Book Review: "Conversations with Friends" by Sally Rooney

Yes, I'm reading some more Sally Rooney because I really enjoyed Beautiful World, Where Are You? Even though I really didn't like Normal People - it doesn't matter, there's only one way and it's forward. Sally Rooney's universality is wild because she is definitely not, as a human being, someone who can comment on the common experience of everyone. Middle-class, white and privileged - it is actually a wonder how she can express these existential issues as common problems everyone has without having access to the common working-class person. I would say this is quite an achievement and, as we continue, we look at Conversations with Friends. Again, this book is painfully middle-class and white, but it does ask all the right questions.

Frances is a 21-year-old aspiring writer who has an ex-girlfriend called Bobbi, and they are currently best friends. She's definitely quite a likeable character who often asks the more existential questions about life, as Sally Rooney's main characters do. Intellect forms the basis for their close bond and we definitely get a look at the world of arts and culture through the lens of these two painfully middle-class characters - though they're aware of it and often make light of it from time to time. Bobbi is definitely the more charismatic one and though they are friends, it definitely feels like Frances is trying to perform all the time, I don't know whether that was intended though. Sally Rooney's writing is easy to read and often witty with cultural references, dark comedy and sporadic interjections of existential thought in the modern world.

The two women perform spoken-word poetry together and are introduced to Melissa, an older essayist and photographer who takes an interest in them. As someone who used to perform spoken-word poetry at university I think I can definitely relate to meeting weirdo older people who are interested in you for some unknown reason. For example: a very old woman was interested in why I was reading Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell but reciting poetry about the concept of death. It was all a very long time ago now. Melissa's world is rich and connected, there's networking everywhere. Frances, who both envies and resents the stability it represents and this is definitely one of those returning tropes in Sally Rooney's work. Wanting what someone else has just because the grass looks greener on their side at first. Once the doors are opened though, things aren't all roses and rainbows.

Frances is drawn to Melissa’s husband, Nick, a handsome but depressed actor. Their flirtation is quiet, tentative, and steeped in emotional withholding. Rooney employs her great sense of minimalism to create a sense of intimacy through understatements, revealing attraction not through dramatic declarations but through silence, hesitations, and private thoughts. It feels almost Victorian in its restraint and yet, Rooney is showing us the universality of this kind of courtship. It's definitely not something that was just Victorian, but it definitely seems like that is the tone we are getting.

Frances and Nick begin a clandestine affair marked by emotional ambiguity and existential confusion. Again, we come face-to-face with the existential questions of what life is truly about and the short and sweet comments from characters that show they are entirely aware of the meaninglessness of existence. Its not a deep focus, but sometimes it is dropped into conversation and it catches the reader almost off-guard, though it is a brilliant feature of Sally Rooney's writing. Bobbi also becomes increasingly close to Melissa, creating a parallel emotional entanglement that destabilises Frances. Frances feels threatened by the ease of Bobbi and Melissa’s connection, exposing her possessiveness and insecurity. The romance, the platonic relationships, the shifting dynamics of friendships - these are all the things that categorised Beautiful World, Where Are You? and I found that book to be brilliant.

Frances' health gets worse, her relationship with her alcoholic father deteriorates, and her friendships and relationships are all based within a dynamic of envy and resentement instead of love and compassion. Conflict resolution seems really far away and Frances is on the emotional brink. Sally Rooney's ability to create this universal experience, this brilliant self-awareness which is almost hyper-awareness mistaken for narcissism is brilliant. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and every metaphor it presented to the reader about who we are and who we think we are.