My strange addiction: reality TV shows

You know that feeling you get when a nicely wrapped package arrives on your doorstep? The yay it's for me feeling? That's how I feel when I log into hayu and there is a new episode of any one of my favourite reality TV shows. You know that episode of My Strange Addiction when the creepy guy has an obsession with pulling hair out of drains? Sick, right? Well I imagine I get the same rush that he does when he has locked himself in the bathroom at a friend's place and pulled out a long, matted piece of hair when I see that not only is there a new episode of Southern Charm, there's also a new episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County and The Real Housewives of Dallas (to be honest this one is a stretch, but hey a girl's got to get her fix). I unashamedly LOVE trash TV. A dose of the vile and revolting antics of the cast of The Valleys? Yes please. A catch-up with Snooki and JWoww and her TMI confessions that she and her boyfriend never have sex? Sure, bring it on. Vanderpump Rules, Below Deck, Keeping Up With the Kardashians (not a favourite but a back-up when other options have been exhausted) Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club (that girl is nuts!), Ex on The Beach - they all make the cut. But my absolute go-to shows? I can't go past The Hills, The City and Siesta Key. I would be embarrassed to find out just how many hours I have spent binge-watching these shows (it's probably why the couch has a permanent indent from where I sit - LOL). My fiancee and I have watched each episode dozens and dozens of times. Hell, I could probably perform a one-woman show of each and every episode on demand.

So, why do I love these shows? A number of reasons. Indulge me. First and foremost - it's easy watching. You can tune in and out and still know what's going on. Kind of like those soap operas where you watch an episode over the Christmas holidays and six months later when you have a sick day and watch it again you still know what's going on. Kind of like Passions -remember that bat-shit crazy soap with the talking doll and the weird alternate worlds that reeled my sister and I in like the delicious waft of KFC does a hungry junk-food addict. Secondly, it's the warts-and-all fly on the wall insight we get into the lives of those on the show. It's a fresh break from the picture perfect life of the likes of Carrie on Sex and the City. That bitch gets all the good story lines on that show. Samantha gets sprung performing a sexual act on a delivery guy, Miranda has to be helped from her bathroom floor naked by Carrie's boyfriend and Charlotte POOS her pants while on holiday. Not to mention Carrie is the most selfish person on the planet - but apparently her friends love her anyway. To those of you shouting at the screen, think about it. Miranda will call Carrie asking for advice, but the subject always turns to Carrie's issues, also said sending of Aidan to save Miranda because she was busy and who could forget when all three of the characters basically pushed Miranda out of the cab because she had little Brady in toe? The characters on reality shows like The Hills are bitches and they own it. Imagine having a friend like Kristin in real life? I'd be shaking in my boots. Picture having to work with Olivia Palermo on a daily basis as she struts in wearing the latest million dollar Gucci suit. And ponder what it would be like to have your nose broken by your friend Amanda, only for the whole cast of Siesta Key to somehow blame you.

Thirdly, it's the age-old the truth is stranger than fiction. Don't worry, I know a lot of the story lines are concocted or massaged for your pleasure as they would say on The Only Way is Essex but the reality TV tagline doesn't have you shaking your fist at an episode of Neighbours saying "yeah right, as if that's believable" or "hey, don't insult me, that storyline has been done before".

My only problem at this point? I've run out of bloody new episodes. So, Lisa Vanderpump if you're reading this can you please hurry up and give me a sneak-peek of what's going on behind the doors at SUR and Tom-Tom? I have a prescription from my doctor who says I need a dose STAT.