Might of Our Love

Dearest Amina,

I am overcome with a heavy mind. I hate to start out this missive on that note, but my thoughts reel at the fact we lost contact with a commander in my fleet. As a rear admiral, it is something that pains me because I know he has a wife who is still searching for the answers. He represents his country, despite the fact that he has not given us any indication of his whereabouts. Pardon me for even mentioning this, but you are my solid rock on which I stand. I adore you. You already know that if anything should happen to me, what songs they’ll play, what uniform specifications, what band will march me out of that funeral home with a second line included and everything.

You see enough death while working in Dover. Delaware is still my home and that state and you combined bring me slices of joy like sunlight pouring into my soul. I know you’ve processed enough men already at that mortuary. I hope you are still playing tennis and showing the children the ways of the back hand, your favorite move. How is Hillroy enjoying his job at the firm? I’m sure he is an avid legal consultant. Hell, he could have been in the JAG. I know he didn’t want any military service like his dad. But my girls followed their daddy’s footsteps. I can actually tell you how they’re fairing in the US Marines. While they’re lowly second lieutenants, I’m more proud of them than ever. I’m proud of all my children. I’m most proud of you.

You have carried me this far with the power of a lioness guarding her mate and her cubs. This war will be over soon, but I can’t stop thinking about this fighter pilot who went down. I want to know more. Is he still alive? Will he come back to his unit? You’re my only thing with wings that flies with grace through my turmoil and grave thoughts. I appreciate you. I know you are waiting to become a colonel, and I can’t wait. Soon, I’ll be pinning stars on your shoulders. I anticipate the day.

As I look into the distance and watch the waves swirl, I can’t help but wonder when we will reunite. Our very existence is established around the idea of us living out the rest of our lives together. There’s no telling when this thing will be over, but I think it is actually winding down. I’m aware of the news coverage. I know you see a green screen with great bursts of white light jetting up and then cascading down again. I know you can see the oil fields ablaze. They burn like the fire that rests in the depths of my spirit for you alone. The thick black billows of smoke that darken the sky are like the deep colors of love I possess for you.

This war was the first to be shown as it is happening. Live on cable TV, you can see all of this. But you can’t smell it. Reports from Marines have varied from it just smelling like charred tires to charred flesh. There is wreckage and horrific sights along the “Highway of Death.” You of course know all of that. You know about the spectre of death and the disturbing and thoroughly unpleasant nature of demise. I still want us to be together through all of this. I know there’s a country that needs us to defend it and we have stepped in our roles, even our little girls who are all grown up, now. It’s amazing to realize the truth about this particular conflict. This, again, is no police action. It is war. Men and women are dying to preserve the interests of our great nation and to secure what elements of peace that can be brought to Kuwait.

What we must do is remember both of us. We trained, we fight, that’s it. You might be processing the remains of the fallen, but that’s still part of the battle. You’re an excellent example of wonderment. You are the reason I am able to keep my sanity throughout all of this. With the might of our love, we can face any enemy, shoulder any burden, and alleviate any strain through our immaculate resolve. There is a special place in my mind for you and I’m more than willing to show you how you’ve changed my mind on so many fronts. But I won’t do that now! I needed a bit of levity there. The fighter pilot is still missing after a few days and he was supposed to report back again. I don’t know what will come of him. You remember that I flew, too. That was Vietnam and I didn’t know if I’d recover from hellish conditions, either. But I persevered. I remain in your debt for being a wife and a mother at the time. You truly make something special out of my life. I can only express how much you mean to me through your constant vigilance over everything that I am. An ocean separates us, but we are linked through our notions of love for one another.

I will make it back to Delaware. There’s no question. You will fall into my arms and we will be as one. Just like that Frankie Beverly and Maze song, you know, “We are One.” That’s us. We will forever be connected dealing with our struggles with the constraints of our professions. We signed up for this. We signed up for this on April 11, 1960. We knew what we were getting into with all of this. When the president sends us to fight, we salute and get the job done with aplomb. There’s no room for politics when it comes to seeing your best friend lying in a ditch and you’re looking around as napalm streaks against the sky. No one mentally prepares you for that. You can train all you want, but there’s nothing like clasping your buddy’s dog tags and wiping off the blood and sand as his face is no more and then they slowly roll back out of your arms, lifeless.

My days as a flight surgeon readied me to work on young Marines and Sailors I didn’t know. I didn’t count on losing a soul mate. That was then, this is now. I’ve more power over the men and women under my charge. I know you’re saying you better not let that power inflate your head. While your love sends me soaring, you altogether ground me. It is with great joy that I express my love for you. It is because of your poise that the poisons of depression and dejection do not find their way into my consciousness. Your love gushes forth like a johnny pump on a sultry summer day in August. I doubt they even do that anymore. It has to be some sort of ordinance against it. Not while I was a boy, though. Those times in Wilmington absolutely required that we cool off with those jets of water bursting forth. I wish you could see the water now as our array of ships cut through the waves like multi-hundred-million-dollar knives. It looks like a tapestry of aquamarine bliss. I want you here.

I’ll conclude with the note that whatever happened to that commander, we will always be vigilant and know just how great this nation is and the men and women in uniform that stand to protect it. Women like you. I love you.

With highest admiration,

Edwin