An Unnecessarily Deep Dive Into ‘Predators’

This article was heavily inspired by our own Kali Tuttle, and her masterpiece on the 20th anniversary of Thomas and the Magic Railroad. Kali live tweeted the movie as part of her process, and I thought that was genius. So, I asked her permission to do the same for the 10th anniversary of Predators. If you happen to feel like reading my 118-deep Twitter thread, feel free. It contains screen captures, so at least it’s illustrated nitpicking.

Spoilers here, and in said tweets, as you might expect.

Our Characters, Part One

Predators opens with an unconscious Adrien Brody in free-fall. He wakes up, freaks out accordingly, barely gets his parachute open in time, then crashes into the jungle. The thud of his landing coincides with the film title hitting the screen. It’s an effective way of starting off. Immediate action and chaos.

Next, Danny Trejo arrives. He and Brody have kind of an action movie version of a “meet-cute.” Trejo pops up immediately after landing, two guns ready to blaze. “Calm down,” says Brody. “F*** you!,” says Trejo in a panic. This is repeated, and it’s pretty funny. A dead guy unceremoniously falls out of the sky while they’re arguing.

Next thing we know, our duo is being fired upon. The shooter has the aiming ability of a Star Wars Stormtrooper, because lead characters are involved. Brody tracks down the source of the gunfire, puts a gun to the new guy’s head, and says: “Please stop doing that.” It’s all in the delivery, but I promise, it works. He then tells him, “You’re firing on the wrong people.” “How do I know?,” asks the new guy. “Because, otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Turns out, the new guy’s name is Nikolai (Oleg Taktarov), and he seems pretty nice. Shooting at them aside.

Hold On… What’s Up With Brody’s Voice?

I feel I should tell you, Adrien Brody is using sort of a Clint Eastwood meets Batman voice for this movie. The reasoning, I assume, is his character wishes to remain nondescript, and not have an identifiable accent. No one knows a thing about this dude (not even his name), and he wants to keep it that way. Brody is a method actor, after all, so he thinks about these things. Plus, it sounds action movie-ish.

Our Characters, Part Two

A woman arrives next. She’s standing there silently, aiming at our three dudes. She could’ve easily taken them out without them ever knowing what hit them. “You wanna lower the weapon?,” Brody asks. A slight shake of her head and a smirk are the only response. I think we’re going to dig her.

Next, we get another silent but deadly type of character: a man in a suit, and nice shoes. He seems like the coolest person here, and he hasn’t said or done a thing yet. Then, he takes off his shoes and spends the rest of his time barefoot.

Now, there’s a dude (Walton Goggins) in an orange prison jumpsuit, fighting with another guy (Mahershala Ali) he met right at that moment, yet already has beef with. Our quartet arrives, sans cool barefoot guy, who has yet to be seen by them.

Goggins asks if Ali is with them, then mentions a guy in a tree…

Oh Boy, Here We Go

The “guy in the tree” (hanging upside down from his parachute) is none other than Topher Grace. Definitely not among my favorite actors. The only thing I liked him in were the early seasons of That 70’s Show. And maybe BlacKkKlansman, because he was almost unlikable enough to pass for David Duke.

To be fair, the person they originally wanted for the skinny comic relief (and totally not a villain in waiting at all) doctor character was… wait for it… Adrien Brody. I am completely serious. Brody basically said, “Nah, I’m good. How about that lead, though?” The filmmakers told him he wasn’t the right type. He put on 30 pounds of muscle, campaigned hard, and got the part. As great as that was for him, it left us with… this guy.

Two Reveals

Now that the main cast is assembled, it’s time to start figuring out what the heck is going on! Where are they? Why? What’s all this weird stuff they keep finding? Soon, they stumble upon a fact that changes the game.

This jungle they were all dropped into is… not on Earth! And yes, the score essentially goes “dun dun dunnn” when this is revealed.

Suddenly, they’re being chased by dog-like things that have antlers on their heads, and mouths like the sandworms in Beetlejuice. It’s the first super “what the heck?” part of this movie, and frankly, takes down its quality. They had potential to be cool, but… weren’t. They justify their existence somewhat by attacking Goggins, whom we all wish harm on by this point. After the dogs are called off by a whistle sounding, Brody declares this planet is a game preserve. They are the game. Those were hunting dogs, sent to flush them out.

Bummer, But Helpful

Trejo‘s character (apparently named Cuchillo) is the first to die, because this big meany movie wants to bum me out. Cuchillo’s death serves a purpose, though: it reveals Predators can record voices and use them for manipulation. Braga found this out after she shot him (from behind) to put him out of his misery, and he called for help again! He was clearly dead before her “kill shot,” so, it was the Predators using his voice the whole time. They set him out as bait, and boobytrapped him.

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