Empress Jarina

To: Major Jarina Groves USMC <[email protected]>

CC/Bcc, From: Dr. Harding Groves <[email protected]>

Subject: Where are you now?

Jarina,

I love you. I want to know where you are over there. I got the notice you were promoted to major. Congratulations, Bundt Cake! I wanted to know if you’re okay. I heard on the news the various points where the Marines would be travelling in Afghanistan. I know they couldn’t give away the information, but you can tell me here in this post, right? I mean, ‘loose lips sink ships’ but I would love to know where my lovely is right now.

I’ve been practicing since you’ve left and it still feels like the first day. Every day, in fact, feels like the moment when you stepped away from me in Delaware. I want you in my embrace. I know there are serious, dangerous places where you might be. I know you’re commanding your Marines. I have no doubt you’re ready for this fight. I just need to know where you are. My phone keeps ringing with people who want to know how you are. Did you get that last care package?

It’s so weird trying to think of how I married a Leatherneck and that this is our main communication. I know they have these social networks now, but I’ll keep it simple with this correspondence. As a black female Marine officer, I can only wonder at how you have been treated. How much time will you spend in-country? I’ve got patients waiting for prosthetic limbs. What is it like to be out there on the frontlines with your men and you’re one of the only females, and probably the only female field officer? I’m sure you had to deal with some of the things I contend with as well.

My love for you is a burning. There is a piece of your spirit that is embedded in me just as my spirit is found in you, I venture. It is the fiery emotion that starts at the pit of my stomach and soars up through my mind. I wish to know about the entire scope of the war there….As a matter of fact, I don’t. I just want you. I think the kids have more strength than I. If we are able to get a black man voted into the highest office in the land, we should be able to have a better understanding of your position, if the particulars must still be excluded. I am confident in your abilities. I look to you to be the dominant force in your unit and that they respect and look up to you even in your curious stance.

What I want to know most is how you’re taking care of your Devil Dogs. I know you. You’re probably ensuring that they have the most chow, that they’re telling jokes, and trying to just throw as much reality their way. I know you’re getting oily and dirty with them. You’re trying to be the one who makes them more vigilant over each other. You’re scaring away any thoughts of losing team members. I can see that. When you take your time and focus on your task, you are a laser that slices through nonsense and fulfills the task of being a true warrior. I love that about you. You can get Oakland and Calley together and keep them in line with care and responsibility. Your little boy and girl want you home, too.

Through time, we will know exactly where you are, but for now I will only wonder. I will consider the fact that you have hundreds of Marines under your care. You are the embodiment of strength and guiding light for the men and women over there. I just love you so much. Do you remember the time you and I attended that gala? Everyone thought I was the black Marine and you were the doctor. I mean everyone! I recall one woman stretching out her hand to you and saying, “Doctor, it’s such a pleasure.” Then you turned to her and quietly said, “he’s the doc,” while pointing in my direction. It looked like the woman was about to spit up the hors d'oeuvre she had just picked up from the plate.

It’s just moments like that that enchant me. I miss you. I know we’ve spoken over the phone and even you were granted video time over the Internet, but this feels right. This war seems to be going on and on in the media. We’re just coming out of the economic turndown as you know and that is weighing heavy on some of our investor friends. With the power of the mind, I know you will be able to come back home and make the Wilmington Stock Exchange shake in their boots. The anticipation of your return continues to drive me and keeps me grounded and proud. Yes, I am proud of you and your love. The time that we will share together will only sweeten over time like a Bordeaux.

I simply can’t get over the fact that you’re fighting for your own freedom. That is so unusual that many people don’t find the value in it. You shield your teammates because they’re your teammates. That’s the beauty of being in the position in which you find yourself. How do you know about the places you’ll enter? Do you have orders ahead of others because you are an officer? I ask so many questions. They’re distractions. I expect that you will continue to be a beacon of light amidst a wasteland for those junior enlisted Marines who actually do the bulk of the fighting. I know their lives lay exactly on your shoulders. As a leader of Marines, you demonstrate the conditions of a daughter, woman, mother, and my wife. Our love shines through the mud and the bombs and the bullets and the fog and dust and the blood of battle.

You’re out there every day with the elements and the hostility and everything that could completely disturb your mentality, you have, in your last emails, shown yourself to be vital and sound. You appear to be, maybe not enjoying your job, but you’re thoroughly engaged. You’re so emphatic in illustrating your abilities to engender a sense of purpose that I stand back in awe. I marvel at your total grace and wit and fire and grit. What you do with your love is so profound that it almost beats the written word.

You write nothing about the pains you’ve experienced. You write not of repression but full expression of the bureaucracy and sexism and racism that you’ve faced. When it comes right down to it, you’re a gem that has been tinged with the blood of those who have fallen under your command. You don’t take lightly the role you play. You’re even more dedicated to the thought of being a true woman warrior. With boots on the ground, you bring more confidence into the fore. As you move from one place to another, you are forever my empress. I will keep writing and maybe we can video chat in the future. Your mine, Bundt Cake.

Love,

Harding

On March 9, 2009 at 20:23