What Is "Maintenance Sex"?

Have you ever heard the expression "maintenance sex"? It may seem strange, maybe because we usually identify "maintenance" with duties relating to automobiles or property. This word, however, has recently acquired popularity in conversations regarding sexual intimacy inside marriages and long-term partnerships.

Anyone who has been in a long-term relationship understands that the honeymoon phase diminishes with time, and the pressures of life can make it difficult to find time for personal moments. The contrast between their early days of passion and their current private lives can be extremely evident for many couples.

Many couples are too fatigued to indulge in romantic activities at the end of the day, whether it's due to hard work schedules, prolonged hours, or the stress of managing a full-time job and family duties.

If you can connect to any of the above, know that a decline in sexual closeness is a frequent occurrence in many partnerships. It's very uncommon for couples who have been together for years to go through "dry spells" - periods when sexual activity is rare or even non-existent. According to a recent online study, many married, engaged, or long-term couples have reduced their sex frequency from four times per week to once per week.

"In a relationship, there comes a point beyond the infatuation and exploration stage," explains Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a clinical psychologist in New York. You become accustomed to each other, and life's demands and duties take precedence. Despite being in love, several extrinsic influences might changeone's mood for sex."

Nonetheless, it's critical to acknowledge that a couple's sex life, or lack thereof, has a huge impact on their relationship. Physical closeness is essential in a relationship. While there is no magic number that dictates how frequently couples should have sex (the perfect frequency varies widely based on factors such as age, libido, health, and more), a 2017 study found that having sex once a week might help maintain a certain degree of marital happiness.

So, what's the deal with maintenance sex?

Maintenance sex is all about integrating sexual intimacy in your relationship on purpose to maintain a continuous degree of physical closeness in the bedroom. It can take several ways, such as arranging sex ahead of time or deciding to engage in it even if you are tired or not in the mood.

It's crucial to note, though, that maintenance sex isn't about forcing either partner to have sex. It is a mutual agreement between both parties. According to specialists, this practice can be critical for the long-term health of partnerships. Is it, however, genuinely effective?

THE ADVANTAGES OF MAINTENANCE SEX

Maintenance sex can help couples rekindle their closeness at times of hectic schedules and lengthy work hours. Experts believe that even when couples participate in consensual sex when they are not exactly "in the mood," they might receive the benefits of this act.

Sex can lower cortisol levels, sometimes known as the stress hormone, while also activating the production of feel-good neurotransmitters in the brain, such as serotonin and oxytocin. Oxytocin, sometimes known as the "love hormone," is important in social interactions and emotional reactions, which is why it is related to feeling closer to one's spouse after having sex.

Furthermore, research reveals that sex provides a plethora of health advantages that go beyond mental and emotional well-being. Sex has been shown to reduce blood pressure, hence improving cardiovascular health, among other well-documented physical advantages. It also strengthens the immune system and can give complete or partial relief from migraines and musculoskeletal discomfort.

Sex also helps to relieve tension and anxiety while enhancing sleep quality. As a result, people are more productive at work and more able to communicate with others.

THE COMPLEX NATURE OF MAINTENANCE SEX

Is the concept of maintenance sex genuinely advisable? While the physical and psychological advantages of sexual activity are indisputable, experts and psychologists harbor reservations, and not everyone is convinced that endorsing and celebrating this practice is the right course of action.

Furthermore, as the phrase "maintenance sex" becomes more prominent, many people have voiced their thoughts on the subject, raising questions about consent and other societal issues including gender dynamics and stereotypes.

One important difficulty with maintenance sex is that it is mostly geared at women. A quick web search yields countless articles on how to engage in this behavior, but the advice is always geared toward women and seldom addresses guys.

The notion of maintenance sex is based on a heteronormative perspective of partnerships, in which male sexuality is frequently represented as having more physical desire than female sexuality. This reinforces the perception that women's appetites and passions are not the same as men's.

Audrey Tang, a psychotherapist and author who specializes in this field, underlines this issue and explicitly declares that participating in sexual activity while one partner is unsure or hesitant is not something to be praised.

"Sex is frequently one of the most loving and intimate acts that individuals can share," Dr. Tang observes. "It provides satisfaction to all parties involved, fostering emotional and physical bonds." When the narrative turns to providing this lovely gift of oneself only to maintain a partner's pleasure in a relationship,' it reduces not just the act but, more crucially, one's self-worth. It can damage one's self-esteem and confidence."

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