Silent Hill 2 Remake: Wow, It's Actually Good (spoilers)

Every horror fan and their grandma has been hemming and hawing about the Silent Hill 2 Remake. The few scant previews we've had have been polarizing to say the least. I have a few gripes of my own, but overall, I think this is a brilliant and faithful remake of a timeless classic.

Of course, you're going to have your detractors, like the purists who will iconize everything about the original game as fervently as a religious zealot clings to their dogma. Then there are the political types who claim that Maria wearing more conservative clothes is "woke," which is a weird ironic sentence to type. I would caution against going down Steam review rabbit-holes and Reddit threads, you will lose brain cells from the Anti-Woke Brigade getting highfalutin over Angela looking like a realistic woman. But you didn't click on this article for a dressing down of silly boys and their misogynistic opinions. You want to know about the game.

James Sunderland is a widower who begins his journey in a bathroom. This iteration of James is much younger, now looking to be in his late-20s. While Guy Cihi's voicework was phenomenal for its time, I always thought James was older than he actually is. It has to be really tragic to lose your wife at 26-years-old. At that age, you're progressing in your career, maybe thinking of settling down and having a family. Now, 29 and still recovering from his loss, he's to calm himself down in a public restroom.

He exits the bathroom and we hear the first few lines of Mary's letter and James' confusion over it. We have a closeup look at James leaning against the overlook railing. The game seamlessly transitions into gameplay. Bloober Team opted for a third-person camera. While the dynamic camera angles were cinematic for the PS2/PC version of its time, the remake really wants to show off its increased resolution and graphic performance. The fog billows through the air like puffs of smoke. The atmosphere and music cushions your ears, really bringing the world to life with each crunch of gravel and creaking of a gate.

Quite a lot has been added to the game, going from a 8-10 hour experience to an 18-20 hour one. Some players might feel slightly nervous about that, worrying there will be padding and pacing problems. But the additions are worth the extra time because they add to the lore and horror of the game. Speaking of horror, you'll likely come across the first enemy after seeing one shamble off into the fog. A trail of viscera serves as your guide and James, of course, has to prove he is as reckless as his OG counterpart.

The Lying Figures are far more combative in the remake, actively pursuing James like he's a slab of Wagyu steak. One of the silliest things about them is they have a Press-Button-Not-To-Die attack despite not having arms. It's more to do with their acid bath ability, which has been changed from an annoying spritz of poisonous vapor to a torrent of rancid puke. Later levels have another variant of them that will explode into a puddle of acid upon death. The combat is less clunky and more frequent since the game engine is no longer limited to a certain amount of entities on screen like it was on the PS2 version. I'd advise combing every nook and cranny for healing supplies and ammo, because you will need plenty of them in good supply.

There are added puzzles, like the jukebox one where you need to find two halves of a snapped vinyl, a button, and a coin. The clues to figure out what to do are done diegetically within memos past residents have written to each other. Upon completing the puzzle, you'll find a key to the Woodside Apartments. There's an added feature in the Overworld (the main town). If the town gets impatient, it will usher you to your next objective with windstorms and increased monster spawns. This adds the feeling that the town or its mysterious power is hurrying you along like a rat in a maze.

Among the greatest of changes, the level design has been drastically changed and I'd say it's for the better. As highly regarded as the original game was, its "moon-logic" puzzles had their fair share of criticisms. Those puzzles are even referenced in the remake, showing their original placement with what I call James' "nostalgia senses." You'll see a first-person close-up of the objects and a reverential tune will play.

One of the more innovative changes was the Safe puzzle. In the original, James shoves his hand into a filthy toilet to retrieve a wallet. In that wallet is a code to unlock a safe that is filled with ammo and health drinks. Sadly, such a treasure trove of supplies won't be found in the remake, the Safe now required to retrieve one of the coins for the Coin Puzzle. And if you're thinking the toilet scene was removed from the game, nope. Sorry. It's just in the Otherworld now.

Yes, the game now has separate Otherworld sections which bring back the rusted, filthy alternate dimensions you might be familiar with in Silent Hill 1 and 3. And you enter the Otherworld after a harrowing introduction to Pyramid Head, the infamous Silent Hill monster that has bled over to other games and media in the franchise.

This scene caused a lot of contention in the fandom, claiming that Bloober Team were censoring the original Pyramid Head scene he is seemingly mimicking rape of two Mannequin monsters. Though if you listen to the remake's scene, you can hear sounds that imply Pyramid Head still has his way with the four-legged victim. It's not a case of censorship, rather a way to instill fear in the player by making them imagine the terrible act.

This is the transition point where you'll enter an Otherworldly apartment building, the Blue Creek Apartments. Everything is more metallic, dilapidated, and infested with bugs. The Clock Puzzle has been expanded into an entire level of finding hands for the clock, each hidden behind doors marked H, M, and S. James will finally take the plunge into a disgusting toilet to retrieve a clock-hand. There are monster variants, the Lying Figures now encrusted with a black substance and belching acid upon death. The Mannequins can hide from you as they don't trigger the radio static. And finally, when you've done the Clock Puzzle and you're ready to face the next challenge, you'll face the first battle with Pyramid Head.

It's not really a battle, as it was in the original. You can't kill Pyramid Head, just avoid his attacks long enough to trigger the timer. Shooting him can make the timer go down quicker but he will get pissed off and frightening agile with that big knife. Then the sirens blare and he leaves. James leaves through the same door and emerges back in the foggy, overcast town like nothing even happened.

I won't go over the whole game because this article will be 6000 words longer than anyone will ever read, so I'll go over one last area of the remake that was done really well: The Labyrinth.

The Labyrinth in the original game was already harrowing. A map that fills in as you explore, endless ladders to climb, dead ends with only monsters, and of course, Pyramid Head, patrolling the place like the world's scariest hall monitor. It's even more nightmare-inducing in the Remake, which I didn't think was possible.

You start off this section by running into Angela once more...and her father. The Abstract Daddy has been greatly expanded into its own maze of hallways fashioned like an old house. The creature is more grotesque than ever, the blatant symbolism of its writhing, fleshy conjoined bodies smacking you in the face. You are seeing the manifestation of Angela's sexual trauma and it is chasing you down. James has to run through the halls, kiting it around and shooting it, all the while looking for three TVs to smash. These TVs are recordings of Angela's father saying all matter of horrid, abusive things.

Once you smash the TVs, the walls start crumbling, revealing Angela's Otherworld beneath. It's a world of fleshy walls with steel pistons pumping in and out of holes in the wall. It can't be any more obvious what Angela's trauma is, it is so confronting and grotesque that I can't understand why people think the creators censored the game.

You defeat the Abstract Daddy and Angela gives it the finishing blows. But even with her aggressor dead, Angela is still a young girl who has suffered unimaginable trauma. The monster only looked that way to us, so it looks way worse to her, which I can't even fathom. And there is no happy ending for Angela. James is not the person to save her and neither is the player.

We move on in the Labyrinth to another shocking scene -- Maria, seemingly no worse for wear sitting behind bars. James is befuddled as Maria starts recalling memories she shouldn't have, memories that only his wife would know. Maria reveals her duality, both as the reminder of Mary and subversion of who Mary is. Where Mary is demure and sweet, Maria is provocative and tempting. It's confusing James even further when he's already in a downward spiral. He promises to find a way to Maria and moves on.

The Labyrinth is split into sections, each with their own frightening twist. Some of the hallways are filled with fluttering moths and Creepers. There are even bizarre tentacles that can't be traversed through. Some halls have Mandarins "walking" on the gates beneath your feet, screaming and stunning James. The flashlight isn't that helpful, only offering a small beam of light through the pitch darkness. You have to open a really gross fridge full of rotten viscera to retrieve an item. Not to mention these areas just feel so...alone. James is utterly immersed in a hell of his subconscious manifestation with only monsters for company. And when you think it can't get more depressing, you burn the rope holding the suspended cage and it just creates another damn hole to jump down.

Then there's one particular area of the Labryinth where the monsters are seemingly already dead and it's very red...red like a certain geometrically-headed fellow. You notice you're in an apartment...that looks like the apartment you met Mr. Pyramid Head in and suddenly the lights start flashing, sounds start blaring, and all those "dead" monsters come to life! You're treated to a long hallway and another onslaught of monsters and you'll start wondering if this is what it's truly like to be in hell. Then it happens a third time, only the walls are covered in bugs and there are Mandarin stabbing you from the ground grates.

And just when you think you're done and can save your game, suddenly Pyramid Head bursts through the wall and you have nowhere to run but into a tentacle-y hallway of awfulness. At the end of it all, you'll find Room 208, only to find Maria has been killed once more. Fucking...masterful.

That being said, I do have gripes. Mary's letter-reading at the end is...just not it. I am sorry to the Remake voice actress but you were given an impossible task. I do think the Lakeview Hotel scenes could have had more weight to them. James didn't look as aggrieved after watching the tape as he did in the original. They didn't give us time for the realization to kick in before Laura came in the room. I did like how the room turned into its "real" water-logged, burnt-out shell afterward.

But I am happy to give this game a solid 9.5/10. I highly recommend it and I am so fucking impressed that Bloober Team pulled it off. I hope that they will do more remakes for the Silent Hill series. Hell, I'd say they deserve their own mainline game. Just...maybe hire a storywriter, okay?

I have been CD Turner, you have been excellent, and I'm going to have nightmares about flashing red lights and geometry. Good night!