Gaming is Lonely Sometimes

(Intro)

Video games can be an exhilarating and collaborative experience for many. Whether it’s fighting a raid boss in an MMO, or working together as a team in an FPS to capture the final objective and win the game, as the rise of online games have grown within the last decade, so too has the desire to be around other players and be social with one another. It’s almost become a necessity for many games to have open worlds or hub areas where players can simply hang out, interact and get to know one another. And as amazing as those experiences can be, sometimes, even when you’re surrounded by like-minded people all working towards a similar goal, it can feel… lonely. Which feels like an odd statement to make, but I would imagine it’s a very similar feeling to being at a party or family gathering and just feeling alone. You try to socialize and be a part of the group, but it’s more comfortable to sit on the sidelines and watch things from afar. Maybe there isn’t anyone around your age, maybe you just are unfamiliar with your extended family because there are so many of them, these feelings can really be for any reason. I could just be projecting a lot of my own personal insecurities right now, but sometimes, even in games where there are players as far as the eye can see, gaming can feel lonely. At least, to me.

(Where does this feeling come from?)

I suppose I should begin by answering the inevitable question of, well why do you feel like that? And it’s fair to ask; you’d think being online for so many different video games, surrounded by others playing with you, that you could just get lost in the noise and feel like you’re a part of something bigger. And sometimes, that sensation is prevalent. You tune out the real world and just focus on the game and what’s in front of you. A true form of temporary escapism. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But a lot of the time, those other names on your screen end there. They’re just names. I mean, they’re people, of course, but either with some level of open communication, or in most cases, none at all, I can’t help but feel isolated. I’m with a team, and within that team a squad perhaps, but we, or at least I am just going through the motions of whatever is needed for that particular match. Now, the obvious solution to this problem is to find others and play with them with the help of apps like Discord; get out of your own comfort zone and try and be social online. But even with that extra layer, sometimes things are just stiff and awkward. Within online gaming, it can be difficult to assimilate into a brand-new group of people even if the introductions are pleasant. Maybe these feelings come from a personal sense of jadedness with the industry and media as a whole. Maybe again, I have some insecurities that need to be worked on, but I’d like to hope I’m not the only one who experiences these almost existential moments from time to time. I’ve felt this especially recently with Battlefield 6 and even recently a little bit in Arc Raiders more than anything. Playing on a team with thirty-one other players, in a squad of four, you’d imagine the communication would be off the charts. And while all the characters are yelling and screaming about what is happening around them, for the most part, the players feel relatively silent.

Normally, I keep voice and game chat off just because it can be distracting, and since it’s the internet, you never know what someone might say. Which makes you immediately go well, there’s your problem; you have all the social aspects of online gaming turned off, no wonder you feel alone. But why is that? Why do people feel the need to turn all the chats and ways of communication off? Is it because of potential spam? People being rude? Or just not wanting to interact with those components of online games? The good comes with the bad. For every negative experience you might have, there are bound to be twice as many good ones, especially from those who either get really into the game in a good way or even roleplay somewhat. But sometimes, it’s more in the way of just playing and experiencing the game more than anything. Recently, I made an extra effort for the last week or so, to not only have those features on, but to try and actively use them across a variety of games. And the result didn’t bear the fruit I thought it might have. At most, all I saw were lots of gg’s in the chat, which is always a respectable thing to do, but far from people either talking casually, communicating strategies or playful banter against the other team. It was quiet; even with all the noise going on around me. I felt lonely. I was a part of something, but not properly a part of it. You feel like you’re just a cog in the machine. And for some, that level of escapism is more than enough. The last time I can recall genuinely having enjoyable experiences with social elements in a game was believe it or not Battle Bit Remastered. Which was years ago.

No one took the game seriously because it had a blocky art style; the gunplay was phenomenal, and people were just playing the game to have fun and level up. People would use VOIP for all different kinds of reasons; again, they might roleplay a little, have genuine banter with the enemy team or just talk to random strangers on the internet about their day. It’s been a long time since that game, and even though it’s trying to make a comeback (after the developers went MIA for over two years), that is truly the last time I was actively excited to use the social features in a video game. Which is also why games like DayZ stand out to me, because in most circumstances, unless you play with other people, that game is the definition of loneliness. And yet, I like it; there is a sense of calm or peace that can be achieved by just running around, looting items and getting lost in the world. And when you do finally meet someone and can talk to them, those moments are critical because now it’s not just your life on the line, it’s your new friends as well. And should something happen to them, that’s when the sheer cold of being alone rears its ugly head once more.

(The lack of local gaming)

Because gaming in 2025 has become so focused about the online experience, when was the last time you played something locally with another person? Whether it was split screen or any kind of LAN setup, those experiences are certainly a thing of the past. Which is a shame because for so many, that’s how they were introduced to not only this media, but potentially several of their friends. People that are a little younger might’ve either barely had these interactions with video games or have missed them completely. What doesn’t help is that game companies these days have pretty much gotten rid of any local coop experiences. Arguably one of the most flagship local co-op games, Halo, removed that function in 5, and then swore they would always add it in future games. Well, it didn’t release on launch day with Infinite and took months to be added even though there was a glitch you could perform that not only allowed you to play co-op locally before you were supposed to, and it worked almost flawlessly. And they never even added online coop to the campaign. Obviously, this was done so more people had to buy the game, but the identity of games with seamless local co-op has been lost in the modern era of video games. At least from the big wigs that we used to be so accustomed to. Nowadays, they couldn’t care less about those experiences and just wanted more people to buy the game. Not every company is like that, however. Hazelight Studios under EA has released three fantastic cooperative games with not only local and online co-op but allowing only one person to buy the game so they can invite their friends to join and have fun. And while there are people out there trying to keep LAN parties and the like alive as they get older, it’s hard to maintain the hardware necessary to fit everyone into a single space, unless you literally fabricate a room dedicated to local game nights. Even though the online experience in games can feel lonely, singleplayer games are not exempt from this conversation either.

(Even single player can be lonely too)

As crazy as this sounds, even when I play games by myself offline, I can still feel lonely from time to time. Certain genres and specific games can also illicit this feeling of loneliness that isn’t warm or comforting. Dark Souls is probably the best series to use as an example. Since the player's character always appears after the major events have occurred, you usually find yourself wandering around a somewhat desolate world on its last breaths. The NPCs you come across can be welcoming but are usually far enough from one another that it feels like you’re watching the last remaining people in this world give their goodbyes before they leave, fight to their last breath, or become a husk of their former selves. Meanwhile, other games like Baldur’s Gate 3 kind of create the exact opposite feeling. A world teeming with life; people around every nook and cranny that it feels almost impossible to be alone. Especially considering you are working with a party of four. Who you can talk to anytime you want. There’s camaraderie in the party, you get to know them, and you don’t ever feel alone in this game. I guess the idea of loneliness in solo games depends on what you play. Something that is either post-apocalyptic or anything related would make those feelings bubble to the surface more, versus something like a Mario title, where the game is bright, colorful and teeming with positive experiences across the title. The, and I hate to use this word, vibe of the game will ultimately determine a majority of your experience and your emotional reaction to it. Even a heavily story driven game can give off the feeling of loneliness should certain events in that particular game take place. You lose party members, characters are killed off, you are tasked with being the only one able to achieve something greater. Whatever the reason might be, single player games can sometimes be the loneliest experience you can have. For better or worse.

(Outro)

This entire conversation most likely can be boiled down to personal insecurities within myself. Not being the most outspoken person in the world and usually preferring to be left alone to my own devices, perhaps those are some core reasons why gaming either off or online can feel so lonely. I just hope I’m not the only one that feels this way in 2026. The internet is a big place, and even though the whole idea of like half the internet being bots and pretty much dead spaces could be true, there are enough of us still out there that maybe this resonates with someone. It’s definitely something I will be actively trying to change in 2026; playing online games with the social settings turned on, as long as they aren’t intrusive to the gameplay experience and trying to just say hello to people I come across. Who knows, the start of a new friendship is always possible, and I think meeting new people is how you begin to better understand the world around you. More perspectives, more experiences and more stories culminate in someone developing a deeper appreciation for people and having a more gentle and warmer heart. We’re all in this together; we use games as a way to take a breather from the real world and how chaotic it always is. Let’s use the little time we do have to enjoy these games and worlds together. Thank you very much for taking the time out of your day to watch this video. Let me know down in the comment section below your thoughts on the connection between loneliness and gaming, how you feel playing online games these days and be sure to subscribe for more videos that tap into the more emotional spiritual parts of ourselves and the reasons why we play games in the first place. I hope to see you in future ones.