You Only Die, Once You Stop Living

Rocky Balboa: The Movie Formely Known as Rocky VI (Review)

The burning desire in us just doesn't go away because we gained a year in age. In fact, I would argue that our desires becomes even greater especially when you have people telling you what you can or cannot do.

And no; I'm not talking about a venereal disease when I speak of burning desire.

This isn't an Al Capone situation where he caught syphilis and that was pretty much the end of ole' "Scarface."

Poor Al! All those years of dodging G-men and mobsters only to get taken out by a disease that can easily be cured with a shot of pencillin in the arse.

Speaking of Capone, we have to admit that he was a very driven man.

He "worked" his way up from a Brooklyn slum to being an absolute success and once he reached one goal, he would always create another.

That's what life should be about; Reaching your goals and doing whatever drives you, regardless of age.

Fuck what people have to say because after all, this is your life!

You come into this world by yourself and one day, you're going to leave it by yourself.

I mentioned age because time is only an illusion. Just ask Rocky Balboa.

You know it's about that time for the final review of the "Rocky" series and here I go with the last one of these films bearing the legendary characters' name in the title.

Before I begin, I noticed they got rid of the Roman numerals with this film. 

I wonder why they decided to call it Rocky Balboa rather then naming it Rocky VI. Is this some kind of forewarning of what's to expect or not expect from this sequel?

Maybe, the reason why they ditched the Roman numerals is because they didn't think this movie was deserving of one.

It's been a minute since I've seen the film so I don't have much of a recollection of it other then a few quotes from the characters in the movie.

I'm going to keep an open mind when watching this film.

Slides in my VHS tape. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, FBI; I know I can be prosecuted if I try and make a copy of this film.

Anyways.........

MGM still has that lion roaring. That lion has to be at least 639 years old. 

Hold up! Did they use The Statue of Liberty as the model for the Columbia pictures logo? Hmmhmm, I never noticed it before. 

Revolution Studios with a very cool-looking logo as well.

Antonio Tarver, real-life boxing champion, is making his acting debut in this one. He is Mason "The Line" Dixon.

He hit a man so hard that the man's spit went high up in the air. Ewwww. 

It was either spit or a flash from one of the cameras from the audience capturing the spit.

Oh, I can see where they're going with this film already. It's the whole "old school vs. new school" debate.

The fans are booing and throwing ice at the champion Dixon, but why.

You all knew he was fighting a tomato can before the ink was dry on the contract but yet you all still showed up. You shouldn't be throwing ice at Dixon; You should be throwing ice at yourselves for showing up for this horseshit fight.

Frank Stallone and his doo wop crew are back as the cinematography takes us around the City of Brotherly Love.

It's still a shitty place but a shitty place with extremely, tall buildings. 

Isn't gentrification wonderful!

SMH. They would kill off Adrian wouldn't they?

Well, look on the bright side, Rock; The place that you're currently living in is not as bad as the other one was. 

This house makes the old place you started in look like that mansion you had AND lost in Rocky V.

Damn, those are some big ass turtles. 

You sure you got enough water in there Rocko because they look like they was begging for air in that last scene.

Rocky does some chin-ups and heads down to the cemetery to spend some time with his lady. 

Paulie’s there as well and I see he’s been eating rather well.

He has quite the pot belly on him.

Regardless of how much less money Rocky has these days, it hasn't affected Paulie's caloric intake in the least bit. He's still eating like they're the Rockerfellers even though their budget's more like the Waltons.

Goodnight John Boy! Goodnight Paulie! Lay off the croissants, pal!

Those are some very beautiful roses that Rocky placed on top of Adrian's headstone.

They're still scoring this film with beautiful music. They will never not be able to do that right.

Rocky's son looks like a real douche at first but when you really analyze him, you see that he's just a young man trying to come out from underneath Rocky's looming shadow.

Now Kid Rocky's boss is an absolute prick. 

Man, I hate middle management! It's usually some chump in a tired, old blue suit trying to instill his insecurities inside of you. Hang tough, kid.

Rocky's visiting locals and purchasing some food for his restaurant which is affectionately called Adrian's.

Awww. That makes me want to shed a tear.

Now I said that it makes me want to shed a tear; That doesn't mean I'm actually crying as I profusely wipe the tears aways.

I need to go back and find out when Adrian passed. 

Rocky's got a cutie working the front desk by the name of Isabel. I was going to ask her to "go half on a baby" but by the looks of things, some other lad has already beat me to it.

Rocky's sitting there telling the same ole' stories to the patrons. 

Rocko, they don't want to hear them; They just want to eat.

Besides, there's no enthusiasm in you when you're telling these stories whatsoever. You lack the energy that you once had. 

Rock's informed by that fine Isabel that his son can't make dinner tonight.

Rock, even Ray Charles saw that one coming. 

Rocky and Paulie are talking about old times. Well, it's mainly Rocky talking; Paulie just wants to be somewhere warm. 

I don't blame you, brother.

During their trip down memory lane, Paulie becomes angered from the way he realized he treated his sister when she was living.

He's pretty much over it at this point; He just wants to go home.

Rocky stops by one of his old hangouts, a bar and has a beer as he comes across another familiar face.

The bartender was the young girl, Marie, that he once walked home and told her to stop smoking.

She seems like she grew into being a kindhearted person but she's giving off this vibe of being a little bit of a tortured soul but a kind one at that.

It's in her eyes.

She's unsure of herself but there's an innate toughness inside of her very reminiscent of Adrian.

They're having a good convo when they're abruptly interrupted by a braggadocios fan. Actually, she looks more like she's on the meth head side of the game then the braggadocios one.

Her eyes looked gone like a zombie. Her pimp AKA her "boyfriend" put her up to it.

Balboa offers to give Marie a ride home.

As they're walking to his van, Rocky's being heckled by the same clowns from the bar earlier.

He tells Marie that "it's alright."

Of course it is for her. They're not talking about her; They're talking to you, fool. 

Eventually, Rocky comes to his senses and decides that "it's not alright" and decides to do something about it.

He goes over there and being the true gentleman that he is, orders the young ladies back inside as he hassles their pimp. He hems the man up against the wall and orders him to apologize to the woman in the van which he does and is let go by Rocky.

Way to go Rocko; I knew you still had a little bit of that thumb-breaker mentality still in you. Gazzo would be so proud.

Rocky drops Marie off at her place if you can call it that.

I've seen rats live better then this woman. Good grief! This place makes the house that Adrian and Rocky lived in back in the early "Rocky" series look like the Taj Mahal. 

Oooh! That's not her place. She lives next door. I was about to say!

Come to think of it, I wonder if this was the place that Rocky and Adrian once lived in. I don't know; All these buildings look too much alike. 

Marie thanks Rocky for the ride home. 

Rocky's not fooling anybody though; He wants to give her another kind of ride. 

Don't worry Rocko; I won't tell Adrian. Besides, Adrian's been reincarnated already living her new life as a mistress to a billionaire in Dubai. 

Mason Dixon heads back to his stomping grounds to find his purpose in the boxing world and this storyline.

He makes amends with his old trainer who lays some heavy gospel on him.

Rocky's back at his restaurant hosting and is notified that Spider Rico went downstairs.

The poor guy just wanted to do his part by washing dishes to show his gratitude for all the free meals Rocky has supplied him with over the years. 

Rocky has some new patrons at his restaurant; Marie and her son, Steps.

Speaking of sons, Rocky's kid is at a bar having drinks when Sportscenter airs a piece about his father and what he would've done against the aforementioned Dixon.

We even get a Brian Kenny sighting. 

I remember seeing that guy all over ESPN back when it was ESPN. I wonder what happened to him. 

They have a group of analysts giving their opinions about the proposed fight and then air a simulation of the bout.

Rocky's simulated character looks more like Rocco Siffredi then it does Rocky Balboa.

And for the young lads out there that don't know who Rocco Siffredi is, ask your father; I'm pretty sure that he will be more then happy to tell you who he is.

The simulation has Rocky winning with a knockout.

Rocky takes Marie and her son back home and even changes her light bulb.

Kinda went high with the wattage there, didn't you, Rocko. Next time, use a bulb with less lumens. 

Rocky offers her kid a job and takes him to adopt a pet that he names "Punchy."

Paulie with one helluva quote about the state of Adrian's restaurant,

"a bunch of Italian food cooked up by a bunch of Mexicans ain't so special, Rock¹." (36:04-36:07)

Paulie wants to talk about that fake fight between Dixon and Balboa.

More old ESPN as we get a Dana Jacobson sighting before she dissed "Touchdown Jesus" and almost got canned.

Jacobson has a strong ass jawline; She might've been "Touchdown Jesus," especially with that chin. Madon!

We even see a young Skip Bayless before Skip and Shannon: Undisputed fame or whatever they're calling the show now. This was even before First Take back when the show was called Cold Pizza & the segment that he and Woody Paige appeared in was called "1st and 10."

Rocky meets up with his kid and tells him that he wants to resume his fighting career and wants his kid to be involved.

His kid doesn't seem too enthralled being on the "home team" again and tells his father that whatever he's dealing with, will subside soon enough.

Rocky tells Paulie or should I say Dr. Paulie, who gets quite the kick out of it. 

He even tries analyzing Rock. You know, that meat man jacket he's wearing makes him look like a real doctor. A real quacked-out doctor but a doctor nonetheless.

Paulie's also a painter. I reserve judgment until I see the finished product.

Rocky has undergone a series of tests to get licensed to fight again. Miraculously, he passed all these tests with flying colors but he's still not approved for his boxing license.

Rocky gets up and leaves but pleads with the committee to allow him to fight. 

I noticed in this scene that Rocky spoke better here then he did all those years in the other "Rocky" films. Maybe he has healed.

He's eventually granted his boxing license.

See, it always pays to be persistent.

Rocky meets up with Marie and offers her a job at his restaurant but her insecurities don't allow her to accept it at first.

In other news, Paulie's given his "walking papers." 

The men that gave him his "pink slip" got the hell out of dodge as fast as they could. They could've outran Carl Lewis in his peak that night.

Well, Paulie can be kind of loco at times so I understand them putting their feet to pavement with the swiftness.

Paulie's at Rocky's restaurant "celebrating" his "retirement."

I got to hand it to Paulie though. He might not have a job anymore but he still has his sense of humor with this exchange of dialogue right here with Rocky's newly, appointed host,

Marie: "Well, do you have a reservation? Paulie: Do I look like a freaking Indian²?" (52:18-52:22)

Paulie storms out of Rocky's restaurant in Paulie fashion but tells Rocky that he will do alright in his comeback.

Rocky's greeted by some more guests. This man's mighty popular around these parts tonight.

It's two men from Mason Dixon's team and they offer Rocky a chance to fight the young heavyweight with a piece of the proceeds going to "charity" of course.

Rocky tells them that he needs some time to mull over their offer and that he will get back with them on an answer.

Rocky talks with Marie about the proposition he was given earlier. 

He's starting to doubt himself but she assures him to "go for it" or "fighters fight" in her case.

A press conference is called. 

It's pretty much the same mumbo jumbo, you'd expect. The fight is a fake! Rocky's a has-been & Dixon's a never-was!

The scene was lacking to say the least.

Rocky's visited by his son at his restaurant which I'm presuming he's there to get his father to pull out of the fight and I was correct with my presumption.

The two have a back & forth dialogue with Rocky getting the better of it by pulling the old switcharoo by telling his son that he doesn't believe in himself and is allowing others to dictate his life.

Isn't that what you're doing too Rocky with this whole fight thing?!

I think that the story of the relationship between the father and the son here is that the father loves boxing more then he loves his son.

Now, I'm not saying that he doesn't love his son at all; I'm just saying that boxing is his greater love. 

It's who and what he really is. 

It's like Apollo told him in Rocky IV; "They're warriors and warriors without a battle might as well be dead." 

Rocky finishes up lecturing his son and tells him to visit his mother which he does.

They make amends as Rocky preps for the fight.

He meets with Duke, Apollo's and his old trainer.

He pretty much tells Rock that he's lacking a lot but that he can make up for it with "power" as he cracks his neck when he says that.

That was incredible. This man stole the whole movie right here. 

It's got that old Rocky feel that makes you want to get up and train. 

Dixon and Balboa have a conversation after the weigh-in.

Dixon lets Rocky know that this is just an exhibition and if he tries anything, he will put him away. Rocky doesn't back down and is his same joking self whereas Dixon's much more serious.

The shot of the lightning at the hotel that Rocky's staying at in Vegas is freaking beautiful. Not sure if it was real or not but it's still quite the shot.

Rocky hears a knock at the door and let me guess; It's Marie and indeed it is.

She gives him a picture of Adrian and a pep talk but come on; Who are we really fooling here! She wanted to give him something else that starts with a p and rhymes with juicy. 

But Rocky, women weaken legs. You gots to stay strong, Rock. Tap that freak later. (in a Mickey font)

She leaves and kisses him on the lips. 

See, I told ya. She wants to thank him alright. Thank the hell out of him. In due time, Stallion. (in an Apollo Creed font)

Tonight's the night of the big fight and they have the old HBO boxing crew doing it.

I really do miss HBO boxing. 

It seemed like it was a million years ago now but man were they entertaining. 

Rocky gets his last rites. Oops! I mean his last words from Father Spider Rico. 

Rocky also receives one last pep talk from Paulie who gives him some kind words only like Paulie can and tells him that he loves him.

Balboa comes out to the ring with Frank Sinatra's "High Hopes" playing in the background.

A song selected by Paulie. Nice choice I might add.

Mason "The Line" Dixon is out next with some hardcore hip hop by Three 6 Mafia's "It's a Fight" as his entrance music. 

As he's in the ring being booed mercifully, we have another cameo. 

This time, it's former champion Mike Tyson ragging on the fighter which was pretty entertaining by the way. Now it's very mild ragging considering Tyson's very demonstrative history but still entertaining. 

Michael Buffer with the ring introductions.

Man, they really put that 250K to good use this time. I wonder what the budget for this film was. 

I was going to make a remark about Rocky being a bum because of his win loss record of 54–23 but I thought better of it.

He wasn't a bum and to my knowledge, fighters like that are damn good fighters and legit, tough guys. However, he just wasn't "selected" meaning that the decision-makers didn't think he had any drawing power at the time. 

Well, at least until Apollo Creed came along and saw his potential.

See, there's more to sports then just how hard you can hit, how fast you can move or how high you can jump. The real question is, can you put asses in seats? Because if you can, you're going to be a very rich man or woman. 

I mentioned Mike Tyson earlier and he's a perfect example of that.

We saw 80's Tyson and 90's Tyson and it was two entirely, different people. Tyson was a much better fighter in the 1980's but he was just as big of a draw in the 90's as he was then because people wanted to see him.

Now people also like viewing car accidents which speaks to the morbidity of us as beings but that's a whole other article for another time. 

The fight starts and Dixon's much too quick for the older "challenger." 

He wins the round handily but Rocky does display spurts of his Rockiness. (Pause)

Dixon's biggest battle thus far isn't with Balboa but with his trainer.

Why don't these fellas ever listen to their trainers! Swallow your pride, drive 55 and stay alive, man!

Rocky gets floored in the 2nd round but gets back up.

Rocky eats another knockdown and gets up at a count of 9. It looked like a rather slow count to me but it is boxing so they want to make sure that the fans get all the bang for their buck that they can handle. 

Mason wants the ref to stop the fight and takes his eyes off the prize which allows Rocky to mount a comeback.

Then Dixon injures his arm and gets knocked down by Balboa.

I think Rocky did enough to win that round.

Dixon tells his trainer that he believes his hand's broken. See, I told you to listen to your trainer, genius.

If you would've followed his instructions, this fight would've been over with and you would be on a beach filled with hot mami's sipping Mai Tais and counting all those newly, formed Benjamins in your bank account.

The rounds are flying by and Dixon's getting his ass handed to him. SMH, I tried to tell you.

They did a great job with the dramatization as the rounds went by with the haunting music and with Rocky seeing images of Mickey and Adrian.

This whole fight is making it look like Rocky's the victor; Well, he is the draw here so it's understandable. 

Rocky's son pleads with him that he has nothing left to prove but Rocky says that he has one more round and is adamant about finishing it.

Rocky gets knocked down in the last round and gets up after taking some time to muster up the strength to go on as the crowd chants "Rocky!"

Dixon's announced as the winner by split decision but the fans could careless. Apparently, Rocky and crew feel the same way as they can be seen leaving the ring before the winner's announced. 

This movie showed me what has happened to modern athletes and entertainers. 

They have been demonzied whereas their predecessors where cantonized. 

They always talk about athletes today being bigger and stronger but that they lack the same heart & desire of their ancestors.

That's why no one gets behind these people like they used to. 

Hence why none of these people are drawing like they used to; It's strictly because the decision-makers dont want them to. They make more money off the old then they do the new. 

Anyways, Rocky goes to visit Adrian's gravesite. He lets her know that he couldn't have done any of this without her. 

And that's it!

They did a great job here by not trying to over romanticize it. They kept it simple and I like simple.

Of course, it was overdramatic but it was all by design. They understand that the people are longing for the days gone by and hate everything about modern times, other then the technology so they capitalized on it. 

All in all, it was a great movie and would've been worthy of a Roman numeral.

References

1. Rocky Balboa. Dir. Sylvester Stallone. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios & Chartoff/Winkler Productions (2006) Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (United States, 2007) Blu-Ray (2007)
2. Rocky Balboa. Dir. Sylvester Stallone. Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer (MGM), Columbia Pictures, Revolution Studios & Chartoff/Winkler Productions (2006) Sony Pictures Home Entertainment (United States, 2007) Blu-Ray (2007)