The Push by Ashley Audrain

The Push is not usually the kind of book that I reach for. However, that being said, I am very glad I grabbed this book. It is a candid book; you see moments where the main character, Blythe, is at her best, but many parts of the book detail her struggles adjusting to life and dealing with grief. This book is a very emotional read, and, because of this, I will warn that this book is not for everyone. If you are wanting something lighthearted with a happy ending, do not read this book.

Blythe meets her husband Fox in college. Their relationship blooms quickly. Blythe finds that, even though she doesn’t fit well with anyone else, she fits well with Fox. Their relationship isn’t built entirely on the truth though. Blythe doesn’t tell him about the relationship with her mother, who was abusive and neglectful and left when she was twelve, or the true, distant nature of her relationship with her father. When Fox starts talking about having children, she convinces herself that she wants them too. She spent so long trying to be perfect for him, what’s one more thing? When their daughter Violet is born, nothing is as it should be. The girl doesn’t respond well to Blythe and Blythe feels that there’s something off about her daughter. Fox doesn’t see anything wrong with Violet, his daughter is the perfect image of a little girl as soon as he steps through the door. He does see Blythe struggling to be a mother, and thus puts the blame of the strained relationship between mother and daughter on Blythe. As Violet grows older, she and Blythe coexist, but Violet never reacts to Blythe like she has to Fox. Blythe tries to ignore the increasing feeling of wrong that she gets from her child, but, now that Violet is getting older and is around other people, others are starting to notice her behavior isn’t quite normal. And then Sam is born. Blythe immediately feels the connection with him that she sees with the other mothers, something she has never felt with Violet. Motherhood comes easier to her with her second child. Blythe and Violet seem to be able to stand being in each other’s company more now that Sam is around. Unfortunately, the relative peace that has settled over the Connor household doesn’t last. A terrible incident upends Blythe’s life. Her world is crumbling around her and she finds herself alone in the aftermath.

This book is a very emotional read. At the beginning, it coaxes the reader in. The book says, “There’s a story here. It’s important. Read me.” Ashley builds a pretty picture of Blythe and Fox’s life before they had their children. The reader is lulled into a false sense of peace, they know something will go wrong, but how wrong? And when? The story then takes a quick nosedive into the problems it wants the reader to face. It talks about abuse of various kinds, the damage that abuse can leave on a person, and how that damage can spread from them. It talks about how some people aren’t meant for motherhood. It talks about how all too often women are unsupported properly by their spouse as they enter motherhood. It talks about death. It talks about infidelity. This book has no qualms taking the reader to very uncomfortable places and forcing them to look and acknowledge what might very well be part of someone else’s reality.

While I said this book was not for everyone, and I really do mean that, I think it’s a fantastic read. I would give it a solid 4.5/5 stars.