Harry Potter

Late last year I started reading the entire Harry Potter series for what seemed like the hundredth time. Why? Well, the simple truth is that I simply love the series. There’s something comforting about reading the same books that I’ve read as a child. Allen Rickman said it best with just one word: always. Last Month I, along with thousands of other people all around the world tuned in to watched Harry Potter 20th Anniversary: Return to Hogwarts on HBO MAX and it just made me fall in love with the series all over again.

To backtrack just a little bit…when the first book was published, I was around eight years old and hadn’t fallen in love with reading. To be honest, who does love reading at eight years old? Flash forward to 2001 and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone had just hit theaters. I believe by that time I might have at least read the first book which probably explains why I was so excited to see that movie and I think all these years later that I must have at least read the first book since I was so excited to see the movie, but it has been over 20 years so it’s to remember those small details.

On June 4, my beloved grandfather (who lived with my mother and myself since she was three months pregnant) lost his battle with lung cancer when he was 76 years old. Going through that whole experience of watching him battle cancer and then losing that same battle sent me into this kind of downward spiral that lasted for months and by the time Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone came out that November, I had been diagnosed with depression and had undergone several methods of therapy, none of which seemed to work, but when I learned that the first book was being made into a movie and having my mother agree for me to see the movie with a friend was the highlight of my year.

Ever since then, I’ve read all the books and have read them over and over again even going so far as to read the entire series once a year, but I haven’t done that in a while. This year I turned 32 and I’m currently re-reading my way through Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix for what seems like the hundredth time and my goal is finish the entire series (again) by the time Saint Patrick’s Day rolls around.

We shall see.

While I love the series (and always will), I was curious about why people such as myself love to read the same things over and over again so I decided to do some digging and found an article at news24.com (you can find the actual article here). The article actually focused on watching the same movies and TV shows repeatedly, but I think the same rules apply. When it comes to watching or reading the same things again and again, psychologist Pamela Rutledge says that re-watching and re-reading the same things that you enjoy can be a simple way of trying to control your emotions when your world feels like it’s out of control.

She also says, “it can become really therapeutic, especially if you are feeling anxious.” She goes on to say that re-watching (and re-reading) can reaffirm that there is indeed order in the world and because of that, it can create a sense of comfort to people.

When I read that article, it was like a light bulb went off in my head, telling me that this made perfect sense. Throughout my late teens and into my early twenties, I experienced severe social anxiety and depression that had gotten so bad that there were times where I refused to leave my house for days on end and even considered suicide at one point. Fortunately, I never went through with it and sought help when I needed it most and today I’m happy to report that I’m healthy and happy. I tell you all of this not because I want you to feel sorry for me (I hate pity of all kinds), but because I really and truly think that what Pamela Rutledge said is true. We watch and read the same things again and again because they provide a sense of comfort.

And so, I read the Harry Potter books again for the…well, it doesn’t really matter how many times I’ve read them. What does matter as that after all these years I still enjoy the series and I hope I do for years to come. I believe that Dumbledore and Snape said it best.

“After all this time?”

“Always.”