The old man looked confused. “We-well, I just found it in the surf! Thought I’d take meself down the coast to the next town.”

“That was Sparky’s!”

“Whose?”

“Our dog’s! We sent him off in it with Milk Bones and Ben’s shoes and a letter! What did you do with Sparky?”

The old man stared at him for a moment. “There weren’t no dog in there, young sir. Nor no Milk Bones nor no shoes.”

Adrian glared at him. “You’re lying!”

“I ain’t lying, I—here, kid, have your boat back.”

“I don’t want the boat, I want Sparky!” Adrian cried out.

Just at that moment, the sound of feet running over the boardwalk caught their attention. Someone appeared out of the fog. It was Michelle.

“Oh my gosh, ADRIAN! Where WERE you?”

Another person appeared behind her. It was Ben. His face looked distorted, bruised. His voice was stern. “Adrian. You CAN’T run off like that. Everything’s done for tonight. Daddy’s asleep. We’ve been looking for you for forever. Let’s go to bed.” Then he turned to the old man, questioningly.

Suddenly Adrian noticed a back-and-forth kind of movement in the fog behind Ben and Michelle. He took a step forward.

“SPARKY!” He cried out. The little old dog wagged his tail ferociously, and barked.

Adrian leapt forward, but Sparky backed up, then bolted into the fog towards the ocean. Adrian jumped after him.

This time, he kept up with Sparky. He sprinted till they were at the shore. Sparky hesitated in the lapping of the waves. He whined, begging for Adrian to follow.

“No, boy! THIS way!”

Ben, Michelle, and the old man bounded in behind Adrian.

“Adrian, would you stop with the nonsense?” Ben shouted.

“But it’s Sparky!” Adrian cried. He turned back to the dog, and combed his hands down his knees. “Here, boy! Here! I can give you all the crabs you’d ever want, boy!”

Sparky panted, and turned to look out at the sea.

“Sparky is DEAD, Adrian!” Michelle yelled. “He’s GONE!”

Adrian turned back in sudden horror. “You mean...you mean you can’t...see him?”

All three looked back at him with faces of astonishment.

Adrian turned back towards the chaos and the fog.