The Sinner

At first, I started watching it because of Julian's face. That boy's face is riddled with raw, vulnerable emotion. A full ocean's amount of regret even before he commits murder. And that is why I was hooked: 'He reminded me of me.' I tend to live life as if I have already done something wrong, and then I do something wrong, or I make a mistake. I salivated at the thought of his guilt being resolved or washed away, or even addressed to a point that satisfied his sensitive heart. I was so overjoyed when Julian came to the realization, with the gentle, angelic-like nudging from the detective that as long as you own up to it and learn to live with it, over time, guilt becomes palatable. The boy was then given the chance to experience sincere support and a love that matched his needs and he finally had someone understand his intentions. Season 1 was such a satisfying rollercoaster ride.

I decided then, I didn't need to watch anymore. However, in order to inform Netflix of my satiation I should have pressed the back button. As Netflix continued playing, I saw her, covered in blood, guilty, but not a murderer. And yet that is what she had just committed! Ha! I flakily had the impulsive urge to devour season 2 right then and there. Impossible right!? Especially for a mother of two, who needs to wake up early to do her small business taxes so she can apply for the covid rent subsidy and go to work. Well..........I went to bed at 4:30am, (if you can even call it that anymore) with season 2 rumbling in my tummy. Digested and processed during a few hours of sleep, I woke that morning with a lot less guilt. How can an impressionable boy who poisoned two and a trauma stricken woman who stabbed a guy to death help me deal with my childish, distracting issues?

The answer is Detective Ambrose. The only constant character involved in both seasons. He is able to consistently exhibit fierce loyalty to the truth and to the supposed criminal. His divine, unwavering and at times awkward endeavor of pushing for the truth caused me to fall deeply in love with his character, and Bill Pullman does such a mind-hurricane on me-- he should win every award that an actor can win, in my opinion. He healed me with every question, with every stare, with each quivering, yet genius discovery, and above all-- his undeniable faultiness--this sanctified him. Personally, I like indulging in over-justifying why I binge-watch the shows I do. I find it just as healing as watching them. I wish you safe binging-watching.